ice age five, that's what the experts called it but for me it was just the white age, it had been like this since i was a child and the forecast was not changing for the next thousand years.
i'm not quite sure how i survived all this time, most didn't, luck i guess was smiling down on me, but i'm not sure if it was good luck. 
i was alive, survived the catastrophic climate shift, the big freeze.


i took my beasts down for food, they hunted in that frozen wilderness and managed to find a lone killer whale which they began to devour in some sort of ecstatic carnivorous state. 
i walked over the snow field where the shopping mall lay buried under 60ft of ice and snow and there they were in full frenzy, their fur covered in whale blood, the orca looking like it had been dropped from an aircraft and hit the ground in a jackson pollock like explosion, entrails and blobs of blubber carpeting the area. you would see the strangest things sometimes, things from civilisation sometimes just surface, useless things, coke machines, cars, computer screens and a wide variety of frozen creatures, once i even saw a mass of snow frogs jumping across what used to be the ocean. 
i sat down and rolled a smoke, watched the beasts eat their prey, they left a strange cathedral of bones and then slowly made their way back up the hill towards me, i could see the exhaustion in their movement and the blood drunk satisfaction in their eyes. they fell around me in a deep sleep.
i wasn't planning to stay out here long, i had a purpose so after i finished my joint i wandered down to the hole.
the passageway was a man made tunnel with a wrought iron step ladder down to the bowls of the mall, it had been cut away a few months ago by the survivors but something had happened, they never returned. it was probably that they had decided it was safer down there after all there were supplies for many years, all kinds of things, products from the old days. 
but the big freeze had a way of leaving clues, blood stains, currents of scent, frozen entrails, corpses and the occasional recorded document. 
that was what returned to me yesterday, the only evidence of the team.
the camera was strapped to the back of a wolf, he had come running into the cave, he was wounded badly and died shortly after. the camera was dead but it's components seemed to be in good order it would need a charge and given the generator was very low it took almost a day. 
i looked through the screen and pressed play, what i saw was the mall team, they were recording themselves as they progressed downwards, it appeared everything was fine, they filmed at five minute intervals, they seemed in good spirits, these people were about to start a new life away from the cold, underground in the shell of a shopping complex filled with products, they had every reason to smile.
then the last section, from right out of nowhere pure fear, screaming and hysteria, what was obviously panic as the camera moved all over the place, i slowed the image down and watched it in freeze frame, it just happened so suddenly, one second they are descending and all is well the next minute all hell breaks out and i can see someones mouthing something right at the camera, they are trying to say something but there is no sound on the recording.
i play it back a few times until the 'low battery' warning appears, i can't decipher the words so i let the tape run onwards.
the camera is passed along, upwards along the ladder until it's with the last in the chain, or now the first so instead of travelling down, it moves up and fast. for a fragment it points below, you can see the rungs but nothing else, the ladder disappears into a void no sign of the team. then we are on the surface, snow falling heavily, the viewfinder explodes with light, she clambers out, the camera points to the wolf pack, it's attached i can see her hands fumble as she links the camera to a collar and then the woman says something into it and then screams silently, she is thrown backwards down the hole head first, something wrapped around her neck and pulled her in so quickly even on freeze frame it's blurred and indistinguishable. it happens very fast and once again i slow down the freeze frame to see if i can translate her speech but the film is grainy and i can't really tell what the words are. it really don't matter at the end of the day, the fear in her eyes says it all.
so here i am, i figure i've lived most of my life, lifespans are short in the big freeze, i don't know how many humans are left, somewhere there would be but these where the only ones i knew and they vanished down the hole, curiosity is built into dna, any sentient life form exhibits curiosity, they also have the will to survive and live but the big freeze had even frozen that. all i had left was curiosity, the fact i may die was something i had come to terms with many years ago, living out here in the cold wilderness alone was much worse than death.


i step towards the hole and peer down into the darkness, i switch on the flashlight and follow the beam, nothing is revealed, a few snowdrops caught in it's cone, the black slippery ice covered metal of the ladder and the waiting abyss. 
everything i carry is designed to keep me alive, my suit is state of the art, my gloves allow a certain dexterity and my boots have a lightweight yet sturdy feel, i can be nimble and agile, yet secure. i have a belt filled with weaponry and a map of the mall embedded in my memory. it took me weeks to charge the batteries for the flash lights, and electronic charges on the claymores, everything was in good working order, i did my final check before i began my decent.
the black ice formed around the rungs, my gloves had a gorilla grip high friction layer that enabled them to act like velcro. 
as i climbed down i looked up at the circular shaft surprised to see the beasts peering down at me, their heads formed a ring around the entrance and then they began to howl.
