Monday, September 29, 2025

there's not much that pisses me off. my general theory of anger when i experience it is to just let it pass over me while I work out why i feel it and what i can do to prevent it happening again. it's unavoidable these days but fortunately my process eliminates it fast from my body and mind. anger is an energy and it has it's uses but at this stage in my life i'm not interested in that kind of energy.

one thing that does make me angry on a justifiably regular basis is the fact that car manufacturers no longer make cars that play cds. this does cause me considerable anger as i don't want to hear music on a stick, i like sliding that disc in the slot and kicking back on my journey, the soundtrack meets the landscape. that's just how it is for me. 


in red eye yesterday i managed to pick up 'speed of stars' new cd 'as italy dreamed...through summers of haze,' and although I have played it at home it's the music i would like to play driving along the coast on a hot day. i said to the guy in the cd shop as i looked down at the stacks of new cassettes, 'don't tell me cassettes are coming back into fashion?'
'yeah he said, they are getting popular.'
'i'm waiting for cds to comeback.'
he laughed, 'they are actually coming back as well.'

so there car manufacturers, cds will be coming back and you guys fucked up.

anyways i'm really loving, yes that's the right word, loving this album. it's so good, these guys have really created this suburb piece of music, it's exceptional. no fluff, no filler, just great quality songs. songs that make you want to drive, road tripping music. it's a good job i have a great imagination and if i close my eyes i can see the music play out in front of me as i drive my fiat down to sorrento stopping at some coastal village for a coffee and a crunchy italian busicuit, flirting with a cute waitress staring in my own movie with the perfect soundtrack. life.


Sunday, September 28, 2025


reading earl slicks book 'guitar' is filled with surprises but there's no surprise in reading how amazing bowie was at everything he did. the book itself is just slick just talking stories about his live and adventures with various people. it's an easy read and very worthwhile.



Thursday, September 25, 2025

the time melts into mornings, and the mornings melt into now. at the beach i watch the women pass me by, all out and about looking glamorous and busy, sipping lattes and walking fast in tight stretchy pants, smelling good and getting ready for the summer.
sometimes i get lost in women, it's like a magnetic force overwhelms my whole being and i'm just floating in some strange narcotic like fugue state, part erotic, part romantic, part fantasy and part pornographic hallucination. the perfect way to describe this feeling is via a beatles song, 'fixing a hole.' i'm not sure why, it just does.
i have a lot of work to do, read through a version of my novel, 'rites' and make some major adjustments at the end of the narrative, it skips a year or so in a time jump and i'm not sure if it works. i really need a second opinion. maybe it requires chapters. it certainly needs a change.
i surf at dawn, the water is cold but i acclimatise fast, there's not much of a wave but it does feel good. as usual the beach is filled with friendly locals and acquaintances, in the night time we watch the drumming and hula hoop fire twirling girls, i manage to score a free dinner and under the sprawling stars everything feels peaceful and in the right place.


Sunday, September 21, 2025

last night i'm having dinner with peter in avoca, we go for affogato in terrible at an exclusive restaurant where the dessert was more than the dinner. but it's good to see peter and we laugh at almost everything from the strange code we cracked of avoca waitresses to the crazy nightlife of terrible after dark.in the morning shayne picks me up for our weekly coffee and debrief, it's nice as we always drive to ettalong, 'the lords of pour' where they have an interesting menu. 

i make contact with the queen of the witches, she's a carbon template of my old twin flame, it's uncanny although i guess being an ex criminal lawyer puts her in a somewhat different type of bracket, yet she speaks identical, often repeating things the ex used to say. it really is bizarre. she is interested to get to know me, read some work, and i hers. the connection is very strong, even she agrees. the universe is kind to me, it does love and guide me and sends me interesting women.

i finish 'all fours' a highly praised national award winner. it's part of my commitment to read more female writers and as usual i am very disappointed. modern publishing is as tragic as the music industry and although many parts of the book are well written the novel is extremely self indulgent and partly ridiculous. i'm sure it will do well for the many young middle class women book clubs of the northern suburbs of sydney who have all the luxuries and domestic appliance's including husbands and children and fruitful careers yet still require fulfilment be it sexual or spiritual. oh how i wish i didn't have to finish this book, but commitment is commitment. 

at least now i can read something else. i need some violence, a male voice lusting after young women and gratuitous graphic content. or at least a great story.  i love the sisterhood but seriously what passes as a novel these days is just a DEI pick. i've always said, when a publisher approves a manuscript they should know nothing about the writer. nothing!







