time flips and flops like a dying fish but one thing is certain we are all heading into tomorrow and there's no escape. tomorrow looks weirder than today,  it's skies filled with drones, war outside the door, masters and slaves,  puppets and clones, media lies, digital hell, crime determined by criminals, mono- culture, pre- thought crime, and all the usual dystopian cliques. on the other hand it could be crystal blue waters,  perfect waves, pristine architecture not made by human hands, the sounds of silence and peaceful zen like conditions under which man can make love, relax, smoke some natural weed and give praise to jah. 

looking backwards, i must look forwards, i close my eyes and see with my third eye. the karmic wheel is spinning, machinations towards the balance, intricate details in a web of beauty, everything touches everything. i am at the centre of it all. sometimes i ponder the zen koans, what is the sound before anyone hears it, and i answer to myself, it is nothing and everything and then i think does it matter. it's just a trick. i cast my mind into old teachings from the old testament, a book everyone writes off because they are ignorant that it is just one layer of a complex code, only opened by various other keys. in some ways it's a quantum book, operating in holography disguised in a symbolic language. what does it reveal?

it reveals we live in an illusion, a simulation if you like, this world is not real, it's a world of lies. the afterlife is the world of truth. plato's cave states the same thing, as does the matrix. 

it reveals that life does have meaning, it does have a purpose. the separation that begun at the dawn of time must be unified, and that acts of love are the only way to do it. however this love is neither idealistic or romantic, it is not the love of religion but the love of the humble, the kind, the quiet and the caring for all creation. it is not fixated upon ideology or belief, it is practical. love of creation is love of god, and love of god or the universe is absolute love. the universe doesn't care if you are an ant or man, it cares not if you are democrat or republican, it cares not if you are black or white, the universe only cares that you enter a relationship with it and find that love inside yourself that you can sacrifice for the universe. 

what's outside the simulation? god.
we are also part of god but inside the simulation.
only through acts of divinity can the code be transcended.

it's why i don't kill ants.

it's why i don't hate, although i am beginning to understand my own limits, i do fight it.

it's why i strive to love my enemy even though i hold him / her in contempt of their own ignorance. 

and off course i have love for myself, which only comes after solitary communion with the universe. 

strangely i am becoming more social these days despite my strange lack of connection to humans and my own inner tranquility.

without technology i have surfed almost every day, out there in the pristine waters with waves so perfect and powerful i reverted back to my old self. jake arrived and immediately started to rearrange my kitchen, literally throwing out 3 large black garbage bags of stuff. it's kinda painful to watch him going at it as he was quite ruthless but i know it's for the best, a lot of stuff was out of date and now i have room to actually use my kitchen again. down at mission control space is limited, and i have accumulated a lot of junk over the years. 

jake seemed to have slotted in with the locals, now he swims with the rays and sharks at the point i guess you earn that 'honour local' title, my friends have embraced him which is nice and i think Jake likes hanging out at terrible as it's like avalon beach was 30 years ago. i took a well needed break from work so we could have some time, went back yesterday and it was a slight shock, i much rather surf all day however there is a lot to do at mission control, a lot, and at some point i need to arrange a council clean up to take away the junk. 

getting technology back is a blessing and a curse, however i do need it in the long run,  managed to salvage three novels in progress on from the old hard drives but i have yet to verify if they are useable. I also set up my sound system so now it's all 5.1 and I'm looking forwards to playing my the the blu ray from the albert hall comeback tour.

 

the mass psychosis that has taken over the human world is an epidemic of madness we have witnessed before, the witch hunts, the various holocausts and now the weird ideology that has taken over the planet now, moral and spiritual bankruptcy, moral people commit immoral acts,  they are collectively unable to see their own behaviour as irrational because they are within the bubble they create with their own kind and to transgress the bubble is to be cancelled. 

what drives an individual to madness are 'triggers' but mostly psychogenic emotions, fear, anxiety, panic, a flood of various negative emotions.  it spreads like a contagious disease and the only way to escape it is a psychotic break, contrary to popular belief this is not manifested in a complete breakdown, instead it's a reordering of one's entire world. it blends fact and fiction, reality and delusion in a way that alleviates the panic, fear and anxiety.

the result in this psychosis on a society is totalitarianism, you can see it in labour in the uk and australia, you can see it in the green party and those that support them, you can see it clearly in the democrats in the usa, projecting themselves onto everyone who opposes them as they call you a fascist or nazi, completely under a delusion because they are the nazi, they are the fascist. 

fascism is when govt. work hand in hand with corporations, and that's big tech and washington. that's the united nations, the world health org and the economic forum. all pushing for one world global government, and their strange dystopian agenda where we are the cash crop. 

but the sad fact and the truth of it all, we are willing to surrender to them. play into their hands because we are also deluded by our own mind virus.

over the last few decades i have been researching the tides of humanity, the forces that push and pull, connecting the dots from various levels, the first time i ever came across this was richard dawkins when he wrote a book called the selfish gene where towards the conclusion dawkins mentioned the meme as a cultural transmitted entity. the book is written by an evolutionary scientist and i personally do not subscribe to darwinian evolution as the only way humans can evolve. 

then i read howard blooms amazing book, 'the lucifer gene,' which propelled me further towards a kind of freedom. my experiences with the human potential group also gave me mental technology to take responsibility for my own liberation.

then many years later i uncovered through my own experiences a methodology that uses thought technology based upon principles of magick that can liberate a person. the culmination of this was an ayahuscia experience where i was operated upon by three benevolent beings (aliens) who healed me from a recent head trauma (brain damage) and opened up various portals into various dimensions. very similar to magick but more sexier. after all shamanism is magick.

and now i just finished paul levy's book 'wetiko' which is stunning in the fact it uses a native american concept to explain a complex magickal, jungian, shamanic experience of the world and the hidden forces that control it, and us. 

reading this was like the final piece of a jigsaw puzzle, completing a picture for me. there are some intellectual criticisms i can make about the book but that would be pedantic, paul has written a very accessible, non pretentious marvelous book that offers us all an understanding at least. it reads like a pkd novel in some ways and then you realize paul deciphers pkd's own understanding of wetiko, which has many names, (there's even a kabbalistic framework paul writes about) faces and means to get to us. but only through facing wetiko can we free ourselves from it. i hope everyone on earth gets a chance to explore this concept. it may be the only way out for humanity.

and if you want to understand the mind virus on a political level then the last book is gad saad another evolutionary phycologist who wrote this gem of a book and is also a lot of fun to hear speak on his many appearances on you tube.

the church at the enmore

i missed the soundcheck, not sure what happened but from the street it sounded amazing, and then i sat down in my seat, front row, and watched the lights go down, the band walk on and start playing immediately, and here we are, someone's waved a magick wand, maybe i'm in an extra dimensional shift, an alternative earth, a place where the church just played their oldest songs and it felt like you hear them for the first time, so mutated from the originals, enhanced and pulled through a .........................hypnoguage?

these are songs i have heard so many times, on record and often live, old faves, classics from the first four albums. i know these songs intimately, every note and now they have been changed so dramatically sometimes i feel like i'm listening to hawkwind, teadrop explodes, echo and the bunnymen, it's like all my fave bands blended up and channeled through this new band, the church playing old songs but sounding new. it's joyous, it's audacious and intelligent. i have a new fave band, it's the church. i really love this new sound. i really love the way they are playing now, it's no disrespect to previous members or gigs, they all had their time and the music was magnificent and brilliant but right now, right now, it's just new.

