we go to the movies, see the film we stared in, our own movie. at one point the scene is infinite mirrors as we watch ourselves watching ourselves in the same movie, that's when i tear down the screen and you smash the projector and we finally see there is only one screen, and it's not a screen.
all is true, the truth is all that matters and the truth is love. i feel the pain sharp stabbing in my soul, not sure if it's projecting inwards or out but it hurts. i sit with this, there is only ever one event that starts this and a few hours later i have managed to alter the energy so that it's less intense. obviously i need to confirm if my instinct is correct and thus make the call. thankfully my twin speaks the truth and although it is usually very hard to hear or accept i respect that about her.
the pain has left my body although i'm disappointed but mostly in myself for being so fucking sensitive to energy.
i make my peace with it all.
other actions are occurring. interesting how this works. i stand amongst the wreckage of a projector and the shreds of a movie screen, fragmenting illusions.
all i have done for the last year and a half is fight illusions, hers and mine and other people who seem to want to project upon me. it really did destroy me, pure torture intermittent joy when we truly are alone and our mind is not in fear.. i've never cried so many tears or felt so hurt, it's been hell but it's been so worthwhile, she is worthwhile. i'm the door. she was the key, i am the key she the door. everything unlocked and now all that awaits is for us to walk through or close it.
my mind is wandering into my next arrangements, i am indecisive, having a few interesting options now. i can't out-think myself, information happens fast, my processes are kicking in and i am being pulled in two directions, one east one west. both seem appealing. myself, both now immediate.