snuff music from the deep fix part two

it starts with forgetting and remembering, for i am the strange loop, the deep fix is something stranger, snuff music was born out of subconscious impulses and connections, it is chaotic, random and fractal like, it has no place in the world and belongs in another universe, it is not space rock but inner-space rock, it is not trance music but trance dimensional pop, i am not the writer although i am the vessel, a mere conduit, the songs and ideas are points connecting but not in straight lines, the pattern is a narrative but it follows non linear path. it's secrets lay within its dark matter, it is fluid, mercurial, forming a hologram when completed, it has no value, it is neither good or bad, it is an important message or an insignificant blip upon the radar of human culture, it means absolutely everything and absolutely nothing. it may be disposable pop music and bad poetry, it's most defiantly crazy cosmic jive, it could even be trash or art. it does not matter, it does not anti matter, it is revolutionary protest songs for the revolution will be private, it will not be televised, it occurs within the mind of man and yet cannot be won with the mind of man. 


a few years ago i had a brain injury, it made me forget huge chunks of stuff and yet i remembered others that lay hidden before the accident. in fact part of my history seemed more real than the others parts, it was quite a peculiar thing causing lots of problems and thus creating new possibilities.
i had finished various conventional treatments and was in the process of integrating everything together so i could function reasonably well in the world again, meanwhile while all the memories of my esoteric life were present i began to map the process in chronological order, looking at patterns and events because i didn't know what they meant and i was suffering an existential crisis, i needed that one thing that life does not guarantee, meaning. 
i had taken apart all philosophies, all sciences, all religion and there were absences, every system was scrutinised, every one had validity up to a point but all failed me. the theory of everything can't be found in these forms. ideologies, beliefs, ideas about existence all seemed to reach a certain point and then start to collapse within their own foundations. take capitalism, that works to a point until banks are bailed out by the people who pay tax. that's what recently occurred, capitalism failed. those banks should never have been bailed out, it was a total anti capitalist move signifying it's failure. socialism, well lets just say that more people have been killed by socialist governments than by any other. socialism works in small communities, ironically kibbutz is a socialist environment that works, try running a country on these principles and all that happens is the population start spying on one another and individuality is lost, the drive to move forwards is lost, the need to diversify is lost, and the human spirit crushed. 
ayn rands book 'the fountain head' is a magnificent example of why the individual matters in a way that the mass cannot, we must find our place within the world as individuals. identity crisis is fashionably ignored by individuals and countries, who are you, what is an australian, what is human, what is one's duty to another, what is value, what is real, what is not?????


reading howard blooms book 'the lucifer principle' 
assisted understand why history was in conflict, what mysterious impulses are driving these forces and how we as a species were only just beginning to understand them. 
yet there was another path that understood this already through some serendipitous fluke it converged with my own, all the occult knowledge i had experience off, the crazy life i had lived, the random factor, the past lives that i had glimpsed, the future, the science, the mythology, the fictions and the facts, my surfing philosophy, inventions and imagination all seemed to come to or from this one single point. 


'the lucifer principle' puts forward this simple idea, that humanity is driven by memes and generally we can say some are better than others but they are always in conflict over history and we can see the way they have shaped our past, often violently. all because someone had an idea or the idea had them.