down before dawn, catch magnificent waves, they crash and explode like the birth of some universal event. for some reason (cold current) the water is considerably colder today, but it's invigorating and i'm enjoying riding some mighty powerful waveforms as my void claims me. 

you can't explain this stuff, it's beyond zen, it's some sort of hyper gate, transcendental.

later i have a coffee and get stuck into my osho book, i like the way the man talks, he makes some great observations about religions. i like mischievous. 

he talks about how happiness is something which is found from something or some one else, it's source is outside the self. he says only when you are creating something can you find bliss, which comes from within, it is not dependant on something external. i know all this but it's a pleasing confirmation especially as i have been so unhappy for a while, yet my moments of bliss are frequent.

the sun seems to burn through the clouds, and now as i drive home the sun is blazing the day away, intense and penetrating, it begins to get very hot and i turn on my over head fans and smoke a left over spliff, i think about sonchia, my mentor in jail, ponder over the conclusion to 'asset.'

it certainly was an unexpected ending, yet it was the only possible conclusion, i mean it's exactly what i would do, oh maybe i'd chose the enhancements but i am not a buddhist.  my mind wanders to ideas and ways of living that are hundreds of years old, the human brain was different back then, things were nowhere near as complex. buddha left instructions on how to follow him but our brains are very different now than back when he was daydreaming under trees, we can't possibly apply his techniques to our brains and expect the same result. we need enhancements. yes, i conclude, i would not have locked myself up, but i would have smoked that last thai stick and taken the upgrades. there is no going backwards sonchia my friend.