i don't think my partners ever really appreciate my work and how it can interfere with a relationship due to intensity of the types of people i work with and the residual impact shift work has upon the idea of a social life. time is not broken into days, weekends, hours like the rest of the gen pop. it's a rhythmic routine only i can adapt to, but when you want to go to a dinner party unfortunately  i will not attend. 

it's like me turning up at their place of work and saying, 'hey let's go see a band.'

'okay babe, when are we going. i think andy and cath are free saturday night, we can grab dinner after.'

'no let's go now.'

'but i'm at work.'

yes, that's the fucking deal. i work antisocial long hours and am often dealing in extreme situations. i can't just leave clients and come out to a party. it's nuts and unhealthy. one day i will find someone who understands this aspect and is not so selfish they cannot tolerate it.