5am see's me driving along the highway into a majestic sunrise, blazing australian red and scarlet slashes across the huge sky, there's nothing quite like it, a powerful ancient landscape meets the glory of dawn. i'm contemplating my new life as some sort of team co ordinator type, responsibility pours into me like a self important beurocrat from a dostoyevsky novel. 
im split into various parts, my many selves operating a juggling routine. one fights a war far away. he's battle worn now, waiting for the results, he's cynical and jaded, ready to die. 
as i turn of the highway a spectacular rainbow shoots up into the stratosphere. it's biblical in it's architecture, gods promise...

the next morning the threat of storm havoc is in the atmosphere, as i drive towards terrible beach at 6am. i scan the waters, messy choppy surf, strange clouds forming, anarchic patterns herald chaos. i take a chance before deluge. i swim out in the ice water, it's shark country. the conditions perfect for attack but i figure i'm okay out here, i'd be so numb from cold i wouldn't feel anything anyway.

no waves this morning, it's far to random but i swim around and get wet, a few casual dog walkers and joggers look out at me a lone figure in the icy chill of the tasman sea. later i'm drinking a coffee dripping wet, being warmed by a friendly waitress from spain and the aspect of me that is presented is a ghost like phantom. i try to bring myself back together but i need time and some closure on a few fronts, soon i tell myself, soon.