'almost like the blues' kinda sums it up for me. that sparse music and that piano towards the end, it's me right now thinking about everything, family, friends, my history and myself. the endless cycle of it all and the survival of a people against all the odds. the word biblical is useful here and now. it really is biblical as it's so overwhelming like a dark shadow risen from a fable, the hate, the overt violent intent and pathological need for people to express it in the most brutal ways, given they now have a green light to do so. it's always been there under the surface but now it's almost acceptable. now it's dinner party etiquette. it's fashion again.

I saw some people starving

There was murder, there was rape

Their villages were burning

They were trying to escape

I couldn't meet their glances

I was staring at my shoes

It was acid, it was tragic

It was almost like the blues

It was almost like the blues

I have to die a little

Between each murderous plot

And when I'm finished thinking

I have to die a lot

There's torture, and there's killing

And there's all my bad reviews

The war, the children missing, lord

It's almost like the blues

It's almost like the blues

Though I let my heart get frozen

To keep away the rot

My father says I'm chosen

My mother says I'm not

I listened to their story

Of the gypsies and the Jews

It was good, it wasn't boring

It was almost like the blues

It was almost like the blues

There is no God in heaven

There is no hell below

So says the great professor

Of all there is to know

But I've had the invitation

That a sinner can't refuse

It's almost like salvation

It's almost like the blues

It's almost like the blues

Almost like the blues

Almost like the blues

Almost like the blues

okay well lunch was very interesting, i'm not sure if i can write about it here but, fuck it, i lead such a strange life you won't believe it anyway. suddenly i find myself introduced to some central coast people, a large group who meet for a dinner once a week. these people had begin to see the veil slip away, either by a conspiracy theory they follow, a connection of dots, covid and or their own experience, divination or intuition, and in my case maybe there are no accidents. anyways i meet up about three months later for lunch with some friends who are putting together a survival pack. they wanted my input. now i don't know about survival, i can't bare camping or bushwalking even, the idea of skinning a rabbit, well i can't imagine me doing all that but in a mid level minor apocalypse i can learn a few skills. anyways we are working out a strategy if something happens, aligning clusters of peoples into communities with a meeting spot and certain conditions on when to implement this. each community has a communications relay that will travel a certain distance that enables it to reach the next community. 

we worked out what to put in a bug-out -bag, and some simple tricks when it comes to food management. anyways, i managed to get some very nice cbd oil which i tried and it's magnificent, so i came away very happy. i was also given some amazing stuff that gets the vaccine shit out of the body. it's the missing ingredient that i missed while i was detoxing. so apart from preparing for the end of the world i scored some really great oil. that's a productive day although i forgot to do my laundry.

again last night a small group meet for a small dinner and we discuss many things although i don't get to caught up into the fear element i do have a lot of offer as people discuss last nights piers morgan and tucker interview which i happened to see. lets see while tucker is slightly reasonable, piers is an idiot who has no principles and follows the crowd. evidence of this is during covid where he wanted to jail and humiliate anyone who questioned the vaccine. he was a nasty bastard and very hostile, condescending and pushed the establishment without any thought. now he has been proven wrong he blames his producers and the government.

tucker on the other hand is smarter, more independent and asked some good questions although he holds churchill  responsible for current times, after all he says, what exactly did churchill win, gesturing to what's happening in the UK now. the problem with this is churchill is not responsible, he no longer served as PM after the war. it's a reasonable but misguided question which tucker needed to think deeper about as i have, and suggest that the war never was won by the allies, it was absorbed by them and the nazi's were taken into all the institutions and given responsibilities that although appear very different from the third reich have exactly the same ideology. NATO, NASA, the UN, WHO and WEF all have one agenda, global government and domination. they are all left wing as in national (international) socialist and they are all restrictive of individual freedoms. come on tucker, join the dots and see the picture.

 

slowly i'm getting somewhere at mission control, it's taken years but things fall into place, a new kind of commitment and certainty, a drive that had been missing for years has returned. it's obvious the ocean is important to me, that dawn surf to start the day. a boxing session. my first coffee and chat with the terrible friends at terrible, and then the return to write. everything else gets in the way but it has to be that way. i need space for reading in between. it really feels as though time is running out and my work life balance is out of whack, so adjustments must be made. work takes up to much time, i need more play.

thus changes are afoot.

 

jake comes over and we get stuck into some cleaning up at mission control, slowly things come together and i can see my need for more storage or the removal of certain items. i did take a big box of books down to the book exchange thinking i'd get at least $50 but instead was given $10. anyway's i'll stick to the market place when it comes to selling books, at least you meet people. we clean up and assemble a brand new work station, it's a new ben monster and attaches to the mac book, so i have a larger screen, eventually i will get a mac mini and new keyboard but this is a long way off, for the moment it's just maintenance and clearing space. everything looks groovy now, just three very cluttered spaces i need to sort out.

i finished 'crime' and begin 'the long knives' discuss with jakob the opening statement about the difference between enemies and adversaries, it's a good one.

'an adversary is someone you want to defeat. an enemy is someone you need to destroy.with adversaries, compromise is virtuous, after all todays adversary could be tomorrows ally. but with enemies, compromise is an unsatisfactory appeasement. in our modern age, we are loosing the distinction between the two'

bread recipe for people who don't like yeast like me.

