well the specialist didn't have good news for me, and it looks like i may have to return to hospital for some more weird procedures and experimentation early next year. this came as a blow to me, i was kinda hoping i could put it all behind me, and move forwards. i can't really move anywhere now.

still time pushes on, events pivot, the background changes colour but the foreground is the same. conclusions become beginnings, it's always the way, a never ending story because it is one big long story of cycles and loops. i am indeed a strange loop. but i move ever forwards. the knight of nights.

in the mid east the same old situation, the west getting everything inverted as it tells isreal to stop the war, ceasefire now! all that sounds good in theory but they are telling the wrong side, if they want to stop the war they should tell hamas to release hostages, they should ask why hamas broke the last ceasefire or let israel finish what it must do. there's agendas at play, only those with x ray vision can see it. it's been like that for many many decades but on it goes.

i wake up super early, go through my morning rituals. i even manage to do some gardening at 6am. it's very overcast, grey and heavy skies threaten storms. i batten down the hatches,  make sure my supplies are stocked before deluge falls. it's weirdly humid, sweat beads form as soon as i emerge from the shower. a dog barks, everything feels very ominous as if the sun is about to flare.

good news is i can start 'eros zeta' today. yay!