i meet an old girlfriend for lunch.
she and i have history, she has not seen me in a long long time. she asks me what i am like and if i still have a hectic life. i tell her i never go out much and am basically a workaholic, doing long hours and hardly ever socialising. we have a nice lunch and it's very pleasant to see her again.
the next evening i am in the city with my friend val and olga. we have not seen one another in a long time either, these are my close friends and part of the small group of people i connect with. they are about to go overseas and i know i will miss them. we have just finished a meal and i go to pay the bill but the restaurant does not take credit cards and suggests i walk to an atm machine which i do. 
i step out onto king street the hash cookie kicked in and all i see is a flow of people moving up river in the early darkness of winter time. but there crossing right in front of the doorway is my old friend whom i had lunch with the day before. 
i walk up the street with her attempting to explain that i really was telling the truth when i said i hardly ever go out, and i am very reclusive. she don't buy it.

the man comes fixes the leak, it's a big job, it's expensive so i head away to see my accountant and have lunch with an ex girlfriend. my accounts are fucking desperate, things slide from bad to worse but i spin some numbers and do some fiscal juggling, throw chance to the wind and see what happens. it could be my ruin but i feel it may be a salvation of sorts.
lunch is nice vietnamese vegetables, some green tea. i enjoy the company to be honest, it's been a long time since i saw this girl and she's still kooky and smart. we should never have had a relationship, we were to alike, and it was nuts. like really nuts but wow, we created so many dramas and left so much damage in our wake. now, older wiser we are battle worn and jaded. i should have never had a relationship but we should have gone into business, we worked very well together.
i show her some picture of jake and tell her about my brain injury. she laughs i laugh and i guess we just laugh.
'are you happy,' i ask.
'no.'
'good. i couldn't bear to be unhappy on my own.'
it's a strange old life.

the trees have roots, they penetrate some pipes that carry water, the pipes are copper and cannot defend themselves against nature. water bursts out from the surface, my tropical garden swamped with a new wet look, mosquitos, snakes and crocodiles, slip through all defences  quickly environments transform and i see prehistoric conditions at my front door. 
i have to call a plumber, he says 2pm but comes at 5pm. he charges me for the pleasure of telling me they have to dig up the whole front, maybe pull out trees and adjust my water pressure. 
i sign the line. it's costing a small fortune, a big one to me, but it has to be done. 

endings.
over the last few months i was having liaisons with a new agent, she was in training and doing very well on her assignments. i liked her, despite the poor communication and unpredictable moods and what appeared to be a wobbly domestic situation. the situation between us was good, it seemed to suit us but she decided to end it as she had the chance for a relationship. 
i will call her agent L for want of a better name, we never developed far enough to formalise the arrangement but she was progressing well and i often looked forwards to our adventures. agent L amused me in a strange way, i would have liked to have kept her but her needs for a saviour were not quite in line with my need to save. i just don't save. sometimes i wish i could but that's not my role in this life. 
anyway it's been about a month since she started her 'relationship' and i hope it's working out for her but there is a little void in me that requires filling. i am a poor slave of my own appetites. 
  

confrontations.
anyone who understands the state of play right now is lying through their teeth, allegiances are shifting, aircraft carriers and nuclear subs are an their way as north korea gets ready to take south korea down with it. some where some one will bomb some one else. good guys bad guys, it don't matter now. 
assad fights isis, isis fights everyone who is not isis, russia helps assad, europe wants to fight russia, everyone is someones enemy and something has to give.
the fact is the war was coming as the usa and china are in deep debt. there is no way out after every other developed nation decided qualitative easing was the solution. the only way out is the war machine. it's like the default button for unimaginatively dumb people, and their dumbness knows no border. 
this is going to be a long weekend. 
i have no idea if something will happen but everyone seems to be taking a position, the deck is clear, the pieces are falling in position. i guess we will know on monday. 

left wing politics is so dumb i couldn't possibly support any of it, what a load of morons. unfortunately the right is only marginally better / worse. the centre is unrepresented and these days because university has failed to educate a generation the centre is now the left we are heading for abject misery and repression. once beautiful truths and political ideas were worth fighting for, feminism, sexism, racism ect but these causes have been so dumbed down by the left they are worthless unless your wanting to make some gesture of tokenism. 
a classic example are the useless journalists, let's take nikki savva who has written in the australian for many years, won many awards and is loved by the abc and the followers of barry cassady like clones who think they have an intellectual bone somewhere in their body because they sit on a panel with other morons.
for many many years nikki savva has supported the liberal side of politics. then suddenly she began to start writing outrageous lies about the new prime minister tony abbott. it was sudden and shocked a lot of people, and her words were stained  with a vindictiveness that i found disturbing. not that she was alone, every left wing journalist was after abbott, it was a witch hunt to bring down the man. the man the left had hated for years. sure he's a clown of a man, but he had won an election by a landslide and the people liked him. 
nikki wrote such hateful pieces she was adopted by the left, and she elevated malcolm who was not only leaking to her continually but had his eye on the prize. he wanted to usurp the pm. 
along with the left wing media this happened. abbot was replaced by turnbull who made a nasty speech about abbott and relegated him to the back bench. 
now, because i am an astute political animal i saw the future play out. it is nothing to do with abbott being a better pm, the writing was clearly written upon the wall years before the coup. 
turnbull is an egoist, a man driven by wealth which he has, and power which he had and lost. he wanted to feed that drive and that drive only. he is a man that speaks without saying anything, a very modern politician. 
abbot is a man who not only voluntarily worked as a surf life saver, as a bush fire ranger and had a sense of community value he took the liberal party back from the clinically dead to win by a huge majority. he was a man of the people. he had a mortgage  his wife was a child care worker.
but the left wing are a bunch of immature bubble living fools who not only hated him without cause, they collectively pooled their resources and set out to destroy him, and put MT in the seat.
they had no idea that the public would react unfavourably to MT who  although a politician has no skills at being one. his karma is so visible and it will end in tears for him.
abbott made terrible mistakes, yet he was honest about them, he was inept in front of the camera, he was facing a firing squad from people who hated him, with the same irrationality they hate everything non left wing. hate hate hate, mindless fucking hate. 
exactly the same way they hated trump, hated brexit, hated isreal, hated free speech, hate within a bubble is an interesting energy. 
it always implodes upon it's generators.
the list of mistakes MT has made are far to long to write about, but the biggest one is he will loose the election because he lost his base. he paid 2 million for his prime ministership, he bought his power, abbott at least worked for it. 
nikki sava writes today about blaming abbott for MT's failing in the polls. she write's about abbott everyday, endlessly using him as a scapegoat, she even won a prize for her book claiming abbott had an affair with his political strategist. as usual the book was a complete fabrication, she never bothered to interview the people she accused, nor seek out the story, it was a hatchet job promoted by the left for the left and it became a best seller as it was promoted by the abc as some sort of great revelation. a book of lies nikki savva. you are not a journalist, your a propagandist and the decent thing to do would be to stand up and admits that your husband works for malcolm turnbull and you have used your position to elevate him. 
most australians hate MT.
he won by one seat.
and pretty soon the game will be up for them all.