   

last weekend

the weekend is over, dead and buried. want to hear about it? read on.
as usual i'm exhausted from hard work, it appears everyone else is on a go slow or work avoidance regime and because they are not accountable to anyone everything is left to me. so after a long, long saturday i drive home feeling like i need 12 weeks in a health spa and a new skinsuit. my face haggard and weary like an old sailor my bones like lead and my fat head just pounding and throbbing like they are demolishing a city somewhere inside. i make it to bed around 9pm and am about to fall asleep. my telephone has had a flat battery all day and it's on the charger near my bed. suddenly it rings.

it's my brother, he's upset i can tell by his voice, he says very slowly and seriously, 'i've got to tell you something.'

my first thought is 'mums dead.'

he says, 'my flats been ransacked. it's been broken into.'

how this is possible i don't really know, it's in a very wealthy established part of london and has security and double locks. it's almost an impossible place to break in to. but whomever did this were professionals. old 'two tier' comrade starmer has just let out a bunch of rapists, sex offenders, robbers and murderers from over crowded prisons in the uk to make room for people who tweet and write anti establishment things online. consequently crime is at an all time high.

anyways they took some stuff that my dad had left us. 

it's not the money or value i was annoyed about but the fact this was my dads passion and joy, something he left for us. i didn't even see it, it was locked away in my brothers apartment, in his attic.

anyways i deal with him, i mean it's just good no one was hurt and the goods they stole are just things, so i help my brother try to get perspective. the forensics arrive and we say goodbye.

i'm missing my dad a lot this week. it's been strange as normally i don't really miss him like this, i want to speak with him, to have a conversation but he's not here. that's hard for me. i just want him to listen. it's frustrating.

sunday i manage to get up at 5am after about 3 hours sleep and drive down to north sydney for a market where i sell some of my books. i make about $50 but meet some nice people. 

a young girl about 16 and her mum. the girl bought my tolkien copies and i gave her some other books as a bonus. we chat a bit about 'the dark materials,' she tells me she's about to leave to join the coast guard in their air division patrolling australia's coasts, i like this girl, she's really nerdy and mature, she's intelligent and has a interesting librarian type of voice. then an old couple come along, very dark skinned the man has weird alien like teeth as if two sets deformed within one another. he's soft spoken in a fractured english but has good language skills just accented, as we discuss good science books and i sell him two books on quantum physics. i discover he is from sri lanka, in the north so i tell him about my trips there, how much i loved it. he said he was a hindu who was exploring buddhism, whereas i said i was more buddhist exploring hinduism when i was there. later a man came along to look at some thrillers and i recommended 'three envelopes' which he bought. it was a beautiful day, i was set up underneath a tree and all these weird flowers fell down upon me and the books, covering the whole spread in a strange surreal layer of blossom. later a japanese lady came to have a look, she offered me a snow pea from a bag of them and i like raw snow peas so i started telling her about my fave xmas lunch which we had once after a night clubbing, a fresh snow pea from my friend james garden. she found it funny that i only had a snow pea for xmas dinner that year. as we spoke i discovered she was a stall holder who made and sold cakes, she was just wandering around having a look at other stalls. we had a chat about baking, i explained how i can't bake very well at all and that i have a fave cake called 'lumberjack cake' which no one has ever heard of but i attempt to bake it and it always comes out different. she looked at me and smiled and said she sells 'lumberjack cake' so i went over and had some off her cake. it was perfect. we discussed the science of baking and art of cooking, obviously i am no scientist, i never measure ingredients and think in ratios, whereas baking requires that mathematical approach unlike cooking which i am good at. i tell her i will choose a book for her and return to my stall. somewhere around me a fight breaks out, i intervene and assist a young japanese family from being attacked by a north shore lawyer type with barbarian tendencies, the family are very grateful and come and shake my hand. 

later the japanese cake lady brings me a cucumber. i offer her ursula le guin's two volume collection of short stories, 'keep them,' i say. and strangely enough she has read and loved le guin's 'left hand of darkness' so we have a chat about that. how weird.

later she brings me a box of lumberjack cake as a gift.

this weekend

the threat of a train strike hangs over me this weekend. i have taken two days leave from work as friday evening the the are playing the opera house and saturday 'the church' are at 'the enmore.'

i am in avoca visiting a friends bakery, he notices the anguish in my face, it's a real possibility i may have to miss both gigs. i've considered driving in, but parking is impossible, plus accommodation is super expensive as the demand is so high.

and then at the final moment i hear the good news.

the the is incredible, matt johnson and his band are a tight outfit, the sound is crisp and clear and they are filming the gig. matt is super talkative something new, last time i saw him he was very introverted. i'm very close to the front, the first half of the gig is the new album 'ensoulment' which is as close to lenord cohen as i;ll see, matt just seems to possess that same gravatas, in a new wave type of sound.

the second set is all the old faves, starting with infected, it's everything you wanna hear, infected, armageddon days, sinking feeling, love is stronger than death, august and september, slow emotion replay, this is the day, heartland, dogs of lust, sweet bird of truth and lonely planet concluding with 'uncertain smile' and 'giant.'

the opera house was packed and everyone was up, dancing and grooving. 

 

 

i finished reading 'everything must go,' by dorian lynskey, a pretty interesting read especially if you're a sci fi nut like me. it catalogues various fears about armageddon from revelation, through to artificial intelligence, and looks at the ideas roots and the journey it has taken to current times. i learnt quite a lot actually reading this book as it was written in a very accessible style and hugely engaging. ironically a hopeful book when you look at human history and all the near misses we have had. there are various left wing tropes that pop up which is fair enough, without them the book would never have found a big publisher so all forgiven and it's certainly nothing major but it does make me wonder how a book about the end has a weird lean to the left. in the same way a review of the christopher nolan batman's films were savaged by the guardian for being...wait for it, to right wing and pro capitalist. sometimes people just need to enjoy a film about a man who dresses like a bat and catches criminals without over thinking. anyways, this is a great book if you consider science fiction as predictive literature, for it all starts in sci fi.

the day fades out, it's a spooky moon, a few ambient clouds huant the dark skies above. i'm heading down the freeway north, back home chatting to my guardian angel, she always guides me in, like a beacon as i ramble on, sometimes i wonder how she tolerates me. anyways when i arrive home my cyberpunk books are awaiting me. i'm happy i managed to get these half price as they are usually quite expensive, you know how it is for book addicts, books before food and all that. well it certainly has been books before bills, i still have telstra on my back for an overdue unpaid phone bill. telstra, the one company i loathe and hold in contempt in australia, apart from political parties and their institutions. actually they all just freaking suck and should be broken up into much smaller, more personable entities. i may be a capitalist but it's gotta have limits. no human should have any more than $5 million in cash, and a further $5 million in assets. any excess needs to be put into cleaning up the oceans, preserving nature and generally being constructive in the arts. i love elon musk and if you're a visionary in your field then they get exemptions, but government bodies do not. if you are a writer or musician that produces a quality result, you get funded to keep going. 'the church' would be funded every year to record albums, play gigs. christopher nolan, denis villeneuve and tarantino can be funded for their movies ect but generally they still only receive as a personal income up to $5 million. 

the problem with the millionaire types these days is they have no imagination, it's the same old boring stuff, day in day out. we all need something to change, some kind of new society. 

