there is no doubt, i am a mad crazy fool, sailing upon an idiot wind towards the rocks or the sandbanks in my search for buried treasure. it's out there, far away but close and despite the past, despite the warning signs, despite the challenges and resistance, like oddessus i must face the fear and do whatever i can to return. 

was it sabotage, where you stolen from me, was it just your wild untamed youth or my stupidity, i was true and true missed the target. it lost the war, defeated it lost everything but it was subjected to a strange rebirth in a new direction, and i let things go. and you in your unique beauty were held captive by monsters and i was under the spell you were happy. i would have busted down doors to free ypou but as usual i'm the last to know. and i end up last. 

but that's okay, i rather go down in love than stand in hate. i've known both and i know what i am true to. it don't make me better, it don't make me worse, it just makes me. and here i am again.