i must acknowledge how amazing ms mission is. she really is much better than me. all my ravings and writings have been very one sided and selfish, me working it all out. she had to work it out as well. she had her drama and challenges and i should have responded instead of reacting. 

i have had to learn this lesson hard. face myself, my own inadequacies and failings. i have to let that go as well. just go through what needs to be gone through.

my mistake, my lesson. it is all about unconditional love. i understand this now, in more clarity than ever because it is a twin flame process so everything was really fucking intense. this is what i have to transcend, my own mind. love brought me to duality and this is such a problem for me because i wanted an expression of romantic love, i wanted to be wanted and thought of as special to her but the twin flame relationship is not about this at all. my mind wanted this, and when it didn't get this, in fact it got the opposite i found the process unbearable. 
all i had to do was submit to it.
let it go. be detached.
not want the other person.
not have any attachment yet of course i did. how hard is it not to have an attachment to someone you are in love with?
how do i turn that down?
how do you stop?
how does that work?
you have to let go. 
let it go mission.
let go.
now!