feeling quite wretched i haul my ass down to the garage for it's 2 recall notices and full service, which i am told takes a full day. drop of time is 7am which means I am awake at 0530 after 5 hours sleep.  the drive down is not so bad but at 7am im confused about what to do, when Jake calls to suggest i get to the northern beaches where he will meet me and drive me around. it's the first time i have seen jake since he arrived in sydney in november. 

he's looking excellent, handsome, healthy and radiating good energy, the opposite of me, an exhausted burnt out shell. he leads a pretty good life, running from dee why beach to manly each morning, she's enjoying this part of the beaches as it's close to the city and had all the convinces of the beach life. it's nice being a passenger. we drive through curl curl, firelight and into manly which i never really liked. later we go for a swim at curl curl where the water is very warm and the surf rolls in perfectly.

it's very hot and despite attempts to fight my general feeling of being at the end of my road i end up back in hornsby half asleep in the toyota waiting lounge. at 1730 they tell me the cars ready and i drive home.

i'm about to pull into my drive way when a friend turns up to take me to drumming. every wednesday night we drum at the beach, dance, hula hoop, fire dance and just hang out. there's a massive group of drummers and spears drums, percussion instruments and spectators. the ocean is filled with evening swimmers and children. there are far more people out than normal. 

i'm not feeling so sociable so i just bang the drum, two hours of tribal energy, i'm exhausted snd exhualted by the whole thing, entered a different state of consciousness, 

home later i shower and drift into a strange night of sleep, dreams, nightmares, coughing and  shadows. i'm thinking about death when i wake up.