i must thank some readers for their comments, i do appreciate them, even though some ended up in my spam folder i tried to publish them, although in some cases they were quite old and i have probably pissed you off or upset you, enough for you to no longer follow me, that's cool, i understand, sorry, i don't mean to.
anyways for those that send messages, thanks, sometimes they get lost, i have lot's of trouble with blogger it sometimes looses my posts and comments. 
i have never encouraged commentators, as the blog is primarily my diary or journal, my ideas, projections and thoughts, dreams, fears and sketchbook for my unconscious, i am very surprised people do read and follow me, if you can grasp what i am attempting to do you will understand but none the less, they do encourage me and feed my requirements as a writer, which i guess is to be read.
if you are a new reader please understand that the blog is not me, it can't be, it's just my writing. i'm not out to promote anything, no ideology or compliance to doctrine, everyone should find their own truths. mine spill out as part of a writing process, sometimes it's authentic, sometimes i am in a persona i am exploring, an aspect of myself, most of the time i am not using my mind, it's just flowing from my muse.
even when i'm expounding an idea, it's just an idea, i am not attached to it any more than any other, i don't know if i am right or wrong, i don't care if my idea is good or bad, it just is what it is, an idea, fleeting through my head at the time. i believe everything is fiction, only unconditional love is truth but i also know there are things beyond love, areas of space and time that can be transcended, forces that are cosmic and in our humanity we can barely perceive them but we can feel them intuitively. magick is a way to do this but generally traditional spirituality offers many paths. i believe that god has two aspects, the unknowable which is there, and the knowable which is manifested as the goddess. this universe is the goddess, it is comprised of information, diversity and life. it's purpose is hardwired in all living things, to love unconditionally or at least evolve to a point where it can love all creation including it's enemy in the way jesus may have taught. these acts of love forgiveness and grace allow the goddess to unite with the unknown god and this uniting is divinity. and in divinity we escape suffering, duality becomes the singularity.
that's what i believe anyway, the mind is a trick, a tool that ironically is not needed to know itself, in fact it can't be used, the way it knows itself, that's why the ego is dissolved through spiritual practice in most good disciplines although there are more painful fast cuts it's not recommended to try them. through the mind the universe is infinite possibilities and variation, everything that can be imagined becomes. 
let me just say now, i am still struggling with this process, it's always evolving, always changing as my circumstances change, the ego is a tricky character but i know mine fairly well and i can trick it back these days. 
i don't know that much despite my readings, but i intuit that love is really all you need, unless you're an explorer like me. if you have seen the film prometheus there's a scene at the end where the female character makes an unusual decision. (don't read on if you have not seen it)
there she is having escaped certain death, she's given an option, she can return onwards or go further into the rabbit hole and attempt to get an answer. her choice is the same as the one i would make. i liked that bit, it would be the same decision i would make.