old captain mission can feel saturn's return to pisces influence upon his condition. certain strange parameteres seem to attract themselves to my personal space, my choices of freedom and liberty are tested, my normal existence tested by these strange new pressures and expectations. i have to be careful, usually things like this can become overwhelming, after all i am a solo traveller with no shoulder to lean upon, or even talk to sometimes. however all that is required is i meet the challenge with my fluidity and passive force, adapting and hopefully evolving somewhat without to much mutation. not that i am opposed to mutation but i like myself in my current incarnation and what to enjoy that wave for as long as possible. maybe mutations are evolving, it's a tricky semiotic one, and to be brutally honest i am healthy and feeling younger than ever so in the list of priorities that's gotta be top. 

i am very upset to hear two friends of mine are living with  cancer, it's really sad as these are the most beautiful people, and i treasure their friendship although often it's hard to say it, i am grateful i met them and they are in my world. what i love about them is they both accept i am incredibly inconstant in seeing and communication, but when i do we just pick off where we left off and everything flows. that's always a nice part of people i connect with, no need for the small talk, judgements and petty shit, friends are friends. i want to help them both but all i can really do is offer my limited understanding of how to deal with this awful condition. one lives in new zealand and has adopted a very healthy and positive attitude, she has had a double mastectomy and basically loves her cancer. she sustains herself with all the right nutrients and has a very positive outlook, in fact she wants to visit me in march.

my other friend just needs a little shift in lifestyle, i know she can beat this if she can self discipline, she's like me in that way, we both succumb easily to hedonistic escapist strategies and the path of least resistance but my friend has had a very challenging few years, has limited resources and lives a fairly isolated life. i think i would be devastated if anything happened to either of them, so every day i send them energy and healing. 

         

yesterdays catastrophic energy bleeds into today, the bird seed fiasco attracted a horrible stick insect, the gigantic type who just decided to sit outside my front door and pretend he's a stick, imagine my shock as i tried to put him in the garden bin. i leapt up with surprise and ran to the garage where my two afghan builders were painting. 
'jesus christ, i don't really like those stick insects and there's one at my door.'
the boys don't have stick insects in afghanistan so they were curious, 'no they say, it's just a stick.'
they move in to pick it up.

yep, when it moves they to are shocked. one grabs a shovel, 'no, please don't kill it.' 

they look at me as if i am nuts, 'i don't like killing things.'

one of them carefully removes it with a long grabber tool, placing it on the grass opposite my house. 

as he walks back in he says, 'you would never make it in mujahideen.'

i had to laugh, he's right. 

earlier jake had rung me, my dad was unwell and it was quite a big drama, everyone felt helpless and scared. i was reassuring but even i was feeling it. then a friend rang me with her emergency, and then the builders said the type of wood i wanted would not work which threw me into a short lived spasm of broken dreams. the one thing we fish people had is a vision in our minds that can't be actualised, although this could be fixed by thinking outside the box. i need to think outside my box and come up with a solution.

today, a new day i hear from a friend who has been living in tokyo for the last 10 years, we rave on about hawkwind, the state of the world, the northern beaches where we met, the ageing process and the general decline of civilisation as it is overrun by zombies. we disagree on a number of issues but can speak about them respectfully, the sign of a good friendship.

today the builders disappoint me by not turning up, the afghans have a weird attitude when it comes to reliability, communication and commitment but i like them, they are intelligent and we have good conversations. one is now assisting a professor at university, and i am sure in time he will become one himself. he's very knowledgeable about history, very smart. 

so today means i need a plan b. 

