exhausted, obliterated and feeling very frail after my last stint at work, i finally have a few days to myself, i really need a long break but will have to wait until next year. for the moment i am just home-bound, which suits me. the weather is perfect so i head out to the beach for an early morning peek, the ocean is lovely, i've missed it. the day blooms into productivity, i potter around doing various chores, paying bills, writing letters and doing laundry, all the boring stuff while listening to 'tears for fears' new album. yes, not rock and roll but very good and under rated, i've always had a soft spot for them as they are actually interesting song writers. 
there's no doubt, the weariness is in my bones. i'm fighting a virus, building up immunity, attempting to get my body ready for boxing next week. fighting fit.

  

my last day to myself, it's been wonderful although i've run out of available cash and i feel like my throat has swallowed a cheap packet of sandpaper, never mind, it gives my vocals a sexy deep heroic vibe. the rain last night arrived later than i thought, it was heavy but not enough to spoil this mornings surf. the water is clean and pumping along nicely. i slept deep last night thanks to my cbd gummies, wow, the sleep of a king, and dreams to match, i can't recall them at all but i know they were wild. a lot of unfinished conversations but the rest is all a bit hazy.

mission control is still cluttered and needs a clear out but i am getting there and it is clean. i've started to read another non fiction doorstopper that's keeping me amused and educating me in all matter of things apocalyptic.  it's a shame dads not around, he would have loved chatting about this stuff. apart from that i started watching a show called 'the romeo section' about spycraft, it's quite good but not quite 'berlin station.'

i did have a small conversation with mum who has just been released from hospital, it was very tricky as she wasn't making much sense and i may need to call again later when she is more relaxed. we don't know if it's serious or she's being dramatic but i wanna stay on top of it as best i can from afar. i'll give her a few days recovery and check in early next week. i don't know but at this point in time i just want to stay alive a bit longer. i feel exhausted from life but also in its thrall as new people are popping into it. things could get interesting again. 

a well rested captain mission heads down to terrible beach, the surf is beautiful, i meet some locals and we end up drinking coffee talking about various exploits and our adventures. i must admit the sun was glorious today, it was soul nurturing and after several hours i began to feel so much better it must be the vitamin d, it has totally recharged my battery. we all laughed and drunk out tumeric coconut lattes while an array of people passed us by, some joined us for a chat and others just smiled at this diverse group of locals, a motley crew basking in the sun.

i was tempted to enter the ocean today but i held off and will go for a surf tomorrow, either before boxing or after. if the day is splendid as today has been i will just hang out there all day, i mean fuck it, why pay hundreds of dollars to travel somewhere hot with a nice beach when there's one right outside my front door.  

 i feel a bit run down so a week off to recharge is in order but today i hauled myself out of bed early as i had no food, had to go to the post office and pay a bill, and pick up a package and then to the chemist to pick up my medication and finally to buy some groceries. i don't like to take time off work but i feel so exhausted i have to prioritize my own health first and this week i will nurture myself. i made a huge pot of soup and settled down to catch up on a few things but my internet was down so that required a fix that took most of the day. ah technology and me, we just don't seem to be friends. 

in the late afternoon the sun came out and the birds started chirping again, i saw a huge blue tongue lizard in my garden, it was really big. at some point i need to plant my cactus-henge which will have to be later in the week, and i do need to arrange some weeding but for the moment i'm happy just to get cozy, watch some tv shows and read my book.

back into the grind, long hours and not much sleep. the old bones rattle and creak. my teeth are missing, my head throbs with the visual mix of a work environment, a home environment, the beach and the road, that endless road that takes me there and back. i feel like i need a break from it all but i can't take one right now. 

however i have just finished the coming storm by gabriel gatehouse a journalist for the bbc.

before i start, let me just acknowledge how much i despise the bbc and all the idiots who think they are serious journalists and yet work for it. i stopped watching and taking notice of it in 1989 when i began to see how manipulative an organisation it was and what propaganda it promoted. i was a silent minority that is currently quite a large proportion of switched on political animals who regard the bbc as nothing more than a propaganda arm of the establishment. not even the british establishment but the globalist one. having said that i occasionally dive in just to see what the enemy is doing,  and i usually find my decisions are enforced by the biased and myopic views of what i call activism disguised as journalism.

