this is a very interesting discussion between two israeli commentators about the situation is gaza, and covers some stuff you may not even have ever heard about. it's not easy to choose ruth's perspective or marks, however both are very relevant and nuanced. none of this would ever be reported or discussed in mainstream but it's accurate. i have to say personally, i always used to agree with marks perspective, but now I seem to share ruths.

just finished 'whalefall' by danial kruss and it was very good, a very simple story about survival but variation upon 'the martian' as it explores survival against all odds when a diver gets swallowed by a whale.

however unlike the martian which shows human ingenuity with science, whale fall shows something much more profound and intelligent. it's fantastic, simple to read, simple to understand but wow, it captures some very heavy themes and puts science down to one side, shows us a little biology while seeking the majestic beauty and power within nature and connections to family, dead and alive. it's a beautiful book.

 

suddenly i recall the events surrounding the focal family, it went unreported in western media as did the numerous murders and events that took place when the victims were jews. the fogal family. man, that was barbaric, and that's why israel knows exactly whet it is dealing with and the west has no idea. i was there, i saw what happened. nothing can prepare you for it, it's a horror beyond anything you can imagine because you rather believe humans are never that evil, but history teaches us, especially jews, history shows us exactly how depraved humans can be. mostly thinking they are good, moral, virtuous people, they present to the word a justification of their evil, and the world always claps their hands or denies the truth until it comes for them. and it will. 

it was a great few days hanging out with jake despite the rain, we binge watched our fave show, 'the walking dead' he's a new convert but get's the idea. that show throws up some very pertenent philosophical questions, people are stupid enough to just think its a zombie series. it's so much more than that, but it doesn't really pick up until midway through season 3.

we eat a few good meals, it's nice to have someone cook for, we drink good wine and have some good conversations.

at the back of my mind, there is only one sad thought, the bibas family. it didn't break me, as i know, but if it didn't break you then there's a problem. you see all the way through watching the walking dead i was telling jake how the real walking dead are the ideological psychopaths who want to turn you into them. the ones that cannot stand you having a different way of looking at the world, the meme infected green socialist islamo fascists, nazis that run the world. they are the enemies of freedom and they will kill you to make their point. they are the zombies, and we are the walking dead. the only point of the game now is not to be infected by their hate. aim for the head Jake. aim for the head.

in deep sleep i feel the grip upon my leg, pulling me down but i'm laying upon my stomach and although i immediately wake up i cannot move. the pull subsides but the grip becomes stronger. my instincts are good, and i'm alert to my situation but immobalised as i attempt to pull myself from the bed, even pull my leg away from the vice like grip. there's a sense of terror now, i can't even turn my face to look, it's still very dark but all normal reactions are frozen, except my thoughts. my thoughts begin to reorder themselves from terror to focus, it's all i have. there are several layers to my frozen state and i have to break through all of them, eventually i scream out quite loud. it's been a long time since i have screamed but it's loud and i find myself spinning around as if sound has broken the spell.

there is nothing there, in fact my leg is in a completely different position than i thought it was. it's 4am and i cannot return to sleep, i'm quite disturbed. when shayne comes to pick me up around 9am i am releived to see a friendly face. we head to 'lords of pour' at ettalong for our coffee, the horror fading away into a pleasant morning with a friend. shayne tells me about the time he saw talking heads in new zealand on the last gig of the stop making sense tour. perfect.

what is the now, the moment we can't actually live in as our sensory system takes 'time' to acknowledge the true now. what we live in, is actually our last memory. the now is the face of the explosion, the big bang as time explodes forwards. and what we incorrectly call 'now' is the point just behind it. 

if you want to really live in the now, then you have to time travel a fraction of a second into the future lest the now is just a relative term.

 

okay mission control is looking so good at the moment, it's taking form. i hardly go out these days, just happy and content being home, hanging out with jake and doing our thing. the plants are outside getting a soaking, inside they look semi tropical like the jungle encroaching into the lounge area, sometimes when i watch tv shows it's almost as though i'm outside. 

my new chesterfields give the place an elegant stately look, and the new workstation with large screen computers at least allow me a decent space to write. 

i've switched my small coffee table for a really large one, and created a few new areas where i can let my vines hang down. 

the dining room has a bare look now, clear seating and just a gothic candelabra on the table, no books, papers, CDs or clutter just my occasional red wine and a joint upon a dark balinese long wooden dining table. there's a deck of brand new sigil cards daemon sent me, simple but elegant, i like them as i work my way through them.

music is from the future, an artic band i'm following them, part science fiction and part classic. a beautiful ethos cruises through the vibe, some kind of spell from the future, where it's all gone wrong, travelling back to correct the faultline.

tomorrow i plan to do my floors, early morning shine and treatment. i've been meaning to do it for weeks but never found time. i planned to do it this morning but did my first aid certificate instead, always good to have it, never know when you need to jump into action. i've saved a few lives thanks to my confidence. i'm always good in emergencies. 

sunday i have to see shayne, and also pick up another lions mane grow bag. 

