i miss my son, he's far away from me and although we skype and call i wonder if he feels close to me or i'm just some irritating adult in his life. he's become very english whereas i became an alien. his star is on the rise while mine is fading, i guess i'd like to be closer but i can't hack the uk although the last two weeks in sydney... i may as well be in england it's rained so much.
jake is a great guy, but i don't think he has time for me these days. that happens don't it? 
as i try to get closer to my own dad my son is distant from me like some strange family constellation, we are all on our orbits.
and while i try to get closer to my dad my mother repels me away from everything with her strange behaviour and madness. i'm on an strange path now, no conjunctions in sight, quite alone and distant from anyone. i'm in a part of the universe where not much light reaches. deep space baby. i'm in deep space.