i gave my talk, it was okay, i remained polite and did not swear, i didn't want to upset anyone, i figured my presence there probably offended them anyway, 'who is this freak talking about energy fields and pattern recognition, about mind viruses.' anyways i was very mediocre compared to the lady who spoke after me. 

she was excellent, really 'cosmic' almost took over where i left off and sent the audience into deep space with her information about mk ultra, aliens, underground arctic bases, alternative timelines and how to navigate the dimensional shift. also she swore like a trouper. i really enjoyed her stuff, it was engaging, well presented and she's a familiar face from my avalon years. inspired! 

what a strange olde day for a geezer like me. i was exhausted last night, got home around midnight, couldn't sleep o i did some pottering around, at 4am i went to bed and slept 4 hours, then in the morning i took some plants out to catch the rain and sent some e mails, after which i went to the post office to pick up a package. then it was sitting at the computer to finish a lecture i'm doing tonight. it came out of the blue really, apparently they did flyers for it and i'm the last person to know. ha! you gotta laugh.

anyways, i am just going to wing it, i'll extrapolate my third part by throwing in some group work and audience participation, that should keep everyone on their toes while i have a snooze. 

anyways i did a little bit of writing and attempted to tidy up a few piles of books. it really is getting nuts with all these books everywhere.

anyways the stunningly intelligent and beautiful natasha was on a podcast i like 'heretics' which is fascinating and educational although it won't change any jew haters mind at all. i mean you can show someone a circle and they can repeat endlessly no matter what evidence they are presented with, 'it's a square.'

later i watched a documentary about a guy who returned to london after 10 years and couldn't believe what a dump it had become since his absence. i felt like telling him i left in 1988 and could see the signs and everytime i return it just gets worse and worse and no longer even resembles the city i was born into. that's okay sydney is home for me until i win the lottery.

ever since about the age of 20 i never liked the left wing side of the argument, it always stunk of some sort of intellectual elitism, the smug lies and distortions, the incredible hypocrisy, the way they hate the working class. i hate their stupid ideas, their ridiculous spokespeople and their stupid idiot drones who just repeat lies they have heard in their bubble where they cannot tolerate anyone with a different perspective. this little video actually gave me a lot of pleasure, it encapsulates my own argument very well as brendon o'neil one of my fave political commentators and writers hits the nail on the head over and over.

i'm happy trump won, it really gives me hope that the people of america voted for him, kennedy, musk and gabbord. very great individuals and a strong team, endorsed by megyn kelly, joe rogan and a host of podcasters who interviewed them. it was indeed a clever move to get alternative media to access the public because we know the mainstream media is a sham, it's a lie.

anyways watch and learn. 

perfect morning, dawn surfing with waves that reflect all i love about life. i wanted to stay in the water all day but commitments pulled me out. each wave came in at approximately 7 minites from the last but they were the right size and right force, i was lifted up and propelled forwards at speed, my solar plexus radiating yellow light. my mind clear and sharp in crystal lenses, base chakra crimson. the universe was bright, alive and sounding vital as though a terrible darkness and oppressiveness had been lifted.  after about 2 hours i emerged, had coffee with my fellow sons and daughters of neptune and heard a disturbing piece of information.

now i am an open minded guy, i believe in prophecy, i don't believe in prophets, but some guy was claiming today or tomorrow some terrible event will occur in sydney. he showed me a clip of the simpsons, homer tosses a prawn up and it lands on a telephone line. he squirts some cooking oil at it and accidentally falls into an open drain that connects to the gas pipe. suddenly a series of houses blow, then the opera house, then some skyscrapers, then the opera house and then we see australia break off into small islands. my friend claims that certain 'decoders' have translated this to mean that some catastrophic event will happen in sydney today or tomorrow. now i know a few schizophrenics that put together similar random information into some weird coherent pattern so i walk a fine line between what i believe to be true. to me it's bullshit but apparently several other people say the same thing. i will say i am very skeptical. for starters i don't get information from television shows. i love the simpsons, it's gotta be the best thing about tv but the writers are not seeing the actual future, they are very clever and funny but no more psychic than anyone else. what they can do is look at current events, trace patterns and make assumptions based on pattern recognition. this is what they have done in the past. what a lot of people don't know is the writers of the simpsons are mathematicians, scientists and philosophers. which makes them masters of logic, critical thinking and satire.

anyways, in 48 hours we will know but i am putting my $ on things remaining perfect in the emerald city. if you wanna get angry then there's always albo's insane cyber bill which was passed in the early hours of the morning. yeah, the one where if you post anything the govt. say is disinformation it's jail time. all well and good but the biggest source of disinformation is the govt. itself.

listening to the new mix of 'dream harder' which so far is actually much better than the official release, unfortunately it's not on hard copy but that may change as mike scott does tend to put out exceptional boxed sets so there is hope. 'good news' sounds amazing.

today i am out for breakfast with a new friend, i normally never bother with breakfast, coffee my only requirement but maybe i should have something fruity with lots of fibre. these are the strange and crazy things occupying my brain at the crack of dawn. i scrub my teeth, have a shower, get some clean clothes on, ready to roll.

i did notice steve is playing up the coast next year so i better grab a ticket this week, plus invite my new local posse whom i know would dig the experience. it's weird having friends. i'm not used to it. people call me up to check how i am travelling, people smile when i come along, i get invited for xmas dinners, bbq's and other things that i usually never do except alone. anyways that's kinda nice in me olde age to have good people around me. 

chat with jake for a while, he's getting ready to take the leap of faith, brave guy, it would be so easy to hang out doing the same easy thing day in day out but he's making a huge change and moving into the light. it's hard to believe he's 36 years old. fuck that makes me ancient really.

friday- i'm up early, like super early 5am, i potter around, do some reading, writing, watch some you-tube stuff, play some roxy music, then head off in search of a futon mattress to no avail. it rained heavy last night and i'm not certain what the day will become.  the mattress mission is a big fail, i have to give up around 11am and head over to ettalong beach where the ferry brings a friend over. we have a wander around the strange italian complex, do some business and then i drive back home for a little nap. at around 1pm i blast more roxy music, it gets me motivated. after putting something away i sit down for a reading session, which lasts a few more hours than i thought, but the time is 6pm so i have a bath and fall into a luxurious deep delta sleep.

sat- i wake up early again, answer some texts, then smoke a spliff and instantly fall back asleep. when i awaked i grab a water and my pills, and wash them down with some weed oil which then knocks me into the deepest deep sleep i have ever had, it's so deep imagine a black hole being swallowed by another. and in that black hole i discovered the whole off reality is a simulation, possibly within a simulation within a simulation ect. 

yes, and that's all before breakfast. 

for breakfast i actually cook scrambled eggs with a plunger coffee to accompany. it's actually quite satisfying. tasted great anyways. i listen to two podcasts that are political and capture the political simulated reality we have to live in at the moment, precarious. but we have been here many times and if you take that cosmic view (not a simulation)  we have been here longer than history itself. my hope is the normal people of the planet just wake up and see what's going down, i don't think starmer will last, i think he will cave in, the public hate him, he's fucked up, he's failed after a few months. 

anyways in the usa, anything could happen, i hope trump makes it past that line. i want him to, a lot of people will be able to breath out a lot of anxiety. my thoughts are the nazis, the real fucking ones, will stop at nothing to get him out the picture. i think it's very cool rfk and elon are attached to him, not to mention tulsi gabbard who is a very smart cookie herself.