i'd heard about individuals who descend into darkness, it seemed metaphorical, but for explorers it was part of the territory, this was mans fate, to bring light into darkness or have darkness engulf them. i took each step slowly, and when the entry point disappeared into a final dot of light i switched on my boot lights which illuminated from the sole outwards therefore i could see below. 
i calculated that it would about two hours of climbing until i saw the surface of the mall. legend had it i would exit in the food court but i couldn't be certain, it may be just as lightly as i emerge in the lingerie store. 
i focused my thoughts, about now was entering the zone where the attack had begun, i needed to maintain concentration and keep my eyes below. my breathing slowed and synced up with my movements, my eyes scanned the depths, occasionally i would stop moving and listen, it was silent except for me. 
half way through the zone i noticed the blood stains illuminated in shadows, lots of them. i got the terrors, it was involuntary, a shaking and rapid heartbeat, fear seized me, surrounded by nothing i couldn't take my hands away from the rungs, i couldn't let my foot follow their way down to the next rung below, i was in the grip of a terrible panic and my eyes started to water, my tears wouldn't freeze due to the saline but it left a burning sensation upon my cheeks, i tried controlled breathing and eventually the panic subsided. there was something awful about being here, alone, if i were trapped in space i would at least have the stars to look at, orientate me, but this was hell. the light beams didn't help, all they did was accentuate the depths where isolation meets the unknown future terror. i was tasting my first terror, it swarmed my body like a just like a wave washing over me and gradually after about twenty minutes it passed and i regained control and started a movement downwards.
it was laborious, meditative, finely focused concentration, everything else obliterated, all emotions, all thoughts, all identity, i was just a machine putting one step below the other, my body was a sequence of piston movements, even my breathing was machine like, there really was nothing left until i saw the ground. 
the sensation of two feet on a solid surface was almost delirious, i grabbed my gun and surveyed the area to see if it was clear, i noticed i was standing in a pool of blood, it was frozen. i carefully stepped out. 
there were some objects from the previous team, a backpack, some torn clothes, a hat and a book, i picked the book up. it was a bible, there were also two skulls, stripped of flesh, one connected to a spinal column.
i could see that there was a trail of blood leading away, i guess that i would be following that but first i needed to get my bearings.
it was not a food court at all, it was a department store, i remembered my parents taking me to one when i was a child, it was a vague memory, i couldn't trust if it was real, but i seemed to like the idea that once a long time ago i had parents.
i was definitely in the furniture section, there were sofas and reclining chairs all around me, there was a huge four poster bed that had caved in on itself and there were once magnificent rugs hanging from the ceiling, there were lamp stands and dining tables and chairs, most were water damaged and had icicles hanging from them like some form of gothic grotto. there was a lovely looking leather chair, with a footstool but as i got closer i saw it was covered in some sort of mould and then i realised that the mould was everywhere. that was why everything looked the same brown black colour. i moved away, unsettled by the sight, following the blood trail, yet determined. 
weaving out from the furniture section, past the kitchen applinces i imagined how luxurious all this stuff would be in my cave, but useless as well, it would take a kettle 48 hours to boil given the generator was so primitive, i smiled as i walked past the pizza makers but when i saw the carving knives i grabbed a few and shoved them in my back pack. 
the trail led out of the department store and into the main hallway of the mall, it was dark and gloomy and looked like a collection of shadows from a cave system. the fungal growth was everywhere, and i noticed if i kept shining light upon it it would change colour and go from dark brown to bright red, and much to my surprise it would move away. it was not the moulds avoidance of light that freaked me but the speed at which it reacted. this stuff moved fast, very fast.
in the corridor i could see the trail just went everywhere, it spread out in all directions, bits of bones, photographs of families and loved ones, wrist watches, jewellery, trinkets and teeth all scattered in the most random way. 
i found an area near a mobile phone shop where there was bench i could sit upon, i needed another smoke and a drink wouldn't go amiss. i opened my flask and took a hit of the whiskey, a quick internal glow spreading much required heat through my cold system, good medicine. i made a mental note to stop in the bottle shop and pick up a few bottles if they had any left. i had already made a mental map of where it was, not far from my current position. after a rest i figured i may as well go help myself to some goods, i had prepared a mental shopping list, alcohol being number one. 
i only drank the best whiskeys, they had to be the glens, nothing else. i had always been a snob when it came to drinking. it was a shame that the weed situation was dire, there was nothing left, just my  remnants that would be gone very soon, i had made that bag last about five years and now i had enough for maybe two more joints. one for when i get out of here and the other on my birthday although i had no idea when that may be, the sequence of time was remarkably difficult these days, the seasons were frozen in winter permanently, days and nights blended into one, the body just follows it's own rhythm. 
