the juice fast has a serious down side, this seems to be a period of down sides, maybe all my down sides have arrived at once. it appears that if you detox seriously your body goes into some sort of toxin discharge, which mine proceeded to do with most enthusiasm and vigour. oh my, after about 6 hours of feeling vital and energetic i suddenly went into a cold sweat, i got the shakes and my head started to throb, my body started an epic evacuation which i will spare you with and i don't think i have ever felt so weak. 
i've been told this is quite normal if one is fasting or detoxing correctly, the body discharges itself of all toxins and poisons in all manner of ways. i found myself unable to do anything in this state, it was like a crazy junk sickness. from thursday evening to monday morning i slept and did my night shifts in this weird state, i did not eat or even drink anything except water. on tuesday morning i woke up early after my first sleep at home, i had been through a night of dreaming, all of which i can't recall details but it felt as though they were more nightmares. my sheets were soaking wet from sweat. my phone was ringing, it was my attorney tim asking if i wanted to come on a bush walk. outside it was pouring with rain, miserable and damp everywhere, the last thing i felt like was hiking through the bush but he insisted and then told me he was outside.
north head in the rain is like i imagine tasmania to be, it's wilderness enough for a city dweller like me, it's wild and covered in a fine mist and the australian bush even at 7am still has an air of menace despite it's beauty, i must admit i was not enthused. we drove further into the bush until we could not travel further and then in the pouring rain we started our walk, i counted seven different types of rain, from misty fine particles almost invisible to the naked eye right up to huge downpours like a tropical storm. my tee shirt was soaking and my feet were wet and covered in mud as i trailed behind tim who was wearing a bright yellow shirt. the wildlife was there, you could hear it, and when we travelled deep inside the bush far from all recognisable signs of human existence i saw a wild kangaroo, although tim said it was just a big wallaby. he stared at us from a few meters away, his big eyes not trusting us enough to come nearer, i can't blame him, i'm sure his type have been hunted for years in their genetic code by the bipeds, and recently by the death machines on wheels. up until now the only wild kangaroo i had ever seen was roadkill on carnage highways.
we moved onwards, as i must admit i felt the serenity, the peace descended upon me, and i understood the bush a little better. we followed a trail downhill, muddy and treacherous, the dark greens of shrubs and swampland now dotted with rich black shapes and huge boulders, a few trees stood like burnt sentinels, remains from the bush fires that swept through this area twenty ago.
tim points out an aboriginal burial ground, and we both pay our respects. you would have to be a fool not to, you can sense the change in energy in this area until we pass through. 
down we go, into the valley, walking, covered in mud and sand, soaking wet, and then back up for the return. i find i breakthrough some point, energy returns, i feel vital and strong, i become indifferent to the discomfort and my senses begin to experience the delight of the moment, being alive, living in life. depressions are lifted, clarity is unveiled, we wander back to the car and drive to the lookout.
yonder palm beach peninsular, i can see my house, i look out at the ocean soft and still like a dark glass surface, the skies grey and blackened by rainfall, everything looks perfect, all is well. there is an upside to downsides it seems.