my dad died two years ago today. it's weird as out of all the people i thought would leave me a sign he would be the one, he was so into ghosts and all that jazz. two years onwards i feel the loss, it's worse these days since when i first found out he had transitioned, he's left a void in my own little world because we enjoyed our conversations and shared a shock at the state humanity had found itself in. he would have been depressed and saddened. anyways it's made me sad he's not here to call or speak to. then again no one really is. i seem to be the last man standing these days.

it rained all day yesterday and i stayed home, just pottering around, my neck seemed to stiffen up and now i'm in considerable pain.  hot cold compress, a large warm scarf, painkillers, weed, i am in terrible pain despite my high threshold. captain pete my friend did some work on me, he is a chiropractor and knew the condition i was suffering from. it helped, as did the anti inflammatory medication my other friend gave me, so i could at least get through the day. the pain was unbearable and agonizing but for a short while it lifted and at least i could sleep a few hours straight through. 

i managed to see a few people on sunday for breakfast which was nice but very painful and at midday just collapsed in front of the tv. i made the mistake of watching the new series 'the exorcist' which lacks the gravity of the film. however the book is exceptional.