in australia - ah one day it's fine the next it's not. i like the sun, the beach and a nice wave. that's when i am in my happy spot everything else complicates things!

i once met a girl in a club whom tried to convince me 'tool' were the most important band ever. my girlfriend marie and her were in deep conversation and they suggested we go outside to her car to smoke a joint and listen to a cd of tool. i was off my chops on an e so i was quite happy to tag along, although i knew tool were not really my kinda band.  in those days the city was safe, it had a friendly vibe and everyone had their defences down, you could talk to strangers, it was a good period. live music flourished, sydney was like a 24 hour city and at 1am the streets were crowded and pulsing with people. as we walked up oxford street about seven people stopped to chat with us, i looked good in those days, slim, healthy, kinda kooky and wild. i guess youth has it's advantages, the women seemed to like me.

in the car i skinned up while marie and her friend were in some sort of deep conversation, marie attempting to engage me in discussion as we were explained about tools lyrics, everything from dmt to child abuse. well in theory they sounded interesting but when she slipped a cd into the tray and hit play a horrible noise interrupted my peace. fuck me, what an awful noise, that wretched heavy metal treated guitar with an awful screeching vocals i could never understand without a lyric sheet. awful, my whole body tensed up, meanwhile the girls seemed to be getting along very well. 

i don't know, this type of music does not work for me. i mean in theory i dig it, yeah an out there kinda band doing risque tunes about heavy duty issues. it's all culture but i guess when i hear this type of music it makes me appreciate the music i like even more. 

anyways i smoked my spliff, on an eccy high with two stunning girls who were getting on in an intimate way at the back of the car and i stared out the window (occasionally in the rearview mirror) and although the music grated my nerves i felt okay, you know, it was a different time period, people wandered by on the street, lots of strange sydney siders at 3am either on their way home or looking for the next thrill. everything was good, except that awful racket 'tool' made.

 exhausted, obliterated and feeling very frail after my last stint at work, i finally have a few days to myself, i really need a long break but will have to wait until next year. for the moment i am just home-bound, which suits me. the weather is perfect so i head out to the beach for an early morning peek, the ocean is lovely, i've missed it. the day blooms into productivity, i potter around doing various chores, paying bills, writing letters and doing laundry, all the boring stuff while listening to 'tears for fears' new album. yes, not rock and roll but very good and under rated, i've always had a soft spot for them as they are actually interesting song writers. 
there's no doubt, the weariness is in my bones. i'm fighting a virus, building up immunity, attempting to get my body ready for boxing next week. fighting fit.

  

my last day to myself, it's been wonderful although i've run out of available cash and i feel like my throat has swallowed a cheap packet of sandpaper, never mind, it gives my vocals a sexy deep heroic vibe. the rain last night arrived later than i thought, it was heavy but not enough to spoil this mornings surf. the water is clean and pumping along nicely. i slept deep last night thanks to my cbd gummies, wow, the sleep of a king, and dreams to match, i can't recall them at all but i know they were wild. a lot of unfinished conversations but the rest is all a bit hazy.

mission control is still cluttered and needs a clear out but i am getting there and it is clean. i've started to read another non fiction doorstopper that's keeping me amused and educating me in all matter of things apocalyptic.  it's a shame dads not around, he would have loved chatting about this stuff. apart from that i started watching a show called 'the romeo section' about spycraft, it's quite good but not quite 'berlin station.'

i did have a small conversation with mum who has just been released from hospital, it was very tricky as she wasn't making much sense and i may need to call again later when she is more relaxed. we don't know if it's serious or she's being dramatic but i wanna stay on top of it as best i can from afar. i'll give her a few days recovery and check in early next week. i don't know but at this point in time i just want to stay alive a bit longer. i feel exhausted from life but also in its thrall as new people are popping into it. things could get interesting again. 

a well rested captain mission heads down to terrible beach, the surf is beautiful, i meet some locals and we end up drinking coffee talking about various exploits and our adventures. i must admit the sun was glorious today, it was soul nurturing and after several hours i began to feel so much better it must be the vitamin d, it has totally recharged my battery. we all laughed and drunk out tumeric coconut lattes while an array of people passed us by, some joined us for a chat and others just smiled at this diverse group of locals, a motley crew basking in the sun.

i was tempted to enter the ocean today but i held off and will go for a surf tomorrow, either before boxing or after. if the day is splendid as today has been i will just hang out there all day, i mean fuck it, why pay hundreds of dollars to travel somewhere hot with a nice beach when there's one right outside my front door.  

 i feel a bit run down so a week off to recharge is in order but today i hauled myself out of bed early as i had no food, had to go to the post office and pay a bill, and pick up a package and then to the chemist to pick up my medication and finally to buy some groceries. i don't like to take time off work but i feel so exhausted i have to prioritize my own health first and this week i will nurture myself. i made a huge pot of soup and settled down to catch up on a few things but my internet was down so that required a fix that took most of the day. ah technology and me, we just don't seem to be friends. 

in the late afternoon the sun came out and the birds started chirping again, i saw a huge blue tongue lizard in my garden, it was really big. at some point i need to plant my cactus-henge which will have to be later in the week, and i do need to arrange some weeding but for the moment i'm happy just to get cozy, watch some tv shows and read my book.

back into the grind, long hours and not much sleep. the old bones rattle and creak. my teeth are missing, my head throbs with the visual mix of a work environment, a home environment, the beach and the road, that endless road that takes me there and back. i feel like i need a break from it all but i can't take one right now. 

however i have just finished the coming storm by gabriel gatehouse a journalist for the bbc.

before i start, let me just acknowledge how much i despise the bbc and all the idiots who think they are serious journalists and yet work for it. i stopped watching and taking notice of it in 1989 when i began to see how manipulative an organisation it was and what propaganda it promoted. i was a silent minority that is currently quite a large proportion of switched on political animals who regard the bbc as nothing more than a propaganda arm of the establishment. not even the british establishment but the globalist one. having said that i occasionally dive in just to see what the enemy is doing,  and i usually find my decisions are enforced by the biased and myopic views of what i call activism disguised as journalism.

the coming storm is a look at some of the far right conspiracy theories in the fringes of the usa, and now possibly in the majority of the population, although by a slim margin. the main conspiracy revolves around the usual anti trump stance taken by the bbc, and gabriel begins looking at the clintons. initially i figured this may be the exception to the rule where he begins to notice certain annomoles ignored by the mainstream media. he delves into various far right thinkers and writers, some are not far right at all but it seems to be his mindset that anyone outside the bbc's world view is an extreme far right fascist. in parts there are sympathetic elements, he acknowledges certain failures of the clinton obama and biden years, but predominantly the spotlight is upon trumps failings and the people around him. fair enough, but as the book progresses the topics he tends to cover remain inconclusive because the truth takes place over time, and this book only covers up until early 2024 before the linkage of pedophilie rings that extend from hollywood into washington. the book should have been pulped and republished in early 2015 because by now all those conspiracy theories are coming together as truth. the hunter/ biden laptop, the weaponization of lawfare against political enemies, the capturing of global media working with big tech, the insurgency being a staged coup by the cia and the fact sovereignty is now a huge political issue.

