here's something.
many years ago i sought out some teachers or mentors, i kinda looked for people who actually had something to teach me. i'd exhausted myself with most possibilities, everything academic is pointless to me, the last thing i wanted was to be brainwashed. i didn't really have the interest in any type of practical knowledge, the world is filled with left brained folk. i needed something that i was naturally inclined towards and on a completely different perspective than the single dimensional consensus reality. 
my education needed to come from some sort of mix mash of magickal perspectives, transpersonal stuff, spiritual, political and art. 
i'd just finished learning to be a transpersonal art therapist, and i had found the content really good but the teachers were not teaching me, i had begun to teach the class including the teachers. i say this without any attachment to pride, that was just the way it was. 
so i had followed a few teachers through the years and one that i noticed i had never really explored was the dr. whom headed an institute which i joined. i remained a member until he died, the dr. mentored me in the most personal way, he enjoyed my writing and often wrote to me and suggested areas to explore and books to read. hyatt was a student of regardie and regardie a student of crowley, he was also a good friend of tim leary and robert anton wilson so it kinda felt like there was some authentic lineage, i have no idea why it found me, i certainly am only a writer of such things not really a teacher but there it is, i was in the good drs. skool writing essays for him .


i won't go into detail but recently i found a book he sent me and began to randomly read a section which i believe to be very interesting.


the frontal lobe - executive rational thinking centre, are influenced by the lower brain, the lower brain is not easily influenced by the executive thinking centre. this alone has overwhelming implications.
what we think and our motivations are distorted by our innate nature, but not the other way around.
the primary forces are fear, aggression and power.
we are inherently irrational although we are capable of rational thought.
in addition the protracted state of dependancy and defencelessness of the infant make it highly susceptible to imprinting and learning which is very difficult to erase as the organism matures. thus errors and irrationality of the previous generation are easily passed on.
the belief that education can modify errors and innate tendencies are more a dream than actuality. so called socialisation will just disguise what is there and make it more difficult to redesign ourselves.
we are the only living creature that can redesign ourselves, however this fact horrifies the monkey man or girl. few humans can think clearly about their own lives and thus transform themselves. 
another difficulty is the lower brain talks to the higher brain and influence it as well as talking amongst themselves. this means that while some early conditioning can be modified the high brain will default to low brain imprinting.
another design issue is the fundamental fact we are social animals. the part of the brain where memory is stored are at various distances from the part where emotional activity functions, closest are memories related to human relationships, next animals, next tools. so our highly dependant periods of imprinting act as they are more or less hard wired. this has vast implications.


i miss the dr. he was quite a character, had a voice like tom waits and like all great masters made me laugh as he changed my brain. 


there are three truths. your truth, mine and THE TRUTH in our two realities, yours which is toxic and destructive, you will see everything from fear, everything is distorted. manipulated to bend to your will, conform until your overt gratifications are met. 
mine which is nowhere near perfect truth and i accept that, comes from a place of no fear, and only love to see you and your child safe free from the poisons that will destroy you. there are no other agendas, no other hidden motives, get the message now. get close to the truth. you say you cannot afford nappies because i will not put money in your account, that's a lie born from your fear and guilt. i will not carry that. stop buying your e bay glamour bullshit, stop drinking, stop smoking, stop fucking blaming everyone for your circumstance princess of whale beach in your beautiful home, stop hurting yourself by deception, stop hurting the few people that really do love you, stop it now, let the fucking past go old friend, let it go and be born again (not in a christian way but some thing very sexy) you have permission old friend, you really really really do.