my first hit of blowback knocked me out, i phased out and saw the room, my room, cosy comfortable, dimly lit, bohemian type lounge with the soft flicker of candles and the soft cushions strewn across the floor and the wonderful sarongs with their vibrant colours and patterns, i saw them all and then they just slipped away.
i was back in 1977, london, i was in my skinny skool kid body, awkward and absurd, driven by hormones i was obsessed with kim power, she was dressed in her tight black jeans and a david bowie tee-shirt, she was smoking a french cigarette and had a hot pink electric guitar on which she was showing me how to make a c minor. still my fave chord, there's always romance in c minor. she had beautiful lips, my hormones were screaming for me to kiss her mouth but i was so nervous i could only try to be cool and fail.
kim power was the coolest girl on planet earth and it was our first date. we were sitting in her room, she was playing me some bowie bootlegs, 'live at reading polytechnic 1972, the one where he plays waiting for the man as an encore, i'd never heard it before, she had a pretty unique record collection, turning me on to the new york thing, she played me some patti smith and skinned up a big spliff, her mum came in and gave us a parental look, and some tea in big mugs with some biscuits. i felt embarrassed and didn't know where to look. 
later kim took me out to see, wait for it, 'adam and the ants and the au pairs' at some small little club in london. it was before they were a pop band, they were actually quite good, so much energy in a room you could literally feel the electricity, that was it, i was never the same. london went from being a city of grim depressing rain to an explosion of possibilities, everyone started bands, everyone tried to be different, everyone kicked out the jams and did it themselves. i discovered my inner punk although i often got beaten up for it, teddy boys and rockers used to ambush me as i walked home from skool, even the teachers hated me and kim power, but we had one another and that was the thing, although she was never my girlfriend in a romantic sense we were close enough to share one another and we were joined at the hip, so when people picked a fight with me, she would always have my back, and she was a good fighter, better than me. she set the template for me, what i wanted from a girlfriend was someone that would fight in your corner when the chips are down, it's a rare thing but wow, it's amazing to have that kind of support, the only girl who i did get that from was agent stoned who was pretty good at defending me when i needed it, most girls kinda have this intrinsic behaviour where they secretly align themselves with the strongest, the bully. what is all that about? evolutionary psychology i guess, there's something very dangerous about the way a girl can rejoice in humiliation. i saw it a lot and it's a warning sign, i see it in wives with their husbands, although one could argue it works the other way around. i don't find it attractive at all, in fact it's the worst quality in girls, that kind of joy they feel when the man they apparently like or love is humiliated in front of them, kim power would defend me  under any circumstances, she would never let anyone try to intimidate or threaten me. that was very cool, respect.
anyway, she went on to become some sort of rock and roll wife to some american pop star, i went on to berlin but i'll aways remember her in her skool uniform with a blue mohawk and safety pin ear ring. 
sometimes under blowback i drift back to that time, listening to albums, digging the scene, dressing up in our carnaby street clothes and going out into damp london streets looking for some action, rock and roll dreams, screaming 'let me outta here' the blank generation, we were out of our minds on the future and now i'm smoking blowback, spending time in the past with kim power.