180g lentils

2 eggs

100g yogurt

1tbs garlic powder

30g parmesan cheese grated

1tbs parsley chopped

10g baking powder

20mls olive oil

sesame seeds sprinkle to taste

coat pan with oil

prep lentils soak for 1 hour

wash and remove water after 1 hour completely

get bowl, make batter with lentils, 2 eggs, 100g yogurt.

mix until smooth

sprinkle salt, garlic cheese parsly

stir

put baking powder into mix with olive oil and mix

pour into bake pan add  seeds on top

put in 180 oven for 45 mins

let bread cool

eat

i rock up to avoca in my emeraldine machine, see a war torn killer lugging a guitar and some bags into the back of a rabbit field with a beach view. i follow but mysteriously he has vanished through some sort of portal i can't access. as i stand in the field mystified i get a text from wild child who is down on the beach sucking on a cone with ryissa. i wander down to say hello. 

later we sit outside in the gardens of avoca cinema, it's all rather wonderful with dumplings being cooked nearby, cocktails and live music from someone who claims to knows me. he's singing songs which ryissa and i recognize have the dna of others, we hear the rolling stones and steve harley. ryissa starts to sing, she's got a good voice, it's rich in quality. we are joined by our very own personal rockstar. he shares some food and we talk a bit about books. it's good to see him, a wise man, a humble man, a lover, fool, observer of truth, a spiritual man with hedonistic bents, a man who makes you laugh. a man who pulls amazing words from the ether and turns them into powerful spells, songs and poems. a renaissance man, in an age where anything remotely renaissance is commodified into a the blob of western culture, he remains detached from it all, yet deeply connected to humanity. 

the night flashes by, it's far to fast for me, all those first songs are short songs and there are many but i'm in that zone, that blissed out place i can only get to with him and his tunes. tonight he plays his guitar so well, it's sound resonates through the theatre and pans out around your body, hugging tight like a favorite lover and friend, and i close my eyes and drift away. 

in the first set the songs are a collection of solo one's or collaborations, and each is it's own jewel. how i love the grant mclennan ones, almost as much as the stories, bob dylan, 'wiggle wiggle' i get it. i really would have liked grant i reckon. he seemed very sensitive. i really understand how he felt. and then there's 'keeper' my fave. nothing is as sublime as that song. tonight i notice how amazing his voice is, with that guitar, simple chords and melodies yet the voice fills the space, the words dance through the gaps, majestic poetry in motion. each song has it's own story, new antidotes, ever changing, always the same. that first set was special we even got 'sept 13th. and 'limbo.' rarer than hens teeth, our rock star is on a roll.

the second set are old faves, recontextualized for solo guitar and yet still as good, chords fill up the space above my head, words drift between my ears. all these songs grow from one tree, and it's a unique tree of life and death and man and women and the universe. 

these for me are peak moments, nights like this, things that will flash before me when i die, the perfect moments. these are memories in future tense, what a great line that is. it's clever, almost a book, a philip k dick book and that's our rock star, man of the people, man of the future and moment. a lesson in genius, truth and the classical nature of the creative spirit. he's off the past and future but he really is now. and that's exactly where i am.   

the gospel according to tony day is my fave bowie cover, in fact it's the only one i like and i would say it's even better than the original. sacrilege but it's true.

it's covered by

by edwyn collins

and check out these lyrics, david must have been feeling ripped off at the time he wrote these, taken advantage off. i particularly enjoy his wry comments after the chorus, it's an unusual song even for bowie.

The gospel according to Tony Day
The gospel according to Tony Day
The gospel according to Tony Day
If I find a girl he'll take her away
Rotten Tony!
The gospel according to Brendan O'Lear
The gospel according to Brendan O'Lear
The gospel according to Brendan O'Lear
If I buy him a scotch, he'll buy me a beer
Tight fist, friends
The gospel according to Pat Hewitt
The gospel according to Pat Hewitt
The gospel according to Pat Hewitt
If it's written on a sweater then I'd better not, you do it
Ah
Got to, got to
Your mind, blow it
Blow it
The gospel according to Marianne Brent
The gospel according to Marianne Brent
The gospel according to Marianne Brent
She'll be mine if I pay the rent
Good old Marianne, who needs friends, oh
Waste of flippin' time, take a look at my life and you'll see
Take a quick, butchers, rotten Harry down the hall,
Wouldn't give me tuppence for him

i first read crime in tel aviv, hanging out at a friends in 2008. around me conflict was escalating and it was dangerous to walk around. bombs were falling, suicide bombers were everywhere, bars, clubs and buses were getting blown up, even the shopping mall where i had just bought a very nice pair of italian boots would be hit in a few years by a spate of suicide bombers inspired by the promise of 72 virgins. even a dolphinarium was successfully targeted. so i was kinda going out and about sporadically but also spending a lot of time in cafes reading. i can't recall how i came by the book, i think i found it in one of the hundreds of bookshops hidden in the city, but it was irvine welsh and i was already a huge fan. crime is the first novel with ray lennox as the main character although he has been featured in a previous one, 'filth' as a secondary detective. i remember reading it and being amazed at the story, it was gritty and a crime novel unlike anything welsh had written before. most of it takes place in florida, far away from lieth and edinburgh. i remember the way he conjured florida, and it's people so well. the sun, the women, the seedy under current. it was funny and shocking, the way he described observations and there was dialogue that was perfect. it was an easy read but a complex story and i read it fast.

i picked it up a few days ago and gave it a re-read, planning to read the two sequels 'long knives' and 'resolution' and this time 'crime' is even better than the first. ray is such a wreck of a man, typical protagonist from welsh's cast of corrupted and imperfect character's and it's impossible not to feel a vast amount of sympathy for him and his post traumatic state as he slips back into his flirtations with addictions, escape and death only to find himself in the impossible position of redemption. 

this is terrifying and should bring down the british government.it's a long interview but well worth listening to because you will not see / hear this on any mainstream media, yet. i like andrew gold, he is a great interviewer and heritics has excellent guests.

this reminds me of tommy robertson's stories 15 -20 years ago, and he's a political prisoner rotting in solitary confinement now.