i didn't mind reading the book, it's good in parts and interesting but it really leaves out important facets and others remain unfinished. it's not the writers fault but the publisher, the bbc. 
the most fascinating chapter is the last where gabriel looks at the chat gpt next gen open ai which is known as Q!
in conclusion i have to agree with his last line that concludes the book.
'buckle up.'

the king in yellow

 

fuck me, i have a day off. rejoice. 

i wish the weather was better but nonetheless i am grateful to just have some time to breathe. it's been draining my batteries, not just work but the dramas around it. and on top of all the drama there's a weird issue i have with all the technology at work, 3 computers that would not work, meetings on the run and very important information being wiped by a computer upgrade. 

anyways the only way out is through so i enter the furnace and walk out the other side stronger. i have been a tolerant man but there are limits to my tolerance. 

at the end of it all i proved myself correct, i nailed this problem a long time ago and then took a back seat collecting evidence and gathering intelligence because eventually the situation would reveal itself for all to see. and it did, and now i am vindicated. 

so yesterday was exhausting.

now i move forwards.

i find myself doing something weird this morning, eating egg salad. i eat a load of it and then at dinner tonight i am so ull i just sip on a glass of water watching everyone else eat their meals. it's nice, a bunch of open minded people gathering once a month to swap information, i hear about a few interesting things, a court case in the usa where a county wins a legal battle to remove fluoride from their drinking water,  i learn about the dangers of 5g radio towers and nutritional values of certain vegetables and fruit. eat organic or perish. anyways the evening is great, catching up with my morning pals and making new acquaintances, particularly a guy who may help me make 'gummies' and we have the same passion for music as well. the church, nick cave and the the. i'm looking forwards to learning more about cooking and gardening from this man, he's very switched on, a kiwi masterchef, maybe i can finetune my baking skills.

she is hekate, the empress, the diviner and receiver of knowledge,  the feminine principle in action radiating from her throne of aquamarine,  turquoise and emeraldine. feminine and priestly, the witches witch, the truth and the Truth, she is the mistress of magick, the seer of souls, the wand and the wave, the holy baby long gone, adoration and devotion, the essence of the spell caster, she is divine intuition, thou shall have no other goddesses before me. before me only you. after me only you. that is the way of the way, and so it is.

you may not know me, it is forbidden. this was carved in stone upon my birth, the cosmic principle has ordained me with great utility, the heavens unto the earth. the great symbol, the holy key of knowing, while you have the implications of not. i surf the cosmic freeways but have no place to go so i contemplate upon my throne, the divine manifestation of light. the planets sing my name, in orbits immortality ordained, thou shalt not, decay. thou shalt have the power cosmic and ride the waves through galactoseismology and intuitions name. so it is.

one drama follows another fortunately i'm empowered by some lunar force in pisces at the moment and i seem to come up smelling like roses. 

in fact the ocean has been giving me some gifts, dolphins swim close to the shoreline, hundreds of them swimming at terrible, it's quite something and the are whales further out, breaching and blowing massive water spouts. it's strange to see the wildlife so close to the shore. crowds stop to watch. i bump into a friend who says she was out by goldie (the 1k bouy) locals swim to when she saw loads of port jackson sharks swim past. then another friend wraps herself in flowers washed up by the ocean, they are gorgeous, bright red sea flowers. she kneels down and is crowned by neptune, a mermaid indeed. the water is cold but after the initial shock it's really quite pleasant and refreshing. no waves though.

i attend a boxing session that leaves me exhausted, my limbs ache but i do love it. the sun fades away after such a beautiful taste of spring, a change is heading my way, clouds rolling in, rain is in the air. time to batten down the hatches.

everything connects up, dots and dashes, zeroes and ones. man and woman, fate and destiny. all things converge at some sort of omega point. the only thing that separates it is space and time, so these things are really one, you and i are the same thing, we just think we are separated. the best way for two people to become one is through sexual means. 

my own relationship to sex is a sort of yogic tantra union, there needs to be some bridge built between the female partner and myself, and obviously it's a sliding scale from, base level to crown. but when there's an opportunity to align i see it as my cosmic duty. intercourse is connecting, sex is mind and heart expansion, man and woman equals union, two cells wanting to subdivide into a third. 

the sex act, connects the dots. ultimately we connect. one way or another, the long way or the short way, everyone will connect. however conscious connection makes things interesting. 

im a tantric druid these days.

strangely sociable this last week, sees me chatting with a few people, anyone that will listen really. i talk to a whole bunch of people, i talk about anything, my words pour forth like rain falling here and there. i chat with a lovely english lady who likes wrestling, she's a sort of old skool punk and i like her style, i chat to a chef i meet in the markets, we talk about music and bands, he likes my the the tee shirt. he's an interesting cat but i never really get a chance to finish our conversations. i speak to a few other people, so much talking, so many people, i do more socializing this weekend than ever and now i'm talked out. i get home and swallow loads of cbd oil, i eat a few cookies and suck on a few gummies. when i fall asleep it's fast and deep. i awake feeling great. 

my next big thing is to get rid of my old sofa which i do, it's found a home in lightening ridge so now there's a big space where it used to live, and on wednesday this week, i pick up some new furnishings for mission control. amazing stuff, that will transform the place, so i'm kinda excited about that. mmm, those gummies are addictive. 

 

yesterday i read a report commissioned by an english team of data experts and information analysts and a lawyer looking at the bbc's coverage of the middle east war with hamas. the report basically said the bbc is a propaganda machine for hamas against israel. it listed over one and a half thousand reports where the bbc lied to it's viewers and stated most of the reporters were pro hamas or had affiliation to hamas. 

this really is no surprise for me, two decades ago a similar report, the balen report, was published but the bbc spent one and a half million pounds to keep it from being seen. that's tax payers money. the bbc have a history of pushing propaganda, unless you are a nut job whom agrees with their ideology of global govt. climate change, brexit, immigration, israel, it's all endorsed by the united nations and the push to de-legitimatize any sovereign nation, especially the only jewish one. why? 

because the pact the united nations has made being a marxist ideology is with political islam, a marxist theocracy. 

propaganda and inverse mirror truth is the weapon used. many people say they think everything is reversed, the good guys are the bad guys, the bad the good. women are now male, males now women ect. yet they fail to apply the same standard to israel, a place which is more democratic than their own country. the elections there are proportional representation, therefore the pm attempted to make deals with the left who rejected his offers and he was forced into a deal with the right side. the fault again lays with the left who are incapable of compromise, even in israel. 

the bbc and it's proxies are to blame for the levels of antisemitism, pushing lies and distorting truths, they have participated in advancing a real terrorist fascist ideology against a reasonable one of a jewish homeland. only people who have never lived or visited israel have warped weird ideas about it, i think most people would be shocked at how amazing the place is. people that push diversity, equity and inclusion should really use israel as a template.  maybe they are just jealous after all, that such a small country with a real minority population could succeed whereas they have failed. 

i'll always support israel, it's far from perfect but it's a fucking brilliant country. it's not a religious brilliance, it's a societal secular one. it's intelligent and reflects a well thought out society in a middle of a hellish scenario.  that tension makes it creative and vibrant. any artist worth their salt would place themselves in it's center, tel aviv, a city so wild expression comes in all forms. fuck the bbc, it's orwell's inspiration for 1984 and now we should all know why.

william holloway's compilation of writers short stories form a mosaic based around an update of the hp lovecraft mythos. and they are surprisingly good. each book contains four or five stories, different characters, different environments, different countries and cultures but all dealing with the aftermath of an apocalyptic event. very good, very creepy, well written and somewhat surprising. 
 

