Sunday, June 09, 2024

shadows. they flicker on the edges, they move in and out of sight, hiding behind other dark areas, stretching out into my world, contracting back into others, always just out of sight, always avoiding the retina's memory. imagine the jekell to mr. hyde. we all have a shadow, jung understood this and suggested we meet it. 
set in contemporary times, a young professional let's say the daughter of a famous politician starts having strange episodes as a young girl. hallucinations and psychotic breaks. the parents race her to a psychiatrist where she is given medication. 
later in her teens she goes off the rails, sex, drugs and a few assaults, she's bailed out a few times, on remand and eventually threatened with some form of institutionalization.  she is prescribed various new medication and therapy. 
10 years later she marries and has children, but gradually begins to develop compulsions, impulsion's and neurosis that results in aggression and violence. she murders brutally, just for the thrill. 
a physic detective tracks her down, captures her in a trap using his secretary as bait. the authorities are shocked at the fact such a privileged personality could be responsible for such depravity. she goes to court for trail. 
her defender argues the case, she did not commit the murders. a separate part of her did, a part that was her shadow and had split into it's own persona. this is the part that must face trail but since it is impossible to separate the two aspects the case must be dismissed. physiologists are flown in to give evidence. psychiatrists follow. the nature of the mind is now on trail. 
the judge is frustrated with the evidence, he is confused by the whole argument, science says one thing yet his moral code says another. the jury will decide and he will announce their verdict.
the jury are given the evidence. they cannot decide and spend a few days in discussion, contemplation and disagreement. eventually they are pursued by the science, trust the science. she could not be responsible and punished if it was a separate persona that committed the crimes. but how can the persona be punished?
the obvious answer is therapy. during the sessions a childhood trauma is revealed although the details are repressed, hypnotherapy and some ketamine therapy reveals them to be of a violent sexual nature, after which the psych fractured in a form of disassociation, the shadow was born.
the shadow and the original persona are at odds, one wants to dominate and take control, it needs to express it's urges and compulsions no matter how taboo or perverse they are. it loathes the original considering it weak and pointless, a victim. from the depths of inner space it whispers it's degrading abuse towards the original, cruel vindictive statements, gas lighting and chipping away at any confidence the original has left. however the therapist is clever, he knows what's going on thanks to the hypnotherapy where he has access to the new persona as well as the original. it's a process of integration, however the new persona is far to calculating and independent to want to join the original, it's selfish self destructive desire is to dominate the whole body and mind relegating the original to the darkness if not obliterating her. 
the therapist digs deeper until they come to the core of the event.the actual moment of assault and abuse, the point where the personality fractures. glue won't fix it, neither will memory or forgetfulness.
only acceptance and then reclamation of the whole, the new integrated person, shadow and light. it won't be harmony but it will be peace. sometimes you have to let the shadow out to play but negotiate how dark it gets. mostly stay in the light. forgive yourself. 


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