the tradition is a week of people coming over feeding us, spoiling us and generally hanging out chatting about dad and family and whatever conversation surfaces. so far dad dominates as is appropriate, his adventures in india, his early years in the east end of london and his rise from poverty to the middle classes. of course i am interested in his nature which was exemplary, a star i say, forever getting brighter in my skies. one of the very few people i ever looked up to with respect and mystery. he was an enigma, a very lovable one. i tell stories about my own relationship with him, what he was like as a dad, the things that stuck with me. his love for clint eastwood, how we loved to watch horror movies and once when we connected after a long break we spoke about how horror movies no longer scare us both, we had seen it all and the stories were silly, far to gratuitous and no longer interesting to two old veterans who had seen enough and knew enough to be unshockable. and that evening we installed netflix on my parents tv, dad and i stayed up to watch a film that completely freaked us both out. at the end we ran to the drinks cabinet and downed about a third a bottle of whiskey just to calm our nerves. i forget the name but i'll never forget the look upon our faces as we said goodnight and went to our rooms. i lay wrapped in a quilt and could hear my dad pottering around, he began to mumble and he was saying the prayer he always said every night which basically blessed everyone he had ever met, asking the universe to grant them health and long life.

later a second cousin i have not met begins to tell me about the monarch of england, from the first ones to the present. it's a history lesson that takes 2 hours, and encompasses everything that makes history interesting, madness, the conflict between church and state, the divine kings, the birth of parliament and the genesis the prime minister. a few other people join the audience as my cousin answers all questions and guides us along. later i discover she is a history guide through the whole of great britain. 

my other cousins are equally smart and fun, and i enjoy their company immensely, warm and generous. jake and i laugh along at deni my cousins wife who is a star in the making, all she needs is her own you tube channel, not only a gifted chef, but a master story teller and comedienne. 

most of the people that attend are my brothers friends, they bring food, clean and help mum, they meet me and are obviously somewhat curious and cautiousness. i have no idea what they know of me, (i can imagine) only i am not my brother. some recoil in fear and others engage. it's all surreal but i am grateful they have come to assist my family. one hindu couple have brought us some indian food that i can only describe as the best indian food ever, it's mind blowing. they brought so much we have to give our guests gift bags as they leave, i've never seen anything like it. in the morning i go to make a coffee and the fridge and freezer is stuffed full of indian meals left over. 

everyone drinks whiskey of course, toasting my father, although i stick to tequila. i've been here six days now. i feel okay, philosophical but i miss my dad.  i miss our conversations, his compassion for life, his stories and his mysterious life that i got glimpses at before the door closed. i'm glad he lives within my son, that is very cool to see.