Friday, September 19, 2025




on perfect days i take a book down to the beach and read a few chapters in the sun soaking up some d from the source and say hi to a few passing folks and maybe grab a coffee and watch people move through me by while i think about writing new novels, character's, plot devices and arcs, various narrative inventions and how i would ideally want to tell and then read a story. sometimes my work has various magical themes, but whatever the project i'm involved in, there's always a certain amount of magickal development. even daydreaming which comes easy to me, as my novels and my life are the same thing.

so i'm now walking back to the car, i'm taking a long way around, because it's the journey not the destination and i'm pondering my long lost magical project, an invocation of hekate. the whole thing would take 8 months and although i've prepared myself for it the cosmos seems to always have different plans for me, and thus it remains at the back of my mind, perculating. but today it's not far away, as i wander along in my blissed out serene  tranquility moon base state of mind a car, a beaten up black jeep type pulls up right in front of me almost but not quite running me down. a window scrolls down and inside a young lady apologises, to which i reply, 'it's quite fine, everything's just fine.' and as i speak i see the lady is no ordinary lady but significantly beautiful, instantly alluring and myserious and all i think is i could just open the door and sit next to her. i don't care where she is going, i just want to sit beside her as she drives to her next appointment. we engage in some sort of converataion. she tells me she's a criminal lawyer and a writer and her name is aradia. 
'that's a beautiful name,' i say, ' it sounds like the name of a bright star or a galaxy.'
and then the car behind her starts to force it's way through so she needs to drive on to the main road but we are mid flirt and it's all to much, like the universe just started a stopwatch and has given us 5 seconds to seal the deal.
'but i would love to hear all about your writing' i say. 'i'd like to see you again.'
'how do we do this?' she asks.
and in that moment i knew. i would have taken a leap of faith. but i told her my name and said look me up. and she drove off.
and as i continued the return to my own car my heart. my mind and my guts were sitting next to her, sticking a church cd into her cd player and saying, 'listen to this, you're going to love it. and by the way. we are going to have a fabulous life together.'

Tuesday, September 16, 2025

about a year or so ago i read paul levy's book series wetiko series, something which resonated with me very much and continues to do so although i have many questions to ask him. the other day while scanning the net i discovered he had written an eloquent explanation of wetiko and i feel it's timely to share it with people. please read and think about this:

What is Wetiko

by

Paul Levy

A contagious psycho-spiritual disease of the soul is currently being acted out en masse on the world stage via an insidious collective psychosis of titanic proportions. This mind-virus—which Native Americans have called “wetiko”—covertly operates through the unconscious blind spots in the human psyche, rendering people oblivious to their own madness and compelling them to act against their own best interests. Wetiko is a psychosis in the true sense of the word, “a sickness of the spirit.” Wetiko covertly influences our perceptions so as to act itself out through us while simultaneously hiding itself from being seen.

Wetiko bewitches our consciousness so that we become blind to the underlying, assumed viewpoint through which we perceive, conjure up, and give meaning to our experience of both the world and ourselves. This psychic virus can be thought of as the “bug” in “the system” that informs and animates the madness that is playing out in our lives, both individually and collectively, on the world stage.

Before being able to treat this sickness that has infected us all, we have to snap out of our denial, see the disease, acknowledge it, name it, and try to understand how it operates so as to ascertain how to deal with it—this is what my book Wetiko is all about.

The Normalization of Wetiko

A few years ago I ran into a friend whom I hadn’t seen for a while. He asked me what I had been up to. I answered that I was writing about the collective psychosis that our species had fallen into. His response was telling. He asked me what made me think there was a collective psychosis going on. His question left me speechless; I literally didn’t know how to respond. What made him think there wasn’ta collective psychosis going on, I wondered. Could he give me one piece of evidence? Our collective madness had become so normalized that most people—my friend was extremely bright, by the way—didn’t even notice.

Many of us have become conditioned to thinking that if we were in a middle of a collective psychosis it would mean that people would be doing all sorts of “crazy” things such as running around naked and screaming, for instance. This ingrained idea, however, gets in the way of recognizing the very real collective insanity in which all of us are—both passively and actively—participating. If we want to envision what a collective psychosis could actually look like, it might be a real eye-opener to realize it would look exactly like what is happening right now in our world.