these days when i walk into a book shop there is nothing worth reading, publishers are churning out the equivalent of muzak, it's dire straits, just the typical female, black or minority, lgbqt superficial stories with predictability and one dimensional characters that are so politically correct the novel can only have one outcome. it's dull and boring and very sad. all the books that had an impact upon me, the ones that stood the test of time, the writers that were great and still are, the novels that provoke and stimulate deep thinking would never get published today. people say don't buy from amazon but amazon does stock self published work, novels that are rejected by publishers or that are to controversial for them.  

to get published you need marketing, a team of market researchers who understand genre, who can twist and shape your novel towards a YA market cos that's where the money is, they remove the reality from the novel, the sexism, the racism, the tension and replace it with a more agreeable kind. homophobia or anti male, pro islam (remember all books published about islam have to be approved by the islamic council) and the result is very vanilla, very safe politically correct and mostly lack any meaningful consideration apart from inclusion, diverts and equity, which are great qualities but turned into some sort of weird marxist ideological propaganda. fuck that! 

gimme some truth.

void master. i travel across space time with void technology, some people mistakenly assume it's alien but it's a mental technique i learnt from various occult traditions and ancient practices, a combination of magic and shamanism, plus some quantum thinking. the fact is space and time are the same thing in the same way yin and yang are, polarites cannot exist in this universe independently, it's a duality remember.

once you apply some thinking tools to the mind, the obliteration of single positions in space time surrender to superposition and all you need is to bridge the distance. the bridging comes easy if you accept the idea you can be in two positions at once. it's a lot like dreaming. 

this in all probability is a neat trick but it can only be useful if one can change external outcomes. can i stop hitler being born, no. can i win the lottery, yes. i often do but within the confines of probability, for i win tiny amounts, often never more than i have spent on the tickets but by all accounting it breaks even.

i usually only spend $10 on a ticket weekly, and then after about 6 weeks take them in to see what i win.

on average i win about $50 therefore making a loss off about $10 every 6-7 weeks.

the point is i win, but fine tuning is required to win big.

there is a new aspect to this experiment i am working on, it's something i have never considered before but think will assist with better outcomes. so here we go.

a few days ago while i'm training jakob decides to run the beach, it's pouring with rain and the beach is just washed out, greys and dark shadows, like the lights have been turned down low and  nosferatu awaits in the darkness, while I may be inside the elements are conspiring against all of us, a sleepy sea see town that suddenly went to sub tropics to gothic forboding.

when we reconvene jake is freezing and i take him home for a shower, it's a 4k run along a wild beach while dark surf crashes at his feet. i've completed a round of boxing and training that's left my endorphins speeding through my blood like formula one racers, i can do anything.

i manage finally to offload a huge box of legal books that somehow found byway to my door. it's been passed on to a local police woman that is now studying law so i tell her one day when i require some legal advice i expect her to repay the favour. yeah old mission is like the godfather of terrible beach these days. 

now the sun is out again, it's beautiful. i woke up very late, totally exhausted from working, do a few domestics and sort through a pile of stuff that i can't find a place to put. there's a very nice breeze blowing through mission control so i open up and let it do it's work. i attempt to buy a copy of the new 3 disc jack frost but it costs almost $200 to get hold of it from easy action. that's just nuts so i wait until red eye get a copy.

i dunno, i'm still exhausted.

 

in the uk the grooming gang business is back, even though it was seemingly addressed years ago, it's resurfaced because it never went away. it was never addressed and it now implicates the prime minister and the whole of the labour party, and also the conservatives, the police, skools, social workers and various councils who not only ignored and treated the victims with contempt, (there are thousands of them) they also were complicit.

public enemy number one is tommy robertson a man who was warning about this for decades, now currently doing time in belmarsh for screening a movie that exposed the corruption. he's labeled racist, fascist and agitator but he's none of those things, for his biggest crime is being working class. the establishment hate them and cannot have them speaking freely about the things that concern them, like their duaghters.

the myth of tommy robertson has been manufactured by the establishment to delegitimise him totally, yet he has never been racist or said anything racist, ironically many hindu's and blacks support him and advocate for what he is saying. the hindu's because their children were victims and the blacks because they researched the truth.

at the moment the government is attempting to cover up the whole story, keeping it at a council level but pretty soon there will have to be a national enquiry or there will be a revolution. either way two tier kier is doomed.

i warned about this many years ago,  but received the usual contempt. in some ways i wish i were wrong but the truth always rises. and a strange ally has manifested in this current saga, elon musk has stood up to support tommy robertson and the british working class are very grateful. 

last day of the year and i am exhausted from it. all i want is to sleep. sleep that glorious space where my mind can recalibrate and project it's requirements, premonitions, symbols and metaphors. 

if i had to review the year it would be the space where grim reality of humanities past loops itself again, and the zombie hordes now have eaten almost everyones brain. i may not be alive next year, people queue up to kill me, haters write to me, killers threaten me and i just don't care. i'm unafraid of them.  everyday i get threats and the most vile abuse. it makes me happy, i know i am on the right side. ignorence is not bliss, it is a curse upon those that hate me. i no longer even feel sorry for them. 

last day of the year, i just want to be alone, in peace.

in the evening these candles burn down low, there are shadows dancing on the walls and ghosts communicating through enochian calls, you say they are angels, i say no, you say they are angelic and I say... maybe. 

in that darkness that comes before, in the envelope that consumes one and all, they reach out to reach in, you say they are communicating vessels and i say no, you say they are elementals and i say no, you say they are supernatural and I say...maybe.

