deep in the bowels of downtown seoul, away from the neon glare and hysterical shop fronts sits captain mission waiting for dawn, he is a strange man, fat and slow with a silly moustache and oriental like beard. the locals fear and respect him, they call him captain chingu, i don't know what that means but everyone seems to use it. i'm drinking something called oolong tea (although i call it oblong tea) which tastes like smoked wood. the old lady says it's good for my blood, i say my bloods in bad shape, she says drink and pours me more. an older man, maybe her husband is showing me a map, he hardly speaks any english but his eyes communicate well, he's showing me where he lives, near the yellow sea.
the yellow sea, i've been here before, i met the yellow empress here a very long time ago, she taught me some tantra, although now it is unrecognisable, with the high ways and neon roadsigns ever changing, the traffic and pollution.
the old man offers me a smoke, it's not a cigarette so i partake, it goes down well, familiar but within seconds i feel nausea.
there's a little time shift, some lighting change and the old man is younger, he is a warlord riding a beautiful white mare, i am his prisoner, thats right, realisation, he is the yellow emperor and i was sleeping with his wife. i am tied and bound and kneel before him. he pulls out his sword. his eyes are not so kind now. the vision fades in and out, time shifts like water and i finish my tea. the old man stands up to say good bye, i put some change on the table and bow.
back at the hotel i shower and watch some weird tv show, i read a little and then think about how everything comes back in patterns, there's no escape from unfinished business. it's like a 12 step program, (i needed a 12 step program to quit you baby) you have to make amends and correct mistakes. this is what i have to do, go into the heart of the storms and make it still, do my best to heal myself and those i care about.
it's true i can do this, i got powers even i don't understand, so here i am about to return to london, to strange family dynamics and ways, to repair things that need repairing and make peace.