What Is Wetiko Really?

Wetiko is a cannibalizing force driven by insatiable greed, appetite without satisfaction, consumption as an end in itself, and war for its own sake, against other tribes, species, and nature, and even against the individual’s own humanity. It is a disease of the soul, and being a disease of the soul, we all potentially have wetiko, as it pervades and “in-forms” the underlying field of consciousness. Any one of us at any moment can fall into our unconscious and unwittingly become an instrument for the evil of wetiko to act itself out through us and incarnate in our world. If we see someone who seems to be taken over by wetiko and we think they have the disease and we don’t, in seeing them as separate we have fallen under the spell of the virus ourselves.

Wetiko induces in us a proclivity to see the source of our own pathology outside of ourselves—existing in “the other.” Wetiko feeds off of polarization and fear—and terror—of “the other.” Seeing the world through a wetiko-inspired lens of separation/otherness enlivens what Jung calls “the God of Terror who dwells in the human soul,” and simultaneously plays itself out both within our soul and in the world at large. Wetiko subversively turns our “genius” for reality-creation against us in such a way that we become bewitched by the projective tendencies of our own mind.

Falling under wetiko’s spell, we become entranced by our own intrinsic gifts and talents for dreaming up our world in a way that not only doesn’t serve us, but rather is put at the service of wetiko (whose agenda is contrary to our own). Our creativity then boomerangs against us such that we hypnotize ourselves with our creative genius, which cripples our evolutionary potential. To the extent we are unconsciously possessed by the spirit of wetiko, it is as if a psychic tapeworm or parasite has taken over our brain and tricked us, its host, into thinking we are feeding and empowering ourselves while we are actually nourishing the parasite (a process which will ultimately kill its host—us).

In wetiko disease, something that is not us surreptitiously, beneath our conscious awareness, takes the place of and plays the role of who we actually are. Shape-shifting so as to cloak itself in our form, this mercurial predator gets under our skin and “puts us on” as a disguise. Miming ourselves, we become a copy, a false duplicate of our true selves. We are then truly playing out a real version of the imposter syndrome.

The Sickness of Exploitation

Wetiko is powerless to control our true nature, but it can control and manipulate this false identity that it sets up within us. When we fall under the sway of wetiko’s illusion, we simultaneously identify with who we are not, while dissociating from and forgetting who we actually are—giving away our power, not to mention ourselves, in the process.

Disconnecting from our own intrinsic agency, we open ourselves to be used, manipulated, and exploited by outside forces. Indigenous author Jack Forbes, who wrote the classic book about wetiko entitled Columbus and Other Cannibals, refers to wetiko as “the sickness of exploitation.” Wetiko can be conceived of as being an evil, cannibalistic, vampiric spirit that inspires people under its sway to take and consume another’s resources and life-force energy solely for their own profit, without giving anything of value back from their own lives. Wetiko thus violates the sacred law of reciprocity in both human affairs and the natural world as a whole.

The main channel of wetiko’s transmission is relational. It exists through our relationships with ourselves, each other, and the world at large. Like a vampire that can’t stand the light of day, the wetiko virus can’t stand to be illumined. However, in seeing how it covertly operates through our own consciousness, we take away its seeming independence, autonomy, and power over us, while at the same time empowering ourselves. The way the vampiric wetiko covertly operates within the human psyche is mirrored by the way it works in the outside world.

Jung never tired of warning us that the greatest danger threatening humanity today is the possibility that millions—even billions— of us can fall into our unconscious together in a collective psychosis, reinforcing each other’s madness in such a way that we become unwittingly complicit in creating our own destruction. When this occurs, humanity finds itself in a situation where we are confronted with—and battered by—the primal, primordial, and elemental forces of our own psyche.

The Internal Origins of Wetiko

The most depraved part of falling under the thrall of wetiko is that, ultimately speaking, it involves the assent of our own free will; no one other than ourselves is ultimately responsible for our situation. There is no objective entity called wetiko that exists outside of ourselves that can steal our soul—the dreamed-up phenomenon of wetiko tricks us into giving it away ourselves.

