it's sunday afternoon and i am exhuasted, work and surfing, lack of sleep, the strange landscape of weird dreams and huanting imagry, i felt the kiss of the sucubus and it's weight crushing, drenched in sweat, tossing and turning, restlessness and the awful overwhelming crunch of passing time. ahh it's fathers day and i am unenthusiastic, jake may or may not call me, he has not seen me on a fathers day for, well it must be 15 years. i lost all that time with my son, i am not sure how his mother could do that, i guess it's the mothers revenge, it's universal and although i forgive her i don't claim to understand it. all i know is it crushed me. but forever now, this moment i am healed, i am strong. i finsihed reading a fantastic elizabeth hand book called 'mortal love' based around the concept of the artists muse, inspiration and obsession now i am reading 'winterlong' and enjoying each page, she is a fine writer.