 

most of the time

closure. makes people sound like a room, people are not rooms they are labyrinths and mansions. the harder you try to escape the more we become lost within them. i don't believe in closure,  doors shut and open all the time, closure is just an aspect of a process, it's opening that we really have to do, only therapy won't go there directly, it goes to closure and often ends. with closure. preservation is a better way to describe what we attain to when we seek closure. finding the moments that we freeze frame in amber and reflect upon, carry into our futures and pass on to the next. i often think about my dad, a great man despite his faults, he was striving to be all things to all. he loved in that old clint eastwood way, by righting wrongs and choosing his causes well. he was a strange druid though, a man of mystery underneath all that 'chancy gardener' persona. 

 nevermind

most of my readers won't watch this fully, i know that. but fuck you. fuck you all! all you assholes who stand with these fucking death cults. the fucking red cross, the united nation, the charities and human rights people, the endless lies, the dumb academics and fucking outrageous re-writing of history, the pathological hatred of jews shines a light on you, not me. i've always said hate us all you want, do I give a fuck, just don't put us in concentration camps or degrade us anymore but even that you can't fucking do. I'm glad you hate me, i'm glad you want me dead, it just shows how right my side of the fence is.and you, you are a death cult. every fibre of your hypocritical mindset screams what an ugly fascist you actually are disguised under some word like humanitarian, human rights, equitable, fucking nonsense words that as she said, have totally lost their meaning.

in the great book 'dances wth wolves' there's a scene where the protagonist a disillusioned solider is taken by indians and initiated into their tribe. on his first hunt  he kills a buffalo and in his honour he is to ear the liver of the beast plucking it out of the freshly killed animal he holds it in his hands. hesitation amongst the savages. he processes he has upmost respect for the indians, he loves their freedom and culture, he loves their sacred visions and brotherhood and he feels close to them in spirit. so without further thought he plunges his face into the warm organ and takes a bite, in which he describes it as the most wonderful tasting thing that has ever passed between his lips.

most people these days are on a new fashionable diet called the carnivore diet, which basically allows you to only eat meat / fish and cheese. it's amazing how positive the results are, as bodies heal themselves and optimal weight is attained. i'm not certain, i think there's something to be said for balance, nutrition comes in many forms, colours and tastes, plus i like fruit which would be out of bounds. i believe in the idea everything for healing is within nature, even cancer, tumours and ms. god has provided us with everything, but we must be conscious. we must seek nutrition, taste and flavour are of little consequence. the best kind of diet is the one where food is close to the sun, the source. no processing. the kind where one bite and you feel it working.

if i follow a diet its just, eat good organic food, don't eat to much, be grateful for it and enjoy it.  

'almost like the blues' kinda sums it up for me. that sparse music and that piano towards the end, it's me right now thinking about everything, family, friends, my history and myself. the endless cycle of it all and the survival of a people against all the odds. the word biblical is useful here and now. it really is biblical as it's so overwhelming like a dark shadow risen from a fable, the hate, the overt violent intent and pathological need for people to express it in the most brutal ways, given they now have a green light to do so. it's always been there under the surface but now it's almost acceptable. now it's dinner party etiquette. it's fashion again.

I saw some people starving

There was murder, there was rape

Their villages were burning

They were trying to escape

I couldn't meet their glances

I was staring at my shoes

It was acid, it was tragic

It was almost like the blues

It was almost like the blues

I have to die a little

Between each murderous plot

And when I'm finished thinking

I have to die a lot

There's torture, and there's killing

And there's all my bad reviews

The war, the children missing, lord

It's almost like the blues

It's almost like the blues

Though I let my heart get frozen

To keep away the rot

My father says I'm chosen

My mother says I'm not

I listened to their story

Of the gypsies and the Jews

It was good, it wasn't boring

It was almost like the blues

It was almost like the blues

There is no God in heaven

There is no hell below

So says the great professor

Of all there is to know

But I've had the invitation

That a sinner can't refuse

It's almost like salvation

It's almost like the blues

It's almost like the blues

Almost like the blues

Almost like the blues

Almost like the blues

okay well lunch was very interesting, i'm not sure if i can write about it here but, fuck it, i lead such a strange life you won't believe it anyway. suddenly i find myself introduced to some central coast people, a large group who meet for a dinner once a week. these people had begin to see the veil slip away, either by a conspiracy theory they follow, a connection of dots, covid and or their own experience, divination or intuition, and in my case maybe there are no accidents. anyways i meet up about three months later for lunch with some friends who are putting together a survival pack. they wanted my input. now i don't know about survival, i can't bare camping or bushwalking even, the idea of skinning a rabbit, well i can't imagine me doing all that but in a mid level minor apocalypse i can learn a few skills. anyways we are working out a strategy if something happens, aligning clusters of peoples into communities with a meeting spot and certain conditions on when to implement this. each community has a communications relay that will travel a certain distance that enables it to reach the next community. 

we worked out what to put in a bug-out -bag, and some simple tricks when it comes to food management. anyways, i managed to get some very nice cbd oil which i tried and it's magnificent, so i came away very happy. i was also given some amazing stuff that gets the vaccine shit out of the body. it's the missing ingredient that i missed while i was detoxing. so apart from preparing for the end of the world i scored some really great oil. that's a productive day although i forgot to do my laundry.

again last night a small group meet for a small dinner and we discuss many things although i don't get to caught up into the fear element i do have a lot of offer as people discuss last nights piers morgan and tucker interview which i happened to see. lets see while tucker is slightly reasonable, piers is an idiot who has no principles and follows the crowd. evidence of this is during covid where he wanted to jail and humiliate anyone who questioned the vaccine. he was a nasty bastard and very hostile, condescending and pushed the establishment without any thought. now he has been proven wrong he blames his producers and the government.

tucker on the other hand is smarter, more independent and asked some good questions although he holds churchill  responsible for current times, after all he says, what exactly did churchill win, gesturing to what's happening in the UK now. the problem with this is churchill is not responsible, he no longer served as PM after the war. it's a reasonable but misguided question which tucker needed to think deeper about as i have, and suggest that the war never was won by the allies, it was absorbed by them and the nazi's were taken into all the institutions and given responsibilities that although appear very different from the third reich have exactly the same ideology. NATO, NASA, the UN, WHO and WEF all have one agenda, global government and domination. they are all left wing as in national (international) socialist and they are all restrictive of individual freedoms. come on tucker, join the dots and see the picture.