at certain times in my life these late years i think about the dead, the people i loved and who are gone now, and i miss my dad, our talks about god. i miss my friend tim and our adventures. it seems like that was all so long ago, a different time, a past life. i get it all mixed up sometimes, i'm not sure if i have had so many past lives in one or my dad and tim are in some passed life, sometimes i hear their voices and i hold conversations just like they were right there with me, tim telling me his stories of old sydney, wild fishing trips, romps with brazilian strippers and his love of animals, even though he was never shy about eating them. tim had money and knew how to use it, he had a generous spirit, he was larger than life, and that's why i still feel him, that strange big hulk-ish energy, a touch of tony soprano, a touch of jackson pollock. tim had lust, he sucked marrow from every situation he could, whereas i took a bite here and there, i'd drive him home when he got to drunk and he would tell me in his unburdened freedom how he loved me for being his friend.

and he laughs at me now. laughs at my strange life and how things turned out.

and the other ghost is my dad, but he doesn't really talk to me, he just listens. i talk to him. how does that work? 

there are other people i have lost along the way, violent suicides and bad luck but those take a back seat when it comes to apparitions, most of the time it's just a faint trace of dad and tim.

one night i will be driving along and the sound on my radio goes weird, all static pouring through, in between stations. i'll hear them in the noise, and tune in to the signal, but as soon as i do it fades. and voices on the radio, the guitars return, the drum machines, echo chambers and crunching hombres. 

sometimes it feels like they are right there, dad pouring his whiskey, saying his prayer that went on for ever, asking god to protect us, a long list of friends and family, he really cared for people in his way. sometimes i hear it just above the surface but again, once i tune in my attempt drive it away. it's forbidden perhaps, but i cannot help myself, the desire to connect is strong, after all he was my father.

and then there's tim in my kitchen making a mess. taking cds out from their cases, he's looking for 'the lightning seeds', he loved them. sometimes if i listen hard in ambient hours, i can hear a voice, 'it all makes sense.'

 

he was amazed at how i knew whom ian brodie was, actually even i was amazed. i don't really know how that piece of trivia was stuck in my brain. it was a mystery, our whole friendship was. it was an adventure. it was very funny, we laughed, but it was quite strange now i think about it, a spiritual quest that was like a road trip, one character, the countries highest paid qc, who drove a beaten up old bmw filled with cassettes, cases, tapes unspooled all over the car floor and manilla files filled with the particulars of a case he was working on. he was an alcoholic, a man who loved expensive wine and had very exotic tastes and there was me, a psychedelic warrior in search of space but finding only time. we saw things no one should see, we did it all, the good the bad and the ugly. mostly it was god, sex and death. 

and now i just see the strange fleeting shadows, the glimpses from the corner of my eye, the whispers and erratic presence of something inexplicable. and then there's that loss, the deep trench i have to navigate each day, that missing part of life, the void i can't fill, friendship. for it is a ship and we steered that old gunboat / trawler into 'off the map' territory and i was lucky to return a richer man. 

surfing this morning at dawn, i summon up a group of sexy people to have coffee with and discuss some arty stuff, we are all creatives, working on projects. I have a few things to close off on, and then begin something new. it's exciting.

the last few days have been hard, managing christmas for 5 people who are demanding and excited, adults for whom christmas means food, special drinks and chocolates. the whole thing has been extremely stressful and exhausting but all was worth it when they opened their presents and received what they had asked for. especially two of them, one wanted an amethyst ring that i had one hour to procure and. budget of $30. i should get a medal for the lengths I went to get that ring for her but i don't even get a thank you, except from her. it was worth it.

the other client was expecting a box of 'favourites', a set of cadburys different chocolates in individual wrappers. the staff that had been tasked with getting these had left them at home so this afternoon the client opened a bag of various other things we had put together from left overs we found. he was fine but confused. later in the evening another client had been given a box of 'favourites' and he is not allowed to eat them due to a choking risk, so i gave them to the client that had missed out and the look on his face was spectacular. it was everything. 

so now at the end of some very long days, with one more day left before time off, i'm sitting here alone wondering what the hell it could all be about. it's a day where you have to show what? why is it different from any other day? i have always spent xmas alone or with people whom have no family. orphans. i am kinda orphaned myself, so i like to serve on xmas day rather than receive and pursue hedonistic experiences, i like to work hard and make others happy, people who are alone. that's xmas for me. i guess i have felt alone for so many years on xmas it's just now part of my routine. 

 ah finally brilliant commentary from konstantine. wake up west! this is what the university's don't tell you.

time flips and flops like a dying fish but one thing is certain we are all heading into tomorrow and there's no escape. tomorrow looks weirder than today,  it's skies filled with drones, war outside the door, masters and slaves,  puppets and clones, media lies, digital hell, crime determined by criminals, mono- culture, pre- thought crime, and all the usual dystopian cliques. on the other hand it could be crystal blue waters,  perfect waves, pristine architecture not made by human hands, the sounds of silence and peaceful zen like conditions under which man can make love, relax, smoke some natural weed and give praise to jah. 

looking backwards, i must look forwards, i close my eyes and see with my third eye. the karmic wheel is spinning, machinations towards the balance, intricate details in a web of beauty, everything touches everything. i am at the centre of it all. sometimes i ponder the zen koans, what is the sound before anyone hears it, and i answer to myself, it is nothing and everything and then i think does it matter. it's just a trick. i cast my mind into old teachings from the old testament, a book everyone writes off because they are ignorant that it is just one layer of a complex code, only opened by various other keys. in some ways it's a quantum book, operating in holography disguised in a symbolic language. what does it reveal?

it reveals we live in an illusion, a simulation if you like, this world is not real, it's a world of lies. the afterlife is the world of truth. plato's cave states the same thing, as does the matrix. 