up bright and early, laundry garden and bed needs attention and i'm time short this week, just gotta manage time like an interdimensional pattern juggler in a nexus of cross currents. it's all happening. down the ocean and the mirror sea is made from a glass frozen in time, nothing moves. so i end up getting more cbd oil, drinking coffee with a few familiar faces talking about fasting. yes you heard that correct, olde captain mission is going to attempt a fast. my current routine is i don't eat after 20 00 and then in the morning i have a tumeric latte but no food until about 13 00.

all i need to do is between 13 00 and 20 00 is drink a few lemon waters, maybe allow myself some nuts and just focus on something other than eating. it's only 24 hours, no time really.

i've incorporated stretching into my training regime, this is all coming together. stretching, breathing, feet movement, punching, and hips, everything flows. years of bad habits are being broken up and rewired. it feels good to finally be breaking through. i've avoided all sugars and all toxins for about 1 month straight. it's making a difference, and no i only eat organic food i can feel the difference in so many ways. i do like my milk and will drink coconut milk in coffee, or unhomogenised full cream milk. i only have it in coffee nothing else. 

so here we are ready to roll and rock into the day, firing on all cylinders. makes a nice change. 

this morning after boxing i threw myself into the pacific just for a thrill. the first micro second of ice cold submergence passes like a fleeting kiss, replaced by the warm embrace of a familiar lover, last nights tension dissipates into some sort or transmuted alchemy and pleasure. everything awakened, energy centers, third eye, the whole central nervous system electrified.

i throw myself into the deep, the crystal waters clear and calm, the sky cold blue but the weather is perfect, like summer. i am alive here, alive and kicking, or at least punching.

later i have to drive straight to work, stopping off at home to arrange some money stuff for two friends. i drive south into the world while tuned out. everything is good when i have my surfs, anything can be dealt with.

rfk and tulsi gabbord join forces with trump, and suddenly there is hope. when you hear them talk about health, about food about soil and air, when you hear them speak out against big pharma, the war machine, corruption and complicity. it's not that namby pamby obama hope, that 'yes we can' lie, this is real hope about something real. not from politicians and manipulators but from really switched on people who know the facts. yeah hope smells great as i drive along the freeway. 

 second surf, still no waves but the water is clean and fresh and with just enough cold to kick start the day. i love it. sun, blue skies, as i invoke neptune, gratitude, open and emanating. .

i've been experimenting with various cbd oils, mild to very strong, found a very strong one that suits me. it's so strange that such a plant is illegal, in my humble opinion all politicians should smoke or inject this holy herb although the current lot are brainwashed and already enslaved to their agendas. anyways what do i know, it's all an illusion, i should try to detach from these things,  politics ect. the fall will come and then the rise, that's the tidal flow of humanity, never really learning the patterns of history doomed to repeat it. i get more satisfaction, answers and joy from the sun, the moon, the stars and the oceans. oh. and girls.  

 the water looked so clean and inviting, i know it was cold but i figured what the hell and threw myself in. it was not as cold as i anticipated and immediately i acclimated, feeling the clear cool water overwhelm me, my energy centres activated and my whole body turned on. no waves but it was my first swim in a long time setting the pattern for the next few seasons. even though it was a short session this morning i had a taste and want more. after a colder shower i sat in the sun and dried, perfect, the sun blessed me with heat and good vibrations. everything begins now. 

it's market day on the coast, so i loiter down the road and peruse the crowded stalls, nibbling on organic mushrooms, apples, tasting samples and basically having a free breakfast. i talk to a cbd oil maker about our love of cannabis with thc, and we talk about the availability of various psychedelic mushrooms for clinical treatments.  i bump into a few locals and we exchange stories over coffee, i meet a guy who says he can get me a lions mane growing kit, i pick up some organic pumpkin, some spelt bread and some blueberry organic jam. that will do me as i head back home, all before 8am.

my plan was to head off to avoca markets but the sprinkle of rain makes me just wanna go home, light a fire and read however when i get home my motivation seems to leave and i slide into a strange state of inertia which i shake of by smoking a joint. there's a lot to do, as usual domestic issues take a lead. the joys of being alone means you are responsible for everything, down to taking out garbage to shopping, paying bills, laundry and generally keeping yourself amused.

the shopping mall is a nightmare, i'm in and out, all i need is milk and to pick up something from the chemist. as usual at the chemist there's an issue with my account. fucking heart medicine! 
ever since my jab the pharmaceutical model has invaded my space, it's been awful and the war is on many fronts. fighting with doctors, chemists and the medication itself. i would love to be free from their tendrils. 
when i finally get home around 11am i get a message to meet at a friends for lunch, well that sounds nice, at least i can practice my social skills. 

spring is weeks away, soon i will return to neptune. my mission is to surf everyday until the water gets to cold sometimes midway through next year. i will continue my training but this will supplement the HIT i am doing.

this morning i watched the surf, it was wild and unruly, chaos and not very friendly at all. the actual weather was amazing, very warm, blue skies and almost like spring had arrived. i couldn't believe how warm it was as i sat in the sun, reading my hp lovecraft themed book, 'the abyssal plain.' 

plato said 'faulty thinking brings misery,' and nowhere do you see this clearer than in kamila harris who made a ridiculous speech yesterday about price gouging and the govt. control of price commodities. i know, she's your fave but seriously, anyone can really see she is an idiot. her party are obviously dumb and prove themselves incompetent and corrupt. these people do not represent normal people.

the idea of the communist method of correcting the economy would apply if humans were ants. it's very chinese. but humans are unique individuals, and the market controls prices via supply and demand. the fact four years ago everything was cheaper says a lot about her party, they have been in power and certainly could control the economics, but they chose to print more money thus creating the inflation which drives up prices. it's freaking obvious and you don't need to be an economics student to know this.

the other crazy thing she said, i know there's heaps to choose from but this slipped under the radar was her policy about giving new homeowners an incentive of $30000 to invest in a new home. lovely idea in theory but the reality is, sellers just increase the value of their homes by $30000. 

i've attempted to be impartial and make clear objective decisions about her but the verdict is in, she's stupid and that makes her dangerous. trump at least has a sense of humor and despite media reports, is very intelligent. he just doesn't dress it up in bullshit newspeak. yep, he's no slick talker but he's my main man in the political game.

in the evening i do some clandestine stuff with a group of people, i was asked to talk to. wow, it was amazing, meeting switched on people who know what's going down. they also know how to navigate it so my learning curve is growing. 

it's unusual for me to read female writers, i'm usually disappointed by most of them, possibly as they write like females and it's obvious whereas silva moreno garcia is blowing my mind with her dark tale of two friends in 90's mexico city who come across a old washed up horror film director and a story about a possessed film that was left unfinished financed by a nazi occultist. 

here's a writer that knows it's horror movies, knows the occult and it's weird practitioners, here's a writer who develops real characters, flawed and believable. silvia has written an extraordinary book. it's riveting and filled with homage to a  sub genre of film history. 

the only criticism is the magick system at work within it needed more development although the magick is accurate in most parts there's a degree of fiction which was unnecessary. i guess i don't think of magick as electrical energy although the analogy has been made before.

all things settle, an equilibrium presides within my self. 

there is no self, i hear you say. 

in my selves then. 

i walked through the graveyard and watch the shadows, i wander through metal sculptures, i meander through the clock faces of when and i divine the peace within the peace within.

