Thursday, October 06, 2011

the day starts yesterday and ends tomorrow, i don't know anymore, the carpet was pulled under me, i seem to be driving to see poppy and play with her, i'm so excited to see her face, little monkey smile and her feet, she gives me a beautiful smile, something genuine, something selfless and real. that's all i want. her mother is emerged in laundry and i can see the anxiety dance around her head like a swarm of bees, the reality of chores deflates her. i take her for a walk through the bush up some steps to heaven and back, we drink at the coffee shop and flick through a magazine and for a moment whatever weight that pulls her down is lifted but it returns later. the entity that enslaves her is hungry, it had a feast a few days ago and now she's jonesing, and i can feel the depression setting in me, i'm tired and depleted, i figure the elemental being will do what it wants to do, i doubt it will surface today, it's to soon. i play with poppy, the tv is loud, the environment is at odds with itself, i say goodbye to poppy and leave her and her mother, i feel like i overstayed my welcome, poppy smiles but her mum, her mum has a dark oppressive look around her and i know she will need to sleep so i walk away and leave her in her simmering complexity of artificial thought bubbles and anxieties.
i sleep for a few hours, smoke a joint, go see my friend, she buys me dinner knowing i am broke, and need cheering up. then i see my other friend who also makes me dinner and feeds me, she tells her visitors that i am a true gentleman, it's slightly embarrassing but true, i am english in that way. i sit down in her kitchen and we review our trials and tribulations, and i feel loved and i can love freely here, without entities or their agendas. later she and i make some south american visionary plant medicine drinks. the best tasting drink ever. i love it, the way it has that cocoa sensation of filling up the mouth with tastes and flavours way beyond the spoon size. insight comes, wisdom and answers. the demon has the mother by the balls, it will never let her go and it is highly likely it will infect the child, this is her karma, what a brave little baby. i love her for she has come to earth to teach us all.

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