six months later i drive jakob to the airport, he's returning after buying his mum a house and staying with me. it's been fantastic, really great. jake is not just intelligent and self made, he's a great guy to live with, i can't imagine getting on better with anyone else. it's surprised me as i am used to being alone, my way is quite autistic, things in their place, an order within my chaos but jake just follows my flow, he cleans up after himself, he sits and reads and we both watch the same shows on tv. meals are enjoyable, i like to cook and we often have a wine with dinner and converse. 

each morning i go out to the beach and do my climb and meet locals for a chat and coffee while he does his massive jog along the whole beach, and then to the gym. on the way home we usually stop for vegetables and then at home i get ready for work while he does his stuff. we both retire early if possible. he flies into the depths of decaying civilization while i'm left in some kinda rain bomb.

then. calamity after calamity, each day beings it's own calamity, superimposed over the previous like some weird little 3d image, i attempt to make out the picture but it's something abstractly dark. if there is any meaning it's a comparison chart of disasters, shuffle them up and then rearrange them in severity and then things for me don't seem so bad with perspective. the problem is one of empathy, it's impossible to be unaffected by some of the situations friends find themselves in. if i am, it's an eternal sadness, far to deep for tears and words.