Thursday, February 22, 2018

after all these years, i have ended up where i am meant to be, in a unit i love, run by a great manager, a woman i really respect and admire, she's amazing. the ironic thing is our service is changing in march, it's being taken over. we are doomed. it's our last days, our dying days. 
i can't quite work out if i am unlucky or lucky. i arrive here six months ago  against my will, find it a great workplace and now in a few weeks it will be taken away. i'm unlucky. right?
but then maybe i am lucky to have found that place, even for a brief time it was amazing. my manager is amazing, and the clients are great. 
anyway. thinking about this paradox has sent me quite mad, lost my mind, my concentration is fucked, i'm so overwhelmed with paperwork, with reports i am failing in the total process of 'paperwork,' it's far to much in quantity, far to repetitive, and far to absurd.
however this lack of focus has given me a chance to do something i love doing, connect with one client and change their life.
so i am working with a guy in a wheelchair, and at first he wouldn't let me near him but he's got to know me now, and now we are friends. now there's a story of us, now i make changes, taking him from his old workshop into a new one. replacing his coke with beer, taking him out into the community for new experiences and adventures, pubs, bands and restaurants, he's doing normal things, making choices and smiling. 
    

4 comments:

Gandalf the grey said...

Pay more attention to your friends..
they are like flowers they wilt and die
if not given regular food and watering..
remember what happened to Narcissus....
He was proud, in that he disdained those
who loved him. Nemesis noticed this
behavior and attracted Narcissus to
a pool, where he saw his own reflection
in the water and fell in love with it,
not realizing it was merely an image.
Unable to leave the beauty of his reflection,
Narcissus lost his will to live.
remember those who love you
and your friends...facebook is the pool..
get in contact with your real friends...
....

captain mission said...

when it comes to friendship i choose the myth of damon and pythias, for narcissistic personality's demand time and attention whereas damon and pythias are just friends.

phythias is accused of plotting a murder against the controlling dionysius, he requests he is allowed to settle his affairs before being executed. the obvious thought that dionysius has is this is just a ploy and pythias will never return.
but in steps his friend damon whom offers himself as hostage should pythias not return as promised.
just as dionysisus is about to execute damon, pythias returns explaining how he was captured by pirates and escaped to keep his promise of return, and thus save his friend.
dionysius is impressed with their friendship and slightly jealously pardons both of them.

Gandalf the grey said...

Consilio, quod respuitur, nullum subest auxilium

captain mission said...

gandy

i don't know what your problem is man, what is it?
have the fucking balls to be direct and speak with me about what your issue is. i don't know why you think you can help me and what from, i'm not interested in being saved by someone who thinks helping me involves controlling me or making demands upon me i cannot meet.

you signed up to facebook, invited me to join your page with a mysterious message saying you will explain things later, i respected that and waited. and then i get these messages on the blog that allude to something i have no understanding off other than another demand for attention. i understand you must be lonely and require some attention, so does everyone in my life, including myself. unfortunately i can't devote my time to you alone.

i don't know how to be the type of friend you want. i work in a demanding job long hours, sometimes 18 hour a day, i work with people who can't feed themselves, are in wheelchairs and people who don't have the luxury of coherent thought as they are inflicted with serious mental illness therefore my work takes time and energy and when i am not down the beach healing from my job i am either sleeping or writing. i get one day a month to be social so unlike you i can't sit around on skype waiting to chat. it's impossible, even my son and i don't have this luxury so how about you understand and accept my fucking time constraints.

my friends are just easy going people who don't judge or make demands on me. it's that freaking simple..

sort yourself out and get back to me when you know what it is you want and when you can communicate without the fucking demands or innuendos, i'd like that. it would be refreshing for a change. if you want to save someone i'd leave me to my peculiar fate and save someone who actually needs a little help. maybe the old lady next door but seriously i'm not after a saviour at all. it's never been my thing.

now please sort your self out and i hope the friendship can resume when you have done that.

love

cm