here at mission control the lights are low, the candles are lit and incense burns softly (if such a thing is possible) i am about to drink a massive dose of ayahuscia.
i will file reports as i go through the night.
i'm feeling hot, flushes of heat and i hear nature outside over ride everything else, it's nature calling the night in. i've just written to my dad, i was terribly rude to him this afternoon on the phone and now i'm feeling guilty. anyway it was a good letter. i never felt close or open with my folks, they were very judgmental and had antiquated ideas about child rearing, my mum was very radical but not that loving, not in an unconditional way and not in a way that love should be demonstrated but they were products of their age as am i.
they did their best and at this stage in life i feel i can be open and honest with them, i made mistakes to, i was a terrible youth.
anyways im healing.

i recently felt the presence of alien beings intervening in my journey, they were very intrusive, sucking things from me, making incisions and placing things inside me. i was scared as this is outside the realms of my normal aya experience and although i worked my way through the procedure adopting a very relaxed attitude and an openness although at first i felt somewhat violated and angry, the following day i felt revitalized and very healthy. later i spoke with the high priestess (my friend who is the embodiment of ayahuscia) and she informed me that these events were actually healing although there can be malevolent procedures. she said that the aliens were not necessarily extra terrestrial but possibly inter dimensional. after some deep thinking i actually feel she is correct in this analysis. also my limited understanding of the events frame the event, therefore i use language my brain understands to describe what is occurring yet in actuality i may not have words to describe what occurred because it is beyond the realm of my understanding. the fact is i think when encountering these entities i have to approach them without fear and embrace them, weather they mean me harm or not.


after i took a dose, stated my intention of forgiveness and slipped into a very serene meditation, my body relaxed and my mind drifted along with the flow of images and thoughts, finally settling upon a very detailed and tactile experience of being eaten by worms. i was already in the death pose, and instantly my mind accepted what was occurring as a beautiful experience rather than negative. the worms engulfed my body, they were in constant motion, all around sliding through me and my body seemed to disintegrate or not actually be there. i gazed into the worms and they were now like ever changing fractals, flowers blooming and growing from me. it was quite astoundingly beautiful.
i will never look at a worm in the same way again.
later the high priestess explained that this was the worms eating my karma. it feels so right. i am truly blessed.