 

after the bird seed fiasco this morning i was outside bringing in the bins after the central coast waste management collective had left them sprawling across the street. one has to be grateful they even emptied them, these days it's a 50/50 chance they will empty them at all or just leave them for another week. yeah the rates increase don't actually make a difference to the type of service the rate payer receives. anyway i'm lucky this week, they were emptied. 

as i reposition them and walk towards my front door i see a branch laying on my doormat.

i'd spend some chunk of the morning sweeping my front driveway, picking up debris and getting the entrance cleared so i'm not sure how this lone branch ended up there. as i approach my instincts start screaming, somethings not quite kosher about this. i look closely, the branch has several smaller branches perpendicular to it, they don't seem quite right. instincts screaming louder. 

then i see it for what it is.

a massive stick insect and what the fuck is it doing, eating bird seed outside my front door. my front door that's open. 

i'm okay with sharks, snakes, spider but these stick insects freak me, i have had run in with them before. they are not normal insects, these things are clever terrorists.

fortunately my afghan builders are here, and when i race into the garage asking for help they race out to look. neither has ever seen one before and obviously at first they think it's a stick. 

until it moves.

now fortunately near the door i also keep a big claw device i use to pick things up without having to bend down low, mostly i use it for the pond, removing stuff.  one of the boys grabs it and carefully picks the prehistoric insect up and takes it away across the road while i hide in the garage.

'you would never make it into the mujahideen,' he says as he walks passed.

it's 0430 and i wake up, fully alert and filled with kinetic energy, in fact i make my bed and head down to do some writing. it's extremely dark, there's a huge storm happening outside and it's all a bit gothic as i use my mobile phone to illuminate the pathway through the various books, boxes and things i have accumulated. the only problem is i have switched my phone onto dark mode and without my glasses cannot turn it back. so there i am weaving my way through the obstacle course of mission control, almost at the computer my knee hits a box, and i hear the terrible splatter as the contents spill all over the floor.
i make my way back to the kitchen and flick on the light, which is really what i should have done in the first place. inspecting the spillage i see a massive pile of bird seed. it's everywhere, spread right across the whole back room. 
so here i am vacuuming up bird seed until the vacuum bag is full and makes an unhealthy chunking sound. i fiddle around and realise i need to take it outside and empty it so i disconnect the bag and walk across the floor to the front door. 
it's still dark out there but i make my way to the bins and empty the bag. then when i return inside i see a trail of birdseed that had fallen from the overfilled bag so i have to vacuum the whole place.

it's not even 0500 yet. 

the big explosion loud and ferocious, like a wild atomic devourer, turning matter into dust. the vast human oversoul has fractured, unreliable logic and reason sucked up into the obliterating light. war is coming baby, the zombie apocalypse is here now for all to see. unfortunately most people are zombies and can't see what they are in, what the world has become and where we are heading. 

reality is broken. 

the weekend passes, fast forwards as i look back at it's highs. catching up with val and olga in nudetown was nice, despite getting caught u in some sort of transgender demonstration. 
what are they protesting about? 
they want equal rights.
they have more rights than i do these days.
what do you mean?
i can't fucking go into the girls toilets and take a piss.

ho hum, then we encounter a group of women who all are making a lot of noise.

who are these people?

they are body positive lesbians

what do they want?

they want to be thin.

i guess they could stop eating.

its endless, a parade of people wandering around making noise, shouting, stopping traffic, shouting, playing disco music very loud. 

we slip into the back streets where i find an empty graveyard. silence, we sit and relax, talk and laugh. 

its nice to catch up, val's as productive as ever. we chat about food, music, politics and movies. it's a hot day, we walk through a park and back onto the streets where people in bright outfits dance and shout.

have you ever been into this building?