 

boxing this morning, i break through more barriers and boundaries, i learn how to move on my feet, i get it but it takes a little time, all the injuries and glitches in my alignment are being repaired, i'm getting flow again. it's been a long time since i have felt this fluid. there are so many components to boxing, breathing, posture, movement, of the hips, feet and fists, power, speed and elasticity. over the last few sessions i have learnt how to breathe, adaptation is the key, changing rhythm and being aware of opportunity. pushing air deep inside, releasing in precision with impact. then there's posture. i am learning about stance, elegance and coordination, it's resulting power, how to jab, cross, upper, hook like a machine. i finish and walk out feeling stronger, lighter and physically a much better version of myself. i'm really looking forwards to a slight rise in ocean temperature when i can start surfing again, combined with boxing i'll be on top of my game. 

 i pop in for dinner at some friends, andrew and monique, they have invited me over to their groovy pad the next beach along. i have been there once during the daylight a week ago, to pick up firewood. but at night google maps has misdirected me, i'm close but driving around through very narrow side streets in the pouring rain. eventually i get there, two minites late. i didn't know what to bring, wine or weed so i brought both. 

now this is a very cool home, it's multileveled in the bush, overlooking a panoramic view of avoca. the ouse is perfect, huge great big rooms, adorned with large art pieces and sculptures, there's a lot of space and a huge balcony. 

we grab some umbrellas and have a bbq in the rain. well we actually just cook food on the bbq, we eat it around a very elegant table where we swap stories. politics, art, ufo's and aliens, shamanics and law. it's a fantastic evening, i can feel the hash cookie i'd taken this afternoon kicking in, and i only licked the spoon, not even had a bite. this is a fresh batch and i think they will be very good, however i have to test them. 

we listen to some live jazz in the lounge room, yeah live. and then we have affragattos.

the food was perfect, i loved it all. what a gorgeous feast, and gorgeous company. these people are very cool, and they have done a great job raising their very talented and sound kids. 

i drive home, it's still raining, the foggy roads, the headlamps hit the wild bush, it shimmers and pulses with life and vitality after rain, and i see everything is alive and growing, nature is winning here, it feeds my soul and makes me happy.

my training seems to be kicking through some boundaries, self imposed limits i put on my physicality and how hard i train. now i seem to smash through pain thresholds easy enough, my body is aligning, those old hips swinging all the breakages and fractures are melding in as normal and strengthening my skeleton,  my punches are powerful and fast, i train hard. this in turn effects diet which is now pretty healthy and nutrition based, kinda functional. my sleeping patterns are erratic but i get enough sleep to repair damage to tissue and restore my needs. my mind is sharpening again. is this healing? i dunno, it's whatever it is. 

 i was reading a book and came across this very nice description of a labyrinth.
years ago i studied labyrinths and understood them in an intuitive level but never did i come across a description as eloquent as this.

a labyrinth is not a maze, it is a journey. you begin by facing your desire, whether it is to find yourself, jerusalem, or enlightenment, and you follow a path of knowledge. once committed you cannot leave that path. sometimes it is direct and your destination is clear before you. at other times it leads you to the side, and this is a time for reflection and discovery of wider perspectives. sometimes that is a dark night of the soul, a time of severe testing when you closest companion is despair. but always the path of the labyrinth turns again. it approaches the point from which you began, but it is a new point and a new departure. and eventually by being persistent you will find your way to your hearts desire.

 

 

I asked my father I said, Father change my name The one I'm using now it's covered up With fear and filth and cowardice and shame Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Back to me, back to me He said, I locked you in this body I meant it as a kind of trial You can use it as a weapon Or to make some woman smile Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Then let me start again, I cried Let me start again I want a face that's fair this time I want a spirit that is calm Like the spirit of this song May it rise up pure and free Let it be a shield for you A shield against the enemy Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me

in the wars as i continue on with the boxing, my shoulder now partly recovered but a sharp nerve under my shoulder begins to send incredible messages of pain through my upper body. being somewhat stoic when it comes to pain, i manage to breathe through it, transmuting the knife edge sensation into a dull throb, i jab, punch, hook and upper cut my way through the session. steady as she goes, i finish up feeling better than when i walked in. tomorrow i'm going to train harder. 

boxing is moved into a new realm for me, i've got the punches under control, i can use force and use my feet to shuffle into correct stances. i can breathe correctly, it's become easier and now i'm learning how to swing my hips. this is an area that may have been blocked and as i become conscious of the movement my punches improve, the power increases. 

yeah, i gotta go harder, faster, stronger now, stamina is the name of the game. pushing through pain, into new realms, there is only the body as the machine, synchronized and  harmonized, i punch therefore i am. no thoughts, just some weird instinct, the killer in me, is the killer in you. i'm letting it free now, it does not rule me, but it is there, a lean mean fighting machine. fists of fury, legs of steel, sway those hips and breathe deep baby.

i've embraced my own limits, broken the rules, i've gone further than i thought i could and it feels good.

 

not often i come across a real page turner written by a female writer but age of vice is fucking brilliant. amazing story, amazing writing. i love the style it's hard boiled chandler-like but set in the new indian century, where the crime families compete with one another on godfather like levels, where the characters are totally 4 dimensional. lots of food for thought as the 'age of vice' acknowledges the kali yuga and all the chaos it brings. so far, it's the book of the year. 

dawn at the beach, i'm always here in the golden pathway, soaking up the light, feeling the energy as it glimmers across the water to my feet. my states are deep, deep and directed inwards, my body warming up as i meet the sun.
before me a crystalline sheen of water, a stillness upon the surface deep, the ocean has a calm surface, gentle mirrored reflector, a malkuth reflecting kether. i sleep inwards my journey begins with each breath as my body begins to absorb the solar fields.

and much later i'm doing my morning training, jumping up on rocks, overloaded with energy and enthusiasm. 'slow down,' the trainer says, 'slow down.'

but i can't, i've overdosed on sunlight, my batteries are ripe, i'm an energizer, just keep going, until i slip. 

for a moment i almost defy gravity, floating through the air over the massive rock, i twist my shoulder inwards so that my face won't impact and in that slight twist, i hit the ground. 

i jump up but somethings is wrong, my shoulder is hurting bad, it's probably broken, there are bruises all down my backside and leg. black and blue. 

i finish the session blocking all pain, and then it sinks in. 

painkillers, my shoulder goes numb. i get through the days, my threshold is high. my enthusiasm has not diminished. there's always ways to block pain and my energy is divine.