i wondered how the beasts where doing. i rechecked everything, the compass was working, lights, gun charges, the claymores, my suit was still charged, all good. i stuffed the flask back in the backpack and tried arranging the knives so that there was a bit more room. suddenly i became aware something was happening, i spun around, what the fuck was it, everything seemed in place, nothing had changed but it felt like something had. i felt a million eyes looking at me but there was nothing, still my instinct was good, i trusted it completely.
grabbing the bag i hurried along the passageway, past the card shop, past the dvd shop and past the shoe shop, there was the big supermarket, and attached to that would be the bottle shop. i strode towards the entrance.
i needed matches, nylon washing line, clothes pegs and soap, i needed tins of food and if possible some toothpaste, maybe grab a new toothbrush. i needed a lot more but i couldn't carry it back up, i could always come back next month i guess, design some sort of pulley system, but my optimistic plans were cut  short, the isles were all stripped of products however there were some things left that i could use, razors, the matches where there, some batteries, some oil. i stocked up on what i needed and headed for the bottle shop. there were two bottles of ardberg renaissance, i was overjoyed. this made it all worthwhile. i stuffed them into the pack and zipped up. i decided to return, the chances of finding any survivors was slim, the idea of staying down here any longer seemed crazy, i wasn't sure what i could do, it was a need to check there were no survivors, i figured i would just investigate and grab some supplies but the investigation was leading me to gruesome death and carnage, wild wolves maybe, some sort of animal had killed them it was obvious no one had survived, i didn't need to know anything else.
weighed down by my supplies i headed back, my legs were starting to ache, i was feeling the strain of extra weight. being down here in the miserable dark spooked me, i could feel a strange sensation inside my chest every time i took a breath. i checked the chronograph, i had already been down here for two hours, i needed to return to the surface, the two hours seemed four hours to long. i followed my way back past the bones, glancing at them as i moved past, something wasn't right, they had moved. the air was getting weird, i turned up the light source from my suit and moved into the department store. my mind running internal computations, what had changed down here, something must have moved the remains, something must be stalking me, it was psychological, they were trying to freak me out, they were doing a great job. i spun around, movement, the floor, the fucking mould, it moved again, i was certain, it rippled, it was rippling. 
i focused the beam onto one area and watched, the brown mould turned bright red and then started dispersing, it lifted off the floor in spores and swirled before me. i kept the beam on it watching mesmerised as it began to form a shape, a face first, and a body. it stood before me, in under three seconds a body had materialised bright plasma red and made from the spores, it was human shape but obviously non human. it towered over me, part of it's body seemed to swirl around my head, and i could see the billions of spores moving as though in a swarm. suddenly i panicked, thinking i may be breathing some of the spores into my lungs, perhaps that was why my chest felt so weird and then i started hearing voices. 'sentient life form, we inhabit host mainframe biological, chemical composition alien, primal matter, singular, host biomass centralised vessel nerve centre, control initiated.' and then i found myself walking with the strange shape before me. it had control of me, my body, planting it's thoughts in my mind, it had entered my body as i had feared, discovered my central nervous system and ingrained itself, communicating with me like a parasite. it was explaining in thought form and words, although the words were disjointed and originated from my own vocabulary, it explained that it required assistance, it reassured me that bore me no ill will, that it was peaceful and intelligent and did not understand itself, it had no memory of it's own history, it found itself alive and yet it had nothing except the will to live, the need to avoid bright lights and the requirements of a damp environment and organic matter, dead would do. as it engaged my brain it was able to self reflect using my terms of reference, it was indeed a new life form close to mould, yet it was highly intelligent and had recently gained consciousness. the organism had found itself everywhere, separate as individual and then came together, it could adopt any shape and form, appear in three states, gas, liquid and solid. 
i requested that it leave my lungs. it did, it even repaired some damage. the mould or fungus was now physically existing within the organic structure of my brain, interconnecting itself with my thoughts, i was part of a hive mind yet i was also independent. 
'what happened to the other ones like me?'
'the grotesque creature skin razor bladed, dark being, dark being, dark being took life left dense white matter structure. dark being bad, dark life form dangerous, dark life force violent...' and on it went, descriptions came from my vocabulary to explain what the mould had witnessed but it was indescribable my language had no term of reference, i just figured something very bad had killed the team. 
the mould was helping me, it entered into my legs and gave me strength, my body felt very strong, it analysed my bloodstream and cleaned it up, filtering and purifying freeing it from toxins, my body felt completely different, my eyes started to see clearly even though the lights from my flash lights were fading, my sense of smell could pick up things in the mall with extreme sensitivity, the good stuff, i knew where and how far away the perfume dept was, distinguishing each brand with it's unique scent and i knew the same about the rotting flesh we walked towards. there they were, up ahead, a pile of bodies crammed into the chemist shop. it was spilling out, there were so many, it was not just the team in here, hundreds of teams, squished up into a mass of remains, they must date back fifty years at least. i couldn't make out much detail as the bodies had congealed into one mass of frozen remains, bits of faces, some hair here and there, an eyeball, there were fingers, legs, bones but no real meat left, whatever had done this had taken most of the meat off the bodies.