the coming storm is a look at some of the far right conspiracy theories in the fringes of the usa, and now possibly in the majority of the population, although by a slim margin. the main conspiracy revolves around the usual anti trump stance taken by the bbc, and gabriel begins looking at the clintons. initially i figured this may be the exception to the rule where he begins to notice certain annomoles ignored by the mainstream media. he delves into various far right thinkers and writers, some are not far right at all but it seems to be his mindset that anyone outside the bbc's world view is an extreme far right fascist. in parts there are sympathetic elements, he acknowledges certain failures of the clinton obama and biden years, but predominantly the spotlight is upon trumps failings and the people around him. fair enough, but as the book progresses the topics he tends to cover remain inconclusive because the truth takes place over time, and this book only covers up until early 2024 before the linkage of pedophilie rings that extend from hollywood into washington. the book should have been pulped and republished in early 2015 because by now all those conspiracy theories are coming together as truth. the hunter/ biden laptop, the weaponization of lawfare against political enemies, the capturing of global media working with big tech, the insurgency being a staged coup by the cia and the fact sovereignty is now a huge political issue.

i didn't mind reading the book, it's good in parts and interesting but it really leaves out important facets and others remain unfinished. it's not the writers fault but the publisher, the bbc. 
the most fascinating chapter is the last where gabriel looks at the chat gpt next gen open ai which is known as Q!
in conclusion i have to agree with his last line that concludes the book.
'buckle up.'

the king in yellow

 

fuck me, i have a day off. rejoice. 

i wish the weather was better but nonetheless i am grateful to just have some time to breathe. it's been draining my batteries, not just work but the dramas around it. and on top of all the drama there's a weird issue i have with all the technology at work, 3 computers that would not work, meetings on the run and very important information being wiped by a computer upgrade. 

anyways the only way out is through so i enter the furnace and walk out the other side stronger. i have been a tolerant man but there are limits to my tolerance. 

at the end of it all i proved myself correct, i nailed this problem a long time ago and then took a back seat collecting evidence and gathering intelligence because eventually the situation would reveal itself for all to see. and it did, and now i am vindicated. 

so yesterday was exhausting.

now i move forwards.

i find myself doing something weird this morning, eating egg salad. i eat a load of it and then at dinner tonight i am so ull i just sip on a glass of water watching everyone else eat their meals. it's nice, a bunch of open minded people gathering once a month to swap information, i hear about a few interesting things, a court case in the usa where a county wins a legal battle to remove fluoride from their drinking water,  i learn about the dangers of 5g radio towers and nutritional values of certain vegetables and fruit. eat organic or perish. anyways the evening is great, catching up with my morning pals and making new acquaintances, particularly a guy who may help me make 'gummies' and we have the same passion for music as well. the church, nick cave and the the. i'm looking forwards to learning more about cooking and gardening from this man, he's very switched on, a kiwi masterchef, maybe i can finetune my baking skills.

she is hekate, the empress, the diviner and receiver of knowledge,  the feminine principle in action radiating from her throne of aquamarine,  turquoise and emeraldine. feminine and priestly, the witches witch, the truth and the Truth, she is the mistress of magick, the seer of souls, the wand and the wave, the holy baby long gone, adoration and devotion, the essence of the spell caster, she is divine intuition, thou shall have no other goddesses before me. before me only you. after me only you. that is the way of the way, and so it is.

you may not know me, it is forbidden. this was carved in stone upon my birth, the cosmic principle has ordained me with great utility, the heavens unto the earth. the great symbol, the holy key of knowing, while you have the implications of not. i surf the cosmic freeways but have no place to go so i contemplate upon my throne, the divine manifestation of light. the planets sing my name, in orbits immortality ordained, thou shalt not, decay. thou shalt have the power cosmic and ride the waves through galactoseismology and intuitions name. so it is.