old captain mission can feel saturn's return to pisces influence upon his condition. certain strange parameteres seem to attract themselves to my personal space, my choices of freedom and liberty are tested, my normal existence tested by these strange new pressures and expectations. i have to be careful, usually things like this can become overwhelming, after all i am a solo traveller with no shoulder to lean upon, or even talk to sometimes. however all that is required is i meet the challenge with my fluidity and passive force, adapting and hopefully evolving somewhat without to much mutation. not that i am opposed to mutation but i like myself in my current incarnation and what to enjoy that wave for as long as possible. maybe mutations are evolving, it's a tricky semiotic one, and to be brutally honest i am healthy and feeling younger than ever so in the list of priorities that's gotta be top. 

i am very upset to hear two friends of mine are living with  cancer, it's really sad as these are the most beautiful people, and i treasure their friendship although often it's hard to say it, i am grateful i met them and they are in my world. what i love about them is they both accept i am incredibly inconstant in seeing and communication, but when i do we just pick off where we left off and everything flows. that's always a nice part of people i connect with