People under the sway of wetiko are implicated in and willingly subscribe to their own enslavement. They do this to the point that when offered the way out of the comfort of their prison they oftentimes react violently. They symbolically—and sometimes literally—try to kill the messenger who is showing them the path to freedom. Ultimately speaking, in wetiko disease we are not being infected by a physical, objectively existing virus outside of ourselves. Rather, the origin and genesis of the wetiko psychosis is endogenous; its roots are to be found within the human psyche. The fact that wetiko is the expression of something inside of us means that the cure for wetiko is likewise within us.

If we don’t understand that our current world crisis has its roots within and is an expression of the human psyche, we are doomed to unconsciously repeat and continually recreate endless suffering and destruction in increasingly amplified forms, as if we are having a recurring nightmare. In my language, the inner situation within ourselves is getting “dreamed up” into materialized form in, through, and as the world.

In waking life we are continually dreaming right beneath the threshold of consciousness, especially when we are under the influence of our unconscious complexes. In other words, when we are “under the influence” of our activated unconscious, we will unknowingly recreate our very inner landscape via the medium of the outside world. What can be more dreamlike than that?

What is happening in the world today is reflecting—and both literally and symbolically revealing to us—something unknown within our own psyche. At the same time, in a nonlinear acausal feedback loop that happens both atemporally (outside of time) and over (linear) time, events in our world are informed and shaped by the very inner psychological process they are reflecting. The inner and outer are simultaneously co-arising and reciprocally co-evoking each other. This is to say that what is happening within us and what is arising in our world have a mysterious interconnection; the inner and the outer are ultimately not separate nor separable.

Recognizing the correlation between the inner and the outer, between the micro and the macro, is the doorway into being able to see wetiko and wake up to the dreamlike nature that wetiko is simultaneously hiding and revealing depending on our point of view and level of awareness. Recognizing the connection between what is happening out in the world with what is taking place within our minds becomes a channel or secret doorway that leads beyond our merely personal psychological issues, empowering us to deal with the essential problem of our time.

Dreaming Wetiko

The wetiko psychosis is a dreamed-up phenomenon, which is to say that we are all potentially participating in and actively cocreating the wetiko epidemic in each and every moment. Like a collective dream, the wetiko epidemic is the manifestation of something in our shared collective unconscious taking on material form. Wetiko is literally demanding that we pay attention to the fundamental role that the psyche (the source of our dreams) plays in creating our experience of ourselves and of the world.

Forgetting the crucial role that the psyche plays in creating our experience, we marginalize our own intrinsic authority, tragically dreaming up both internal and external authoritarian forces to limit our freedom and mold our experience for us. Never before in all of human history has our species been forced to confront the numinous, world-transforming powers of the psyche on so vast a scale. Even with the ongoing multiple catastrophes that are converging in our world, it is not beyond the bounds of possibility that the darkness that is emerging today might become the soil out of which a regenerative age and nobler culture arise.

Although the source of humanity’s inhumanity to itself, wetiko is at the same time a potential catalyst for our evolution as a species. Recognizing the dreamed-up nature of the wetiko epidemic can become the impetus for us to awaken to the dreamlike nature of the universe itself.

In a circular process without beginning or end, we are being dreamed up by the universe while dreaming up the universe at one and the same time. To see this not only demands that we have an expansion of consciousness, it is the very expansion itself. The less wetiko is recognized, however, the more seemingly powerful and dangerous it becomes. Wetiko can only be seen when we begin to realize the dreamlike nature of our universe, step out of the illusory viewpoint of the separate self, and recognize the deeper underlying field of which we are all expressions, in which we are all contained, and through which we are all interconnected.

These are interrelated insights of the same multifaceted realization. The energetic expression of this realization, and the wetiko dissolver par excellence, is compassion. Connecting with the compassion that is our nature we find ourselves in very good company. Being the unmediated expression of recognizing the dreamlike nature, compassion reciprocally co-arises with lucidity. In other words, if we’re genuinely awakening to the dreamlike nature of reality, both lucidity and compassion will be inseparably united components of our experience.

As if an instrument of a higher intelligence, wetiko literally invites—make that demands—that we become conscious of and step into our intrinsic creative power and agency, or suffer the consequences. Instead of mutating so as to become resistant to our attempts to heal it, the wetiko virus forces us to mutate—to evolve— relative to it. Wetiko is a quantum phenomenon, in that it contains within itself the potential to be either the deadliest poison or the most healing medicine. Will wetiko destroy us? Or will it catalyze our evolution and wake us up?

