looking backwards, i must look forwards, i close my eyes and see with my third eye. the karmic wheel is spinning, machinations towards the balance, intricate details in a web of beauty, everything touches everything. i am at the centre of it all. sometimes i ponder the zen koans, what is the sound before anyone hears it, and i answer to myself, it is nothing and everything and then i think does it matter. it's just a trick. i cast my mind into old teachings from the old testament, a book everyone writes off because they are ignorant that it is just one layer of a complex code, only opened by various other keys. in some ways it's a quantum book, operating in holography disguised in a symbolic language. what does it reveal?

it reveals we live in an illusion, a simulation if you like, this world is not real, it's a world of lies. the afterlife is the world of truth. plato's cave states the same thing, as does the matrix. 

it reveals that life does have meaning, it does have a purpose. the separation that begun at the dawn of time must be unified, and that acts of love are the only way to do it. however this love is neither idealistic or romantic, it is not the love of religion but the love of the humble, the kind, the quiet and the caring for all creation. it is not fixated upon ideology or belief, it is practical. love of creation is love of god, and love of god or the universe is absolute love. the universe doesn't care if you are an ant or man, it cares not if you are democrat or republican, it cares not if you are black or white, the universe only cares that you enter a relationship with it and find that love inside yourself that you can sacrifice for the universe. 

what's outside the simulation? god.
we are also part of god but inside the simulation.
only through acts of divinity can the code be transcended.

it's why i don't kill ants.

it's why i don't hate, although i am beginning to understand my own limits, i do fight it.

it's why i strive to love my enemy even though i hold him / her in contempt of their own ignorance. 

and off course i have love for myself, which only comes after solitary communion with the universe. 

strangely i am becoming more social these days despite my strange lack of connection to humans and my own inner tranquility.