Saturday, April 18, 2009

night drive to martins, cross the bridge at midnight, we sit up and talk about girls, hes waiting on one and im waiting for one, it's good to see him having a serious relationship, i really hope it works out for them, she's a great girl and i liked her from the moment i met her.
up at 5 to the airport, two brothers waiting for their folks. it's been 9 years since i have seen them, martin flies back regularly but im kinda loathe to, england is not really a place i feel comfortable in, it's just to miserable and brings back awful memories of being bullied at school, margret thatcher and winters of discontent. i left the place as soon as i could.
seeing mum and dad walk around the corner was quite strange, my father whom i am very close to looked not unlike clint eastwood did in his latest movie, only not as action enabled, he was frail. time age and life was carving it's marks upon him. we hugged, it was a great hug, something i don't do to a lot of people but like to do to people i care about.
he said i was fat but looked healthy.
i said he looked like clint eastwood.
we drove back to their apartment, i took a long way around through the cities suburbs. they had been delayed a few hours so we didn't get back till midday. we had a some noodles together and laughed about a few things then i had to leave.
my dad asked if i had any movies dvds i could bring over.
i said, 'what do you like?'
dad says, 'got any clint eastwood?'

later in the afternoon im thinking this may be the last time i see my dad, this trip. it's a strange thought, i'm not ready for it.
it's fucking tough being a father and now its hard being a son.
i know despite all i have experienced in life so far it's going to hit me hard.

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