it reveals that life does have meaning, it does have a purpose. the separation that begun at the dawn of time must be unified, and that acts of love are the only way to do it. however this love is neither idealistic or romantic, it is not the love of religion but the love of the humble, the kind, the quiet and the caring for all creation. it is not fixated upon ideology or belief, it is practical. love of creation is love of god, and love of god or the universe is absolute love. the universe doesn't care if you are an ant or man, it cares not if you are democrat or republican, it cares not if you are black or white, the universe only cares that you enter a relationship with it and find that love inside yourself that you can sacrifice for the universe. 

what's outside the simulation? god.
we are also part of god but inside the simulation.
only through acts of divinity can the code be transcended.

it's why i don't kill ants.

it's why i don't hate, although i am beginning to understand my own limits, i do fight it.

it's why i strive to love my enemy even though i hold him / her in contempt of their own ignorance. 

and off course i have love for myself, which only comes after solitary communion with the universe. 

strangely i am becoming more social these days despite my strange lack of connection to humans and my own inner tranquility.

without technology i have surfed almost every day, out there in the pristine waters with waves so perfect and powerful i reverted back to my old self. jake arrived and immediately started to rearrange my kitchen, literally throwing out 3 large black garbage bags of stuff. it's kinda painful to watch him going at it as he was quite ruthless but i know it's for the best, a lot of stuff was out of date and now i have room to actually use my kitchen again. down at mission control space is limited, and i have accumulated a lot of junk over the years. 

jake seemed to have slotted in with the locals, now he swims with the rays and sharks at the point i guess you earn that 'honour local' title, my friends have embraced him which is nice and i think Jake likes hanging out at terrible as it's like avalon beach was 30 years ago. i took a well needed break from work so we could have some time, went back yesterday and it was a slight shock, i much rather surf all day however there is a lot to do at mission control, a lot, and at some point i need to arrange a council clean up to take away the junk. 

getting technology back is a blessing and a curse, however i do need it in the long run,  managed to salvage three novels in progress on from the old hard drives but i have yet to verify if they are useable. I also set up my sound system so now it's all 5.1 and I'm looking forwards to playing my the the blu ray from the albert hall comeback tour.

 

the mass psychosis that has taken over the human world is an epidemic of madness we have witnessed before, the witch hunts, the various holocausts and now the weird ideology that has taken over the planet now, moral and spiritual bankruptcy, moral people commit immoral acts,  they are collectively unable to see their own behaviour as irrational because they are within the bubble they create with their own kind and to transgress the bubble is to be cancelled. 

what drives an individual to madness are 'triggers' but mostly psychogenic emotions, fear, anxiety, panic, a flood of various negative emotions.  it spreads like a contagious disease and the only way to escape it is a psychotic break, contrary to popular belief this is not manifested in a complete breakdown, instead it's a reordering of one's entire world. it blends fact and fiction, reality and delusion in a way that alleviates the panic, fear and anxiety.

the result in this psychosis on a society is totalitarianism, you can see it in labour in the uk and australia, you can see it in the green party and those that support them, you can see it clearly in the democrats in the usa, projecting themselves onto everyone who opposes them as they call you a fascist or nazi, completely under a delusion because they are the nazi, they are the fascist. 

fascism is when govt. work hand in hand with corporations, and that's big tech and washington. that's the united nations, the world health org and the economic forum. all pushing for one world global government, and their strange dystopian agenda where we are the cash crop. 

but the sad fact and the truth of it all, we are willing to surrender to them. play into their hands because we are also deluded by our own mind virus.

over the last few decades i have been researching the tides of humanity, the forces that push and pull, connecting the dots from various levels, the first time i ever came across this was richard dawkins when he wrote a book called the selfish gene where towards the conclusion dawkins mentioned the meme as a cultural transmitted entity. the book is written by an evolutionary scientist and i personally do not subscribe to darwinian evolution as the only way humans can evolve. 

then i read howard blooms amazing book, 'the lucifer gene,' which propelled me further towards a kind of freedom. my experiences with the human potential group also gave me mental technology to take responsibility for my own liberation.

then many years later i uncovered through my own experiences a methodology that uses thought technology based upon principles of magick that can liberate a person. the culmination of this was an ayahuscia experience where i was operated upon by three benevolent beings (aliens) who healed me from a recent head trauma (brain damage) and opened up various portals into various dimensions. very similar to magick but more sexier. after all shamanism is magick.

and now i just finished paul levy's book 'wetiko' which is stunning in the fact it uses a native american concept to explain a complex magickal, jungian, shamanic experience of the world and the hidden forces that control it, and us. 

reading this was like the final piece of a jigsaw puzzle, completing a picture for me. there are some intellectual criticisms i can make about the book but that would be pedantic, paul has written a very accessible, non pretentious marvelous book that offers us all an understanding at least. it reads like a pkd novel in some ways and then you realize paul deciphers pkd's own understanding of wetiko, which has many names, (there's even a kabbalistic framework paul writes about) faces and means to get to us. but only through facing wetiko can we free ourselves from it. i hope everyone on earth gets a chance to explore this concept. it may be the only way out for humanity.

and if you want to understand the mind virus on a political level then the last book is gad saad another evolutionary phycologist who wrote this gem of a book and is also a lot of fun to hear speak on his many appearances on you tube.

the church at the enmore

i missed the soundcheck, not sure what happened but from the street it sounded amazing, and then i sat down in my seat, front row, and watched the lights go down, the band walk on and start playing immediately, and here we are, someone's waved a magick wand, maybe i'm in an extra dimensional shift, an alternative earth, a place where the church just played their oldest songs and it felt like you hear them for the first time, so mutated from the originals, enhanced and pulled through a .........................hypnoguage?

these are songs i have heard so many times, on record and often live, old faves, classics from the first four albums. i know these songs intimately, every note and now they have been changed so dramatically sometimes i feel like i'm listening to hawkwind, teadrop explodes, echo and the bunnymen, it's like all my fave bands blended up and channeled through this new band, the church playing old songs but sounding new. it's joyous, it's audacious and intelligent. i have a new fave band, it's the church. i really love this new sound. i really love the way they are playing now, it's no disrespect to previous members or gigs, they all had their time and the music was magnificent and brilliant but right now, right now, it's just new.