'no,' i say looking into the big busy structure. it's a market.

indde i like the peace, there's a poster of my fave film which i consider buying. there's a range of second hand books. i pick up two old science fiction novels.

i attempt to pay for them but no one is around.

eventually a man shuffles up to me, he smiles as i pass him the books. he opens the first book, and shows me the price. where i saw $20 he points at the mysterious hidden 2 embedded in between the $ and the second 2. 

oh jesus, i don't want to pay that much. it looks like a very old pulp novel from the 30's or 40's. the second novel is even more expensive yet he has made the first number on the price almost invisible for any customer to see. i walk out bookless, as he yells he would take $80 for them each. 

crazy.

it's been a good sunday, but all this haggling for books, shouting for rights and disco music has exhausted me. 

up all night correcting the mistake on the cover i found myself having to create a brand new cover, perhaps the red makes it somewhat more striking but this time i did get the title correct. 

at the time i posted the first cover i was studying the other yuri, yuri brezhnev whereas my character is yuri besmenov.

anyways mistake corrected thanks to my friend tez who let me know. i must confess i don't like editing, it's something i have no skills at and i can't find anyone to outsource it to. 

there's a kindle edition available as well.

 

'the brain of yuri besmenov' my new novel is available from amazon now.

i'm not sure how i feel about this weather, the surf was out of control this morning, far to huge for me, and messy. it's raining now, wet and quite miserable however it won't last and tomorrow will be better. 
i have time to move around today and after an early morning conversation with a friend i feel motivated and inclined towards some situationist 'detournement' so i may follow the drift and see where it takes me.

a strange thing occurred within my conversation, my friend mentioned she was reading a very obscure book which i happened to be holding in my hand at that exact moment. 

lately these types of coincidences are very frequent, the other night i was playing with my uber eats app. wondering what to order as i had nothing around, i settled upon pizza and was about to order but figured 'pizza' was not going to really help my nutrition requirements so i flipped the idea and thought i would just skip dinner. then there was a knock at the door, lo and behold the pizza delivery man with a massive pizza. i looked at him blankly.

it was the right address but wrong name so i had to send him back, although part of me was wishing i had wanted a few million dollars in unmarked bills.

naftali's peace plan was endorsed by both putin and zelenski, so why did't it work.
america and the uk who were pushing for war blocked it. so when world war 3 breaks out ask yourself who is responsible. the plan was good, it would have worked and every one would have come out a winner but these psychopaths that run the west will stop at nothing for war. you can bet your house it won't be their children fighting on the front lines. 

dawn patrol, surf low, not much wave action, i swim around. there was a huge storm, a mini hurricane hit the coast yesterday and as i watched from inside the garden came alive. all my palms, bamboo, tiger grass and south american plants were dancing, swirling and completely animated, the rain was so heavy but combined with the wind it was formidable. in the distance i could hear sirens, the sound of disasters. the whole experience lasted one hour but it was more rainfall that we have had all year, and the wind was utterly incredible to watch. i am surprised mission control is standing, unscathed. the water this morning was messy, it didn't seem right, maybe i need to give it a few days to settle. i normally don't go out after rain but i was missing my sessions. the sun is back, blue skies and heat, apparently here for a while. 

capitalising upon europe's misfortune america now supplies oil to the continent after successfully blowing up the north stream pipe. yes, and the good old american govt. are charging 3 times the price than russia charged. yeah you have to admire american enterprise, the whole industrial petro, pharma military enterprise has the planet by it's balls. have you seen who gets to rebuild the ukraine, contracts have been signed, no surprises blackrock is there. it's weird how today seymour hersh exposed this in the media as if it was news, most smart individuals knew this a day after the event. what i have generally found is the news is on average a year old. if you follow certain media platforms that are actually reporting news, and offering balance the news is current. i say one year but that's me being generous, in covid we knew exactly what was going on about 2.5 years before the mainstream. 

the issue is as i have always said, attachment to one political side. you have to read both sides, hear the enemy which sometimes (often) turns out to be your ally when conditions and perspectives shift. there is only one truth, neither side has access to it all but some are closer and there are always agendas in almost everything. even yourself. so the more diverse you share perspectives, the closer to truth you can get. always listen to your ideological enemies, always hear a spectrum of opinion and then you can accurately assess the information.

