oh it's about 2am and i am wide awake, mum and dad have sold their house, they have been asked to move out, actually they were supposed to move out the day i arrived but it appears they have been offered a few extra months which enables them to find somewhere new rather than a temporary transition. they have decided to move into the centre of london after we leave. mum says she no longer cares about the big house, she just has to move somewhere smaller so she can look after my dad who is having trouble climbing up stairs. for a moment i think even i have trouble climbing up stairs but the words fortunately don't leave my lips. age has crept up on dad, it's shocking to see and learn that he has lost that vitality and strength, he's in that holding pattern with the knowledge that days are numbered, we all are i guess. this creates tension, because part of me wants to talk about this with him, i really believe this is why i am here.
i was there for my uncle and mentor gabriel, nursing him through his cancer and assisting the process of helping his family understand the letting go, that's what i have found the most difficult part about death, the ones left behind have not quite made their peace, they are the ones clinging onwards, often the individual who is dying is ready but feels guilt or responsibility. i'm not saying that once some one is going to die everyone should just let them die, but once the person has made the decision people should enable that. i guess it's grace i am talking about.
all my work with the ayahuscia has shown me there is intelligence after death, something off us continues, my own past lives are as clear to me now as my current one, sometimes clearer. GOD in it's million different forms gives us a brain and a mind and a body but the spirit is his. having died a few times myself i am positive this is cool.
so captain's mission is to assist transition and transmigration of the spirit onto it's next stage, i may not be there for this moment but i can offer my perspective in subtle ways without freaking anyone out. i am well aware of how taboo this area is, i am not a stranger to how people see me when i talk of death but when you 'know' something is true you stop caring about what others think. ask any one in an institution.