my fat head hurts, all afternoon listening to a whining woman from nepal talking about how good she is, blah blah blah, all afternoon. it's almost painful, like hot wires fusing in my head, this ego on legs doesn't know when to stop.  i don't know if she's in love with me, jealous of me, hates me or just wants to fight but it's almost impossible to deal with. she calls me autistic and suggests i don't like change, in front of autistic people, one of whom is hitting himself as her voice volume increases and grates whatever shattered peace we have. 'i have no problem with change, it's you i don't like,' i say. i don't mean to be rude but she is relentless and getting personal. every time i work with her, it's like a boxing ring, competitive, antagonistic and oppositional. i don't get paid enough for this shit. sometimes i just wanna walk out, sometimes i just wanna go on workers comp and fix the damage my job does to me, not the clients but the idiotic people i have to work with. i'm trying to build a safe therapeutic environment for people with mental health issues and this is the type of moron i have to work with. it's becoming a joke. i have to shake it off, like a bad energy. toxic. 

the next day she is fawning all over me, calling me very romantic, kind, compassionate and a great cook. it's nuts, i put it down to some lunar feminine influence, i mean what else can i do.

it's a strange few mornings, the water looks amazingly calm, and then there's some big waves, energy in the air warns of storm but don at the beach we smile, laugh and joke around. lots of people wanna take me out for dinner, i don't know why i'm so popular, girls call me on dates, far out. but work is in overdrive, with so many things i have to do, there's no time for socializing this week, the long weekend is upon us soon and i will be working right through that, and then hopefully a few days off, time to play.