another wet day as we enter blade runner season, without the neon, actually without the neon is even more depressing than with. some people like it (the endless rain), tasmainians, earthy types and hybrid human fish beings, me, i like the sun.
anyways despite the dismal weather i enjoyed a nice catch up with agent stoned last night as we exchanged reports on the strange minefield of relationships, friendships and the post trauma of modern sexual behaviour amongst the primate of the species. Mmm, it's a strange scene only confirmed to me by this mornings visit to sam, who proceeded to explain why she was dumping me for the second time in a month, i listened to her describe me as, sloth like, lazy and various other demeaning adjectives, i listened to her explain that we can't have a relationship becuase it's to simple as it is, (nice and easy) and she needs a 'cube' as oppossed to a 'square.' (my language)
She expressed concern that we were not 'in love' with one another (like that's a bad thing) and then said she 'didn't want to see so much of me' nor did she want me getting close to her daughter because i may not be around for ever.
i think i did reasonably well not to mislead her about my intentions, but obviously somethings wrong, and it's my fault, so i gracefully said goodbye and went to meet jake for some more David Attenborough, where amazed i watched animals behave in a more accessible and rational fashion than most humans i seem to meet on my travels.
it's hard to deal with other peoples expectations off me, i guess they always expect something different, i guess people place all sorts of demands on others in relationships, it's easy to always accuse the other person of being this or that and i'd be the first to admit that i am certainly no anthony robbins, i mean i seen what anthony robbins does to people and man, it's something to be feared. anyway, considering the concept of happiness, i was happy and now i am not. however i am not unhappy, i just move into the next thing, who knows what that may be, what shape it will take.
Later in the evening i recieved a call from my mum, (not my fave person) who proceeded to tell me she was sending me some inheritance from my grandmother. Actually the money had been left to mum and she was spliting it between my brother and i, however in between her babbling and ranting i got very confused and later rang to speak to my father who put me in the loop. as he was talking to me i could hear my mum screaming at him, jesus i thought why would ya live like that, why has he stuck by her all these years as she drives everyone nuts, why?
I don't have the answer, all i know is he loves her, but it's that horrible dependent love. Like a dog. I don't know if i could do that, maybe that's what happens to men after 50 years of being with your wife. jesus, if i get married again i wanna be with some one who never nags, tells me what to do, or tries to change anything about me. Maybe i'll have to marry a man.
Later agent stoned rings and i debrief about my awful day, she laughs, she has a different fix on me than sam. she works nights as well. I look outta the window at mission control, it's pouring, seems like 40 days and 40 nights.
3 comments:
start building your ark.
what i wonder is why people separate the 'relationship' and 'what occurs in the relationship' as 2 separate phenomena.
what occurs IS the relationship.
all the interaction is the relationship. every exchange is the fabric.
i wonder if much (if not all) malcontent in any relationship stems from thermophobia - fear of increased complexity.
now, if so its all just a matter of velocity (as usual).
solution; get higher, get more creative, get more sacred, get more aware - the usual procedure for overcoming glitches in any system.
personally, i think that once you get plugged in to the velocity game then complexity becomes beautiful. trick is to play with the complexity you want, not the imposed complexity mundane complexity that seems to always come with badly directed scenarios.
if things are becoming complex in ways do dont enjoy - question the structure of your relationship. you may need to fire the focus puller or first grip.
ways of bringing in the complexity you DO want can include; psychedelics, ritual, extreme sports, travel, sensory deprivation - again, all the usual cast for self-updating any scenario.
in the end, you cant avoid increasing complexity. thats just life in a thermodynamic system buddy boy, and unless you totally drop out in high-quantic existance you just gotta deal with it.
what you can do is pilot your velocity so you can play with the new outcomes of complexity as they manifest around you.
in a drippy kinda way thats what ol' tony robbins goes on about.
thats also what blue planet is showing you - the diversity of a thermodynamic system.
and its also how your parents have remained together all these years.
dont let thermophobia cut you off from a good chance to play at a higher velocity.
all processes hit this point where critical mass is reached - where the complexity of the process comes to outweigh its parameters & structure. there aint no goin' back - a sub-quantic system wont allow it. shards of china dont leap into becoming teacups.
evolution is your ability to adapt to increasing complexity.
entropy is when complexity leads to dissolution. extropy is when complexity leads to unity.
the choice is yours - entropy or extropy, that is the question.
or, of course, you can always marry a man.
i love commenting on your personal life from afar.
way i see it theres complexity and there's complexity, if you're given a choice i'd always chose the extropy version based upon what i perceive and intuit, however we are not always given the luxury of choice, a relationship based upon fear can only lead down the path to entropy, it's use buy date is getting closer unless it mutates, which is a possibility. in most cases it just implodes into hostile words and actions that lead to destruction. In other words there can be beautiful squares, simple shapes, balanced and in harmony, these can exist in cube form to but need to be built from a stable square first.
My point being: Gimmie a stable square baby and I'll give you a beautiful cube.
yes yes i dig.
mutation is unavoidable - whether its hostile/unsustainable/boring or sacred/ecstatic/diversifying depends upon where you are at - what choices you make.
the only choice is whether to choose or not.
to choose or not to choose - that there's the question.
now, why arnt you choosing to choose?
the further up the circuit board you play - the more profound/far-reaching your choices. C1 you get to choose between on and off. C7 you get to choose the variants of infinite manifestations. dig?
things will mutate whether you like it or not - at this level the choice isnt whether you will mutate, but what you will mutate into.
whether your square is stable (good name for a song)is the product of all your non-critical choices leading to the point of candyflip (critical mass).
mutation dont come from nowhere - its the explication of an inplicate process. how you mutate depends on all those little choices you never thought mattered.
controlling that amount of information to pilot every quanta is a big call.
thats where your magick comes in.
stay high
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