a word to the left. for a change allow people who have a different view to speak their truth without  dragging them off to the human rights commission or bulling the crap out of them on anti social media or calling them names.
i was once a socialist but now i find them the most sexist, racist  nasty vindictive bunch of people i've ever encountered. socialism now is the fascism i hated as a youth and like a lot of ex socialists i see the hypocrisy clearly.   
and now the chickens are coming home to roost.

under big full moon, watching it rise from the roof of the apartment where me and the people are staying. it's a beautiful evening with a chill in the air, colours are vibrant in the last few moments of crystal dusk, pinks and splendid splash of red, a yellow moon looks down upon the inoculated city. i see the hive from a new perspective, checking out landmarks with my birds eye view we crowd a balcony with red wine, laughter and silliness.
later i eat a big dinner and drink very good wine with the people, oh yeah big night out with tickets to give away. i wander around outside the venue talking to random people, offering two tickets for free. a romantic couple get the gig, rickie lee jones. i am inside the small club, it's filling with jazz cats fast, everyone drinking their drinks and talking like philosophers. i'm wearing black and have my beatnik beard, find a seat around the corner from the be bop stage and tune into some old framed photographs of the cool age. 
i meet some new people, bump into old friends, i am the centre of attention unwanted, it's a crazy night out, rickie lee jones is unwell, she's overdosed on cough syrup, how rock and roll she jokes. she's fighting a cold, her band are very young and accomplished she's okay, not really my cup of tea but you know...
i return to the apartment, have a shower and try to fall asleep in a big room. it's uncomfortable, i can't sleep, tossing and turning around like some sort of fish in it's last throws. 
it's a nightmare. i'm fucking exhausted. 
when i tune out it's deep. float tank deep. 
in the morning we drive to newtown for coffee, it's very nice wandering around like a over tired, over worked, unwashed and dazed jazz butcher. i sneak into a book shop, i eat some sort of hipster breakfast. in glebe now, we drink coffee with a strange man who insists we are invading his personal space as he makes his mobile phone calls, 'it's a fucking cafe man, not a monastery,' i whisper with my inner city edge.
we are heading home now, she drives in and out the lanes, foot down hard like a female steve mcqueen, like a groovy getaway driver. 
everything bleeds out from the day, centrifugal force has sent me to the edge, spinning on my orbit with a shower and my own bed.

finally the sun returns, thankfully i can get through my laundry, sort out the chores that i have been unable to do, it only takes a few hours but wow, it feels good. 
there's been some minor damage from the downpour, gutters need cleaning, mud needs moving from the driveway, some electrics need fixing, the pond is ravaged. i do most of it but the electrics calls for an expert. 
$200 down at least my oven works and apparently some dodgy dangerous wiring has been sorted. 
'jesus i can't believe you have been using this for four years and survived?' 
'guardian angel,' i tell the sparky.

so much rain, i drive through what is like an ocean. the freeway traffic slowed down to a sort of weak pulse. i drive blind, even the tail lights in front are just washed out by the rainfall. torrential is an understatement. 
cars are almost stationary, my module has all comforts, i'm listening to some 'speed of stars' it all makes sense when you have the right soundtrack.
the drive usually takes 40 mins, it took me 110 mins, i usually drive at 120k, i was at a crawl most of the way. once a truck sped past me going the opposite way, a huge wave of water rose out of the bleakness, i couldn't see it clearly, it was just a blur but as it hit my car it sent me into the other lane. i don't know what these truck drivers were doing, thinking they are invincible, making a deadline, it's crazy they pay no heed to conditions. 
when i get to where i am going the driveway is flooded, no access. there's no way i can get to the door unless i have a canoe.
the weather is nuts here at the moment.
later i see on a tv some shots of the north, devastation, whole towns drowned. queensland suffers worst but northern nsw also cops the brunt. it's a hard land, hard country, a massive shark gets thrown out of the ocean onto the streets. imagine that!