what a strange day, i get stopped in the street by a greens candidate, she's spruking votes outside a supermarket, she must have thought i'd be a sympathetic supporter of the alternative party, instead i blasted her with a tirade of anger, it just exploded from me, as i informed her about their twisted manipulative use of the environment to swindle us all into debt, their relentless anti semitism, their lack of love for any democratic principles, their global agenda, the wasted money on harebrained schemes thought up by visionless do gooders, androids and zombies, how their stupid stubborn policies have resulted in deaths at sea all because they could not accept john howard was actually correct, yeah it's not easy to say or write it, but it's the truth. i gave it to her good. and then i pop in for a quick tea with agent stone and she asks me some simple question about some stupid thing and i blast her in a rage against the greens, yeah call me unfashionable and right wing if you like but i'm not stupid and don't like being treated as if i am, poor agent stone, i have to apologise as i leave and then finally in the bookshop where i meet a very lovely canadian lady whom i am strangely attracted to despite the fact she's probably just far to young for me, i blast her about the olympics and how wasteful it is, what a distraction from real issues and how australia is beguiled by sporty things as opposed to the arts. we start talking about my travels through canada and my adventures with various canadian girls, 'they are like elves, popping up in my life, here and there, naughty little elves causing mayhem,' to which she replies, 'i was a store elf once, during one christmas,' to which i reply, 'well there you go, they can say about me, he never wrote his book, directed his film, made his mark on culture but he was undeniably king of the elves.'
at which point the beautiful elf girl and i started laughing, how utterly ridiculous my day has been.