i indicated to the fungus that the dark being was not just bad but dangerous, that i would track it and kill it if they helped me, the fungus agreed providing i would help it understand what it was. 
whatever this dark being was it was moving fast. i sniffed the air, and my tongue rolled out and picked up various vibrations. i could locate this monster, it was on the west wing, the far side of the mall. i emptied my bag and left the explosives in them, four claymores. i grabbed my knife and a gun and started running down the corridor  to the west. i was moving fast, faster than i have ever managed before, it was as though gravity was weakened, the fungus creatures or creature had adapted my physiology completely, my thinking was precise, no sluggish thoughts anymore, no fear, no aching weariness. i would find this thing and kill it, i was certain. while i interfaced with the fungus i knew it was a harmless life form, very intelligent in a different way from animals and humans, it was not a destructive force at all and needed me to destroy the monster, that was the trade off.
entering the west wing i could see how damaged the area was, shopfronts had been smashed and goods spilled out from their mouths, part of the roof had caved in and a huge frozen ice block blocked part of the hallway. it reminded me of the cavern's in the nordics, as i walked up to the block i could see it was an upended double decker bus, it was standing on it's front end, there were faces staring out from the windows, frozen in panic. i shone the flashlight up, the bus would have fallen through long ago, covered in snow and ice formed a huge pillar. some of the frozen faces looked so young, it made me sad they had met their fate this way. 
the monster was nearby, i could taste it's movement, feel it's heat, it was lurking. i planted the claymmore devices and tucked a knife into my belt. i never used knives but it seemed pointless to under utilise my weapons. 
the thing was fungal, it was exactly the same as the red stuff inhabiting me, but this was white. it came at me from snow around the bus block, just wrapped itself around me in a closed circle and started closing in. the gun fire cracked through the halls and echoed, the bullets went through the thing, right through the spore surface although the noise seemed to slightly repel the wall. leaping forwards i slashed at it with the knife, nothing, just tears that immediately healed themselves, then the red spores inside my body began to rise to the surface of the skin, there must have been billions of them as they left my body and formed a wall that met the monsters wall. stalemate. i felt my human condition return, it hurt. 
two mould beings, one sensitive to light the other sensitive to sound, one needs living flesh to feed from the other dead matter, one was almost shark like in its instinct, the other whale like, one i could interface with...i engaged with the red mould form, i had an idea. 
the interface would be risky but it may offer a solution, the red mould form would inhabit my body and allow the green mould form inside, using my brain i would act as a negotiator and see if we could find a way out from the problem.
the green mould entered, it was no different from the red physically, but in my head i found it difficult to distinguish so i made them speak in turn.
the red mould wanted food and silence. the humans brought noise and made food, it was natural for the red mould to silence the noise and use their remains. the green mould wanted dampness and dark and rotting dead remains. i could see a solution forming but it would mean finding a suitable supply, perhaps the dead could be thrown down into the hole, first the green mould would feed and grow then the red, the two mould forms seemed in agreement and i was certain word would spread that all the dead could be disposed off down the hole, almost like an offering, a sacrifice.
the surface was filled with dead, mostly frozen and buried but they were there, only a handful of creatures and humans survived the big freeze. it was not a perfect solution but it would do for the moment. 
i deactivated the claymores and headed back for the hole, i had suggested that the red mould stay in the centre of the mall while the green have the whole west wing, if they ever felt like cohabitation they should try it, diversity is healthy i informed them. they were part of the same thing, connected despite their differences.
on the way back the red mould enquired as to what it was, it needed an identity and meaning. how had it come into to being and why did it existed, it had trawled my mind and was baffled by the idea of a god and various philosophies embedded in the architecture of my thoughts. i explained the philosophy of humans was about answering these questions and it was understood most other lifeforms on earth don't have a line of enquiry, that humans had no answers and that it was all a mystery, even after thousands of years of contemplation. i showed it the two schools of thought, one science the other intelligent design, i also showed how the two converged, perhaps the designer uses evolution so we can adapt on our own, nothing would surprise me, every life force has to find its own answer, i said. i could feel the mould entities trawl through my neuro-theological domains and i could almost intuit it's responses.
the red mould seemed to like the idea of an intelligent designer,  the green liked the science, rational, logical and evolutionary survival seemed to fit its nature, it was strange that such brutality, the loss of the team and all the people had ended in a philosophical discussion about the nature of life with their killer. after thanking me they separated and left my body, i gathered my stuff, and headed towards the ladder.
climbing out the darkness revealed a pinprick of light that grew and grew until i was engulfed with its illumination and the peering heads of the pack.