Thursday, September 11, 2025

driving into the moon, the road is crystal clear, an envelope of magical light surrounds the freeway as i cruise along north bound, into the deepest parts of lunar projection. that massive bright satellite fills my network, messages from other places transmitted long ago received finally after static interference from humanity, it only takes solidarity and solitude. 
i turn off the freeway and follow the path home, as i take a right turn there she is up there directly ahead, that strange biscuit shaped circle, a super-moon about to eclipse. it's a wonderful thing to behold.

fathers day, i can't help but think about my dad, so many things he just didn't understand about me. it makes me sad that there was this chasm of misunderstanding, he just never understood me. i guess that was that generational thing, that gap people speak of from the 50's to the 60's only i was not even part of the hippie movement, i was alone and belonged to no movement, belonging to no one thing. a satellite like the moon. a super-moon.
anyways my father is always there, everyday, a ghost in memory form, a vast part of the past i always attempt to project into the present. light takes time. it has it's own speed. 

i speak to my mother, she's scared and alone. she lives in fear, it's frustrating the hell out of me but i have no influence and when i attempt to communicate to those that do i'm literally snubbed. i've given up attempting to even communicate now. that connection has been cut, my efforts to fix them have been pointless.

for the next two days it rains, heavy misery but i'm hibernating indoors, getting through some stuff i need to do like the bathroom spring clean, some mopping and polishing. still far to much clutter i need to get rid off but slowly i'm actually getting somewhere. i'm also developing a sore throat so it's plenty of lemon and honey tea, lots of sleep and recuperation from battlefield work.

Friday, September 05, 2025

at terrible, crack of dawn the sun is out and the skies are blue, it's simply a wonderful spring day filled with potential and could go anywhere. i'm sitting down head into my james blish book, and my skin feels the sunlight, that wonderful burst of energy as my bones drink it in and heat pulsates through me, vitamin d straight from the source. i see my friends heading towards me, and we chat and swap stories, particularly my friend danni who gives me a lesson in artificial intelligence, she's a very smart lady who is also very funny and always manages to make me laugh. she's actually very smart and is a bit of a business woman so i'm grateful for her help, she offers to come around and train me. we look at the world passing us by, it's amazing what a sunny morning can do but through the corner of my eye i see the southern horizon fill with heavy rainclouds and the dark underbelly cast a shadow as it grows and expands. the temperature drops rapidly, the energy changes fast and i make my excuses and head home. as i drive big droplets of rain fall on my windscreen. 

by the time i am home the clouds have burst open and i have to run through the house to get to the clothes line where my washing is hanging, grabbing everything and hauling it indoors. the temperature has dropped significantly and it's colder than usual. spring in sydney.

i sit down for a moment to gather my thoughts, uncertain what i really need to do, at some point in time i need a hair cut and beard trim, whenever i cast my reflection i feel that what looks back is an older version of me, shabby, unkept and wild, and although it really doesn't bother me to much it would be true to say, i'm  overdue for a trim.



Tuesday, September 02, 2025

for me it's like being in medieval times, surrounded by accusers and conspiracy people who have gone so far down the rabbit hole they cannot actually think outside it. while i cannot disprove their nonsense, it's all based upon ignorance, even if i could the facts won't change their minds. i cannot blame them, they are just confused by irrational fear, almost hysteria. 

so, the skylight is being finished and it's a messy job, as i type there are two tradies australians call gyp rockers who in english are plasterers and they are finishing off the work on my roof. this is a big change in the interior, light will flood the dining table and thus the energy will change. i'm specifically thinking about full moons.

at the beach the surf breaks perfectly and there are a handful of people without wetsuits swimming, friends tell me the water is warm, however i may give it a few extra weeks as the cold immobilises me, but the call of the ocean is strong, it's really is.

the james blish novel, 'black easter' is a bit strange, there's so much description of magical rituals and paraphernalia, magick appears as complex as engineering or a well disciplined science and the plot is kinda insane, a black magician is consulted by a very rich arms dealer to eliminate the governor of california, and then a scientist. this being a trail test for the arms dealers true desire, to unleash the gates off hell upon the world, just to see what happens. obviously the magician he has chosen to do this is very powerful and possibly the most interesting character in the novel. he's almost bored by the tasks but testing his powers. the big twist in the story being the retreat of god, therefore the demons cannot return to hell. 

i'm enjoying reading it except for the magick which is far to ritualistic and medieval for me, however, the point is made well.