 

 

 

it was very easy to predict the assassination attempt upon trump today, i called it about one year ago suggesting if they can't win by lawfare they will up the ante to a bullet and thus the bullet that skimmed his head as he led a rally in pennsylvania today is the shot that wins trump the election unanimously, because it missed. the probability is it was a warning shot, however my take upon trump is every obstacle just determines his moves. he's got nothing to lose.

the biden / obama administration on the other hand have everything to lose, they have as the left always does, overplayed their hand. trump is not the worlds answer to its current problems but he is the best option we have at the moment, a far better option than the status quo whom everyday prove their ineptitude and shadowy agendas. trump's first term was naive, he was generous to his adversaries because he had respect for the office, a traditionalist in the true american terminology. this time he knows not only who the enemy is, he knows where the bodies are buried and he will go for them. 

that's why i'd say the bullet was not a warning but a genuine attempt to remove him from the game. let's be honest, it's not the democrats alone that are part of the deep state, it's also half the republican party. most of trump's inner circle are in jail, the legal teams that attempt to defend him, his advisers and confidantes have all been subjected to a form of cancelling or incarceration, and trump himself has been charged for a crime that bden himself did as vice president, only the judge under biden said president biden was far to senile to send to jail, and was therefore never charged. biden was vice president when he removed the documents, trump was president. trump had clearance being chief but biden didn't. lawfare, is the early stage of warfare. you can see where this is going?

an unusual look at an artist, '50 visions' is really great, offering a good insight into the creative process of kate and the kind of person she is. i really enjoyed reading this, full of interesting information and moments, along with several interviews, tom doyle has a very healthy respect for his subject, obviously a fan and a music nut. it's not detailed, nor is it a chore to read, just very short chapters looking at kate's career, each album, how it was recorded and kate's passion to create something artistically valuable as opposed to pop music. i just read this and loved her even more.

 

 

got caught in an electronic snow storm, static blizzard filled my feed. sometimes i can navigate through these glitches, i guess because i don't over rely on technology, i can always default to an extra sensory perception. they said the communication system was down, my mobile made a good paperweight holding down the pages of an unfinished story. the black rectangle looked sleek but totally dysfunctional. none of the apps worked and there was no electricity supply to charge it. 
i lit a few candles, prepared myself and entered theta. i can do this instantly now, it only took a few seconds to reach you. remote viewing, i can see you sleeping in your bedroom, a massive thick quilt lay over the top of you. i project a whisper, but it's not working. i've begun to learn in theta you cannot get deeper, so without regulating i enter your dreamscape.
its a mountain freshness, but there's a fire burning. your feeding it logs and sipping upon a hot chocolate. i sit by your side, 'hi, i'm here because we need to talk.'
you look surprised but compose yourself very quickly, in a microsecond i do see the fragility and a fleeting hint of anger in your eyes, but it passes for a smile as you begin to understand the state of play.
'i''m listening,' you say attempting assertiveness but there's a fragility around your voice.
'come to me.' 
that's it, that's all i say as i fade away, as you fade away, the dream continues like a tree falling in an empty forest.
i return to my environment, the primal me activates his senses, i can see in the dark, i can hear birds and the distant rumble of something distant. my own fire is now just glowing embers. i reach for a log as i wait for your arrival.

iris doe 

possibly the best album i have heard after the church is this one, 'the end of unknowing' by iris doe. it's perfect in every sense but far to short, i want it to go on for ever, that kind of album. there's some brilliant musicianship, melodies and singing, harmonies and arrangements, that piano makes me melt. i'm pretty sure jeffery cain from the church is the main man behind this, iris doe, isadore, communicating vessels, i think it's very special. please trust me, buy it. tell your friends, share the love. things like this do not arrive often and as i sit at the end of the world, on the brink of apocalypse, mayhem and madness ,it's things like this i want to hear. 

city transport squished with non english speaking people, kids screaming, mums talking on phones, dads holding various mcdonalds bags and looking out the window at the harbour, generally doing what dads do, the whole place seems like another country. some chinese girls get on, chatting in chinese, a girl in a weird 80's outfit like a female devo band member strolls past looking for a seat. outside i look at the big ships in the harbour, a cruise ship and a warship. the opera house looks all glamorous in the winter blue ocean and a few sailing vessels bob up and down. i wonder as i gaze out how much more the city will change, and how fast. 

the streets are alive, thriving, i guess that's a good sign, i wander through george street wondering about weather i should upgrade my phone, it's already an antique. however i like it, i also wonder about some new computers, mine are relics and about to fail. i pick up my david bowie rock and roll star box, it's bigger than i thought and cheaper as red eye seem to have good prices for these box sets. 

later i head home, the sun sets, the temperature drops, and i'm ready to dream. i speak with mum for a little while but i'm tired and falling asleep, its cold so i shower, jump in bed and read a few chapters of 'year of the locust' which i'm really enjoying, and enter a deep sleep. 

last night around midnight the keeper of the reams visited. i hadn't seen him for over four years and he had not changed except for his eyes, they gleamed even brighter than ever, yet his features were identical to our last meeting. he was again dressed in his weird fractal robe, a sort of esoteric hooded gown covered in red embroidered fractal patters and designs that seemed to constantly move the more you look. 

i myself was wearing my old church tee- church a wooly hat and some black boxer shorts. i had been sleeping quite deeply after enjoying the fire-place. it was a cold night and for the first time in many years the whole of mission control was heated with a glowing warmth that bordered on quaint and domestic. i had been warming my bones, sitting in front of the fire feeling heat enter me, penetrating into the bodies depths. it was perfect, just enough light to relax peacefully while iris doe played on repeat, i tell you that album is magnificent. i especially love all the vocal tracks.

i could feel my body winding down, ready for sleep when the glass panel between the flames and myself suddenly burst alive with a face, contorted and apparently screaming at me. it's hard to describe but the fire demons face was so detailed and as i watched it screaming i began to see as it moved backwards and forwards it was not angry at all, it was laughing. 

i gazed at what would have been an hour or so, the basic shape of the thing never changing, even when i added a log. in the depths f my mind i wondered if when i open the door to place a new log in the flames would the demon escape, but it didn't seem to want to leave the fury of the firestorm inside. it laughed and smiled, sometimes it went out and reappeared at the back of the fire, sometimes it just went from fits of laughter to naughty giggles. eventually i stopped feeding the fre and took myself to bed as the glowing embers faded.

when the keeper of realms awoke me i had no idea what time it was, it seemed like the early hours of the morning but i had only been asleep three hours, it was midnight.
i offered him a chair and searched for a reasonably social light, and then went into the kitchen to make some tea. 
'i hope you have been well mission,' he said, a soft voice floated through the rooms.
'yes, i guess so, keeping a very low profile in the realms these days. focusing on being grounded for a change. it's taken me a few years to feel comfortable here but i've begun to acclimatise.'
'yes, the realms have noticed your absence.'

i poured out the water and let him continue.

'in fact that's why i am here.'

i carried two cups of chia, 'here warm up, i can relight the fire.'

i knelt down and begun to poke around the ash, smoothing it out and building a base for the slim pieces of wood, and adding some crumpled paper, and then a layer of sticks. within the centre were two cubes of fire starter which hopefully would get things cooking. as the flames begin i added the log on the top, leaving enough room for the oxygen to flow.

'you have to return soon mission, life on the ground has its place but you have been here far to long and you are needed.'

'mmm, i've begun to like it here, it's created a new kind of lifestyle, safer and more content. i don't really seek anything anymore. it's like i was always thinking there's nothing new under the sun, then something would surprise me, and now i realise everything new is under the sun.'

'yes, being grounded has its pros, and it's cons but i am keeper of the realms and i have been asked to summon you back. all realms need you, they are all in dire need as you must know, look at things upon the earth, it's just a manifestation of spiritual warfare. you know this mission but here, you can't do anything. in the realms you can change everything.'

as much as i wanted to deny it he was correct. i knew it deep within my bones.

i would require my allies, and i will need a few new ones. 

as we sipped our chia i knew exactly whom i would bind to me as a new ally. i looked into the fire and there he was laughing maniacally.