yesterday the president gave his state of the union address, it was by all accounts a disaster. unless you follow the mainstream lies, after all these clowns lie and cheat, they extort and extract whatever $ they can while their multi international companies, friends and investors all clean up. look at the profits made my the petro pharma military industrial complex. and to add even further flames to a fire, the reserve bank lifted interest rates which means if you have your savings in a bank you get to reap the rewards but if you owe money you are fucked. most normal people are in debt. owing on cars, homes or just credit cards. wages have not increased unless you are a politician,  so the song remains the same.

neptune welcomes me with one vast single wave which carries me aloft and onwards through the aperture of the vortex where i am condensed into waveform, then expanded outwards infinitely into existence itself. there is void. a silence of sensory input and out, a glorious frozen moment in zen. then out from the remnants of the wave i burst forth, into the sun, into light itself. 

on the beach a woman watches me, i must appear strange, a solitary man out there at dawn, playing with a hand-fin, exploding into tiny atoms of negative ions and then materialising somewhere close by, a sheath of black hair, a tanned olive body rising into vision. 

it took me a while to find the wave, conditions were not good, a swarth of mess, the washing machine white swirl of turbulent contradictions until i was blessed. i ride to it's inevitable conclusion. 

earth is on the brink of war, humans are trapped by insane leaders who are merely puppets of the nazi's, the black sun rises now in plain sight. most people don't understand the ties biden has to ukraine, victoria nuland and john mccain with the cia overthrew a democratically elected govt and installed a comedian puppet whose masters are nazi's. bidens business interests mean he is literally bankrolling the war lest his dealing become public, but how long will it last?

money is finite. arms are finite.

consider it has been nearly 70 years since german tanks were in russian territory, the tanks germany has given ukrain still have the same insignia. the uk and the usa are at war with russia, only it's the ukraine troops that are fighting. yet because of stupidity, hubris and bad governance all these countries are suffering. because the west invested so heavily in green energy and were dependant upon russian oil, when the pipeline was blown up by the usa, the energy reserves of europe depleted. thus the west can't afford to heats itself while russia sells it's oil to the 'bric's' countries.

the only way forwards for the west under such madmen is war, create the enemy of russia which did nothing but protect itself and you have chaos by design. it's become obvious the dots are connected, covid, the deliberate crashing of economies, the who and wef, together with the twisted agenda of the united nations and we all know how it will end. 

the problem seems to be most of the worlds media and population are sticking their heads under the sands hoping it will just go away. it won't. 

at one second to midnight, only an act of god will stop this madness.

the west has no leaders, no vision, no future. welcome to the apocalypse, it's started a few years ago but i saved you a seat.

there are ways out, exists, some are unhealthy but the most effective is to detach from everything and fight against the pricks. stand up and defend freedom but don't be attached to winning or loosing, it's the cosmic war. know who you are, be true to that.

strangely the more absurd it all becomes the more peace i feel, everything around me is harmonious and rich. i'm only looking forwards to the church's new album, it's been so long to wait but i am very excited and can't wait to play it. steve mentioned it may be the last one, but the church will live forever. they are the pole star of bands, all creatives are guided by their light. long live the church.

i had a few weird dreams, most slip back into the ether, i do remember significant occult ones but over years of dream yoga i have learnt how to filter the letters from the junk mail. last nights sequence was strange but not significant. 

i was watching a netflix show called 1899, my friend agent wilde has been speaking about it for ages and saying how good it is. well it is good but it scarily touched on a number of theme which i picked up early on, somehow i knew the ending. yet i have never seen or spoken to anyone about the ending, and the details of the story line were revealed to me, however i never really formed an idea about them in detail just speculated upon what i would do if i were writing, and lo, behold that was the story. 

as it happens it's good, well worth watching as the themes are massive and it's realised in a very clever way. i don't want to spoil it for you but it's worth watching.

and thus my dreams were similar in style and narrative, a labyrinth of interweaving strangeness.

anyways this morning i was awake at 05 00 hours went looking for comets only to find clouds, not one star in the sky so i consumed a cookie.

