heavy day at work today, a client smashed his head against a desk, it make the loudest 'crack' i thought a fire work detonated, he then smashed his fist into his chin and bashed himself up pretty badly. we managed to put on a helmet but he struggled and proved to be fearless. he even tried to bite himself. he's pretty serious, a hard case, self injures and has serious epileptic seizures. this is the side of autism you don't hear about, the side where they are so far removed from reality there is no way back. occasionally i get a glimpse of what's under there, through all that defensive shit. it's like a moment of clarity but it's far and few between. i administered a dose of heavy tranquilliser, he was calmer but it took a few minites. i felt like i needed one to, the shock of that whack really effected my fragile psychology. later at his psychiatrist i asked if medical marujuana could be used, it's very effective against autism and seizures. the dr. said there's no supply and people have been waiting for it for many years. most people waiting are in far worse condition than my client. 
makes you wonder sometimes.