   

last weekend

the weekend is over, dead and buried. want to hear about it? read on.
as usual i'm exhausted from hard work, it appears everyone else is on a go slow or work avoidance regime and because they are not accountable to anyone everything is left to me. so after a long, long saturday i drive home feeling like i need 12 weeks in a health spa and a new skinsuit. my face haggard and weary like an old sailor my bones like lead and my fat head just pounding and throbbing like they are demolishing a city somewhere inside. i make it to bed around 9pm and am about to fall asleep. my telephone has had a flat battery all day and it's on the charger near my bed. suddenly it rings.

it's my brother, he's upset i can tell by his voice, he says very slowly and seriously, 'i've got to tell you something.'

my first thought is 'mums dead.'

he says, 'my flats been ransacked. it's been broken into.'

how this is possible i don't really know, it's in a very wealthy established part of london and has security and double locks. it's almost an impossible place to break in to. but whomever did this were professionals. old 'two tier' comrade starmer has just let out a bunch of rapists, sex offenders, robbers and murderers from over crowded prisons in the uk to make room for people who tweet and write anti establishment things online. consequently crime is at an all time high.

anyways they took some stuff that my dad had left us. 

it's not the money or value i was annoyed about but the fact this was my dads passion and joy, something he left for us. i didn't even see it, it was locked away in my brothers apartment, in his attic.

anyways i deal with him, i mean it's just good no one was hurt and the goods they stole are just things, so i help my brother try to get perspective. the forensics arrive and we say goodbye.

i'm missing my dad a lot this week. it's been strange as normally i don't really miss him like this, i want to speak with him, to have a conversation but he's not here. that's hard for me. i just want him to listen. it's frustrating.

sunday i manage to get up at 5am after about 3 hours sleep and drive down to north sydney for a market where i sell some of my books. i make about $50 but meet some nice people. 

a young girl about 16 and her mum. the girl bought my tolkien copies and i gave her some other books as a bonus. we chat a bit about 'the dark materials,' she tells me she's about to leave to join the coast guard in their air division patrolling australia's coasts, i like this girl, she's really nerdy and mature, she's intelligent and has a interesting librarian type of voice. then an old couple come along, very dark skinned the man has weird alien like teeth as if two sets deformed within one another. he's soft spoken in a fractured english but has good language skills just accented, as we discuss good science books and i sell him two books on quantum physics. i discover he is from sri lanka, in the north so i tell him about my trips there, how much i loved it. he said he was a hindu who was exploring buddhism, whereas i said i was more buddhist exploring hinduism when i was there. later a man came along to look at some thrillers and i recommended 'three envelopes' which he bought. it was a beautiful day, i was set up underneath a tree and all these weird flowers fell down upon me and the books, covering the whole spread in a strange surreal layer of blossom. later a japanese lady came to have a look, she offered me a snow pea from a bag of them and i like raw snow peas so i started telling her about my fave xmas lunch which we had once after a night clubbing, a fresh snow pea from my friend james garden. she found it funny that i only had a snow pea for xmas dinner that year. as we spoke i discovered she was a stall holder who made and sold cakes, she was just wandering around having a look at other stalls. we had a chat about baking, i explained how i can't bake very well at all and that i have a fave cake called 'lumberjack cake' which no one has ever heard of but i attempt to bake it and it always comes out different. she looked at me and smiled and said she sells 'lumberjack cake' so i went over and had some off her cake. it was perfect. we discussed the science of baking and art of cooking, obviously i am no scientist, i never measure ingredients and think in ratios, whereas baking requires that mathematical approach unlike cooking which i am good at. i tell her i will choose a book for her and return to my stall. somewhere around me a fight breaks out, i intervene and assist a young japanese family from being attacked by a north shore lawyer type with barbarian tendencies, the family are very grateful and come and shake my hand. 

later the japanese cake lady brings me a cucumber. i offer her ursula le guin's two volume collection of short stories, 'keep them,' i say. and strangely enough she has read and loved le guin's 'left hand of darkness' so we have a chat about that. how weird.

later she brings me a box of lumberjack cake as a gift.

this weekend

the threat of a train strike hangs over me this weekend. i have taken two days leave from work as friday evening the the are playing the opera house and saturday 'the church' are at 'the enmore.'

i am in avoca visiting a friends bakery, he notices the anguish in my face, it's a real possibility i may have to miss both gigs. i've considered driving in, but parking is impossible, plus accommodation is super expensive as the demand is so high.

and then at the final moment i hear the good news.

the the is incredible, matt johnson and his band are a tight outfit, the sound is crisp and clear and they are filming the gig. matt is super talkative something new, last time i saw him he was very introverted. i'm very close to the front, the first half of the gig is the new album 'ensoulment' which is as close to lenord cohen as i;ll see, matt just seems to possess that same gravatas, in a new wave type of sound.

the second set is all the old faves, starting with infected, it's everything you wanna hear, infected, armageddon days, sinking feeling, love is stronger than death, august and september, slow emotion replay, this is the day, heartland, dogs of lust, sweet bird of truth and lonely planet concluding with 'uncertain smile' and 'giant.'

the opera house was packed and everyone was up, dancing and grooving. 

 

 

i finished reading 'everything must go,' by dorian lynskey, a pretty interesting read especially if you're a sci fi nut like me. it catalogues various fears about armageddon from revelation, through to artificial intelligence, and looks at the ideas roots and the journey it has taken to current times. i learnt quite a lot actually reading this book as it was written in a very accessible style and hugely engaging. ironically a hopeful book when you look at human history and all the near misses we have had. there are various left wing tropes that pop up which is fair enough, without them the book would never have found a big publisher so all forgiven and it's certainly nothing major but it does make me wonder how a book about the end has a weird lean to the left. in the same way a review of the christopher nolan batman's films were savaged by the guardian for being...wait for it, to right wing and pro capitalist. sometimes people just need to enjoy a film about a man who dresses like a bat and catches criminals without over thinking. anyways, this is a great book if you consider science fiction as predictive literature, for it all starts in sci fi.

the day fades out, it's a spooky moon, a few ambient clouds huant the dark skies above. i'm heading down the freeway north, back home chatting to my guardian angel, she always guides me in, like a beacon as i ramble on, sometimes i wonder how she tolerates me. anyways when i arrive home my cyberpunk books are awaiting me. i'm happy i managed to get these half price as they are usually quite expensive, you know how it is for book addicts, books before food and all that. well it certainly has been books before bills, i still have telstra on my back for an overdue unpaid phone bill. telstra, the one company i loathe and hold in contempt in australia, apart from political parties and their institutions. actually they all just freaking suck and should be broken up into much smaller, more personable entities. i may be a capitalist but it's gotta have limits. no human should have any more than $5 million in cash, and a further $5 million in assets. any excess needs to be put into cleaning up the oceans, preserving nature and generally being constructive in the arts. i love elon musk and if you're a visionary in your field then they get exemptions, but government bodies do not. if you are a writer or musician that produces a quality result, you get funded to keep going. 'the church' would be funded every year to record albums, play gigs. christopher nolan, denis villeneuve and tarantino can be funded for their movies ect but generally they still only receive as a personal income up to $5 million. 

the problem with the millionaire types these days is they have no imagination, it's the same old boring stuff, day in day out. we all need something to change, some kind of new society. 

i gave my talk, it was okay, i remained polite and did not swear, i didn't want to upset anyone, i figured my presence there probably offended them anyway, 'who is this freak talking about energy fields and pattern recognition, about mind viruses.' anyways i was very mediocre compared to the lady who spoke after me. 

she was excellent, really 'cosmic' almost took over where i left off and sent the audience into deep space with her information about mk ultra, aliens, underground arctic bases, alternative timelines and how to navigate the dimensional shift. also she swore like a trouper. i really enjoyed her stuff, it was engaging, well presented and she's a familiar face from my avalon years. inspired! 

what a strange olde day for a geezer like me. i was exhausted last night, got home around midnight, couldn't sleep o i did some pottering around, at 4am i went to bed and slept 4 hours, then in the morning i took some plants out to catch the rain and sent some e mails, after which i went to the post office to pick up a package. then it was sitting at the computer to finish a lecture i'm doing tonight. it came out of the blue really, apparently they did flyers for it and i'm the last person to know. ha! you gotta laugh.

anyways, i am just going to wing it, i'll extrapolate my third part by throwing in some group work and audience participation, that should keep everyone on their toes while i have a snooze. 

anyways i did a little bit of writing and attempted to tidy up a few piles of books. it really is getting nuts with all these books everywhere.

anyways the stunningly intelligent and beautiful natasha was on a podcast i like 'heretics' which is fascinating and educational although it won't change any jew haters mind at all. i mean you can show someone a circle and they can repeat endlessly no matter what evidence they are presented with, 'it's a square.'

later i watched a documentary about a guy who returned to london after 10 years and couldn't believe what a dump it had become since his absence. i felt like telling him i left in 1988 and could see the signs and everytime i return it just gets worse and worse and no longer even resembles the city i was born into. that's okay sydney is home for me until i win the lottery.

ever since about the age of 20 i never liked the left wing side of the argument, it always stunk of some sort of intellectual elitism, the smug lies and distortions, the incredible hypocrisy, the way they hate the working class. i hate their stupid ideas, their ridiculous spokespeople and their stupid idiot drones who just repeat lies they have heard in their bubble where they cannot tolerate anyone with a different perspective. this little video actually gave me a lot of pleasure, it encapsulates my own argument very well as brendon o'neil one of my fave political commentators and writers hits the nail on the head over and over.

i'm happy trump won, it really gives me hope that the people of america voted for him, kennedy, musk and gabbord. very great individuals and a strong team, endorsed by megyn kelly, joe rogan and a host of podcasters who interviewed them. it was indeed a clever move to get alternative media to access the public because we know the mainstream media is a sham, it's a lie.

anyways watch and learn. 

perfect morning, dawn surfing with waves that reflect all i love about life. i wanted to stay in the water all day but commitments pulled me out. each wave came in at approximately 7 minites from the last but they were the right size and right force, i was lifted up and propelled forwards at speed, my solar plexus radiating yellow light. my mind clear and sharp in crystal lenses, base chakra crimson. the universe was bright, alive and sounding vital as though a terrible darkness and oppressiveness had been lifted.  after about 2 hours i emerged, had coffee with my fellow sons and daughters of neptune and heard a disturbing piece of information.

now i am an open minded guy, i believe in prophecy, i don't believe in prophets, but some guy was claiming today or tomorrow some terrible event will occur in sydney. he showed me a clip of the simpsons, homer tosses a prawn up and it lands on a telephone line. he squirts some cooking oil at it and accidentally falls into an open drain that connects to the gas pipe. suddenly a series of houses blow, then the opera house, then some skyscrapers, then the opera house and then we see australia break off into small islands. my friend claims that certain 'decoders' have translated this to mean that some catastrophic event will happen in sydney today or tomorrow. now i know a few schizophrenics that put together similar random information into some weird coherent pattern so i walk a fine line between what i believe to be true. to me it's bullshit but apparently several other people say the same thing. i will say i am very skeptical. for starters i don't get information from television shows. i love the simpsons, it's gotta be the best thing about tv but the writers are not seeing the actual future, they are very clever and funny but no more psychic than anyone else. what they can do is look at current events, trace patterns and make assumptions based on pattern recognition. this is what they have done in the past. what a lot of people don't know is the writers of the simpsons are mathematicians, scientists and philosophers. which makes them masters of logic, critical thinking and satire.

anyways, in 48 hours we will know but i am putting my $ on things remaining perfect in the emerald city. if you wanna get angry then there's always albo's insane cyber bill which was passed in the early hours of the morning. yeah, the one where if you post anything the govt. say is disinformation it's jail time. all well and good but the biggest source of disinformation is the govt. itself.

listening to the new mix of 'dream harder' which so far is actually much better than the official release, unfortunately it's not on hard copy but that may change as mike scott does tend to put out exceptional boxed sets so there is hope. 'good news' sounds amazing.

today i am out for breakfast with a new friend, i normally never bother with breakfast, coffee my only requirement but maybe i should have something fruity with lots of fibre. these are the strange and crazy things occupying my brain at the crack of dawn. i scrub my teeth, have a shower, get some clean clothes on, ready to roll.

i did notice steve is playing up the coast next year so i better grab a ticket this week, plus invite my new local posse whom i know would dig the experience. it's weird having friends. i'm not used to it. people call me up to check how i am travelling, people smile when i come along, i get invited for xmas dinners, bbq's and other things that i usually never do except alone. anyways that's kinda nice in me olde age to have good people around me. 

chat with jake for a while, he's getting ready to take the leap of faith, brave guy, it would be so easy to hang out doing the same easy thing day in day out but he's making a huge change and moving into the light. it's hard to believe he's 36 years old. fuck that makes me ancient really.

friday- i'm up early, like super early 5am, i potter around, do some reading, writing, watch some you-tube stuff, play some roxy music, then head off in search of a futon mattress to no avail. it rained heavy last night and i'm not certain what the day will become.  the mattress mission is a big fail, i have to give up around 11am and head over to ettalong beach where the ferry brings a friend over. we have a wander around the strange italian complex, do some business and then i drive back home for a little nap. at around 1pm i blast more roxy music, it gets me motivated. after putting something away i sit down for a reading session, which lasts a few more hours than i thought, but the time is 6pm so i have a bath and fall into a luxurious deep delta sleep.

sat- i wake up early again, answer some texts, then smoke a spliff and instantly fall back asleep. when i awaked i grab a water and my pills, and wash them down with some weed oil which then knocks me into the deepest deep sleep i have ever had, it's so deep imagine a black hole being swallowed by another. and in that black hole i discovered the whole off reality is a simulation, possibly within a simulation within a simulation ect. 

yes, and that's all before breakfast. 

for breakfast i actually cook scrambled eggs with a plunger coffee to accompany. it's actually quite satisfying. tasted great anyways. i listen to two podcasts that are political and capture the political simulated reality we have to live in at the moment, precarious. but we have been here many times and if you take that cosmic view (not a simulation)  we have been here longer than history itself. my hope is the normal people of the planet just wake up and see what's going down, i don't think starmer will last, i think he will cave in, the public hate him, he's fucked up, he's failed after a few months. 

anyways in the usa, anything could happen, i hope trump makes it past that line. i want him to, a lot of people will be able to breath out a lot of anxiety. my thoughts are the nazis, the real fucking ones, will stop at nothing to get him out the picture. i think it's very cool rfk and elon are attached to him, not to mention tulsi gabbard who is a very smart cookie herself.

in australia - ah one day it's fine the next it's not. i like the sun, the beach and a nice wave. that's when i am in my happy spot everything else complicates things!

i once met a girl in a club whom tried to convince me 'tool' were the most important band ever. my girlfriend marie and her were in deep conversation and they suggested we go outside to her car to smoke a joint and listen to a cd of tool. i was off my chops on an e so i was quite happy to tag along, although i knew tool were not really my kinda band.  in those days the city was safe, it had a friendly vibe and everyone had their defences down, you could talk to strangers, it was a good period. live music flourished, sydney was like a 24 hour city and at 1am the streets were crowded and pulsing with people. as we walked up oxford street about seven people stopped to chat with us, i looked good in those days, slim, healthy, kinda kooky and wild. i guess youth has it's advantages, the women seemed to like me.

in the car i skinned up while marie and her friend were in some sort of deep conversation, marie attempting to engage me in discussion as we were explained about tools lyrics, everything from dmt to child abuse. well in theory they sounded interesting but when she slipped a cd into the tray and hit play a horrible noise interrupted my peace. fuck me, what an awful noise, that wretched heavy metal treated guitar with an awful screeching vocals i could never understand without a lyric sheet. awful, my whole body tensed up, meanwhile the girls seemed to be getting along very well. 

i don't know, this type of music does not work for me. i mean in theory i dig it, yeah an out there kinda band doing risque tunes about heavy duty issues. it's all culture but i guess when i hear this type of music it makes me appreciate the music i like even more. 

anyways i smoked my spliff, on an eccy high with two stunning girls who were getting on in an intimate way at the back of the car and i stared out the window (occasionally in the rearview mirror) and although the music grated my nerves i felt okay, you know, it was a different time period, people wandered by on the street, lots of strange sydney siders at 3am either on their way home or looking for the next thrill. everything was good, except that awful racket 'tool' made.