i had made a powerful batch and forgotten about them so i plucked on from the fridge and scoffed it. then i forgot about it completely and at 14 00 hours i went to check the surf out. 

it's a beautiful day now, despite the cloudy overcast morning, light burnt through and saved the day.

the beach was packed and the surf messy. i'm spoilt with my dawn swims, the place was heaving. i wandered around and finally found myself in a cafe. i ordered a salad and whoosh!

anyway's the day has been good, i like these lazy days, days where i have no plan and no freaking need. they are like the ultimate relaxation, no stress, no fear, no thoughts and no phone. it's been a while since i stopped and felt the sun upon my skin and just done nothing. on days like these the universe sings to me.

 

again up at dawn, this time i'm sorting out my front garden and the pond which seems to be loosing water. one of my fish died last week and i'm not sure i want to replace it, two is a good number and they seem to get on well without adding any additional fish. at one point i had 5 and i've always felt uneasy about odd numbers when it comes to fish.the plants in the front have gone somewhat feral and require pruning, so many fronds from palms are cluttering up the lawn, it took me a while just to pile them up. anyway's it's beginning to look somewhat better although i can't really get to work until the garage is completed and all the rubbish at the side of the house is removed. these afghan builders are functioning on a different time continuity than me, they are good guys but clearly have a completely different sense of urgency than me.
however the interior is taking shape, it's beginning to look like a new space.

down the beach it is market day and all the usual shmutter on display, i can't stand all that beach style stuff, it's kinda vanilla and basic. not really my cup of tea. the suns out and back home mission control is drenched in golden light streaming direct from heaven. i feel good and ready for the adventure.

late start as i decide to make myself, wait for it...breakfast. yes eggs, toast, avocado and garlic mushrooms.  i brew myself a strong coffee, kick back for an hour and then head towards the beach. the surf is up, it's big today, coming in strong. i'm straight in, mighty session. then at 1030 i have to meet someone for a training session. yes for the last few months i have taken up, boxing.
i love it, the actual impact of hitting something is quite thrilling, a satisfying act as i channel my energy into something that feels violent and therapeutic. an intense feeling as my fist hits the pads. boxing requires physicality, an heightened awareness of the body, correct and precise breathing, intuitive footwork. then there's the mental aspect which means you need to think about your opponents moves. 

the physical aspect exhausts me, it's not enough to just hit the target, you need power and power is something that comes from the bodies psychics. my core is forming, a vortex generator i never could control is now being trained. i am learning the strange engineering in the physical dimension.

after training i am exhausted and parts of me are aching in acute pain but it's good pain, lactic acid burning fat, muscles stretching, synapses sparking into new networks. my body is tuning itself into a powerful form. 

when i finally get home i meet with the builders, we discuss a few things, politics, religion and culture. they have to go to the mosque so we say goodbye and make a plan for next week.

my body aches a bit. i feel great though.

nothing much happening down at the beach this morning, one single wave which was glorious makes it all worthwhile. a handful of people in the surf with me, mostly old folks. after 30 mins i get a coffee and begin reading a new book, i need some sort of novel i can get my teeth into, a good story and fast paced plot to loose myself in. the sun appears occasionally and then will disappear behind the clouds. i have to check out some travel plans today, it's all a bit overwhelming. 

you wake up sudden, after a violent dream

that ninth planet pulls you back right through the screen

realities broken, it's to hard to fix

beggars can't be choosers but rich men get to pick

it's 5am baby i gotta get to the beach

before the sun rise burns down the night

it's 5am baby i must get down to the beach

got to ride those waves and face the light

the streets are all empty, like a vacant door

except the dawn patrol down on the shore

the amniotic nature of water, the loving embrace of neptune daughters

at 5am baby i ride the wave to surrender 

as the first ray of sun reveals its splendour

at 5am baby the currents of time and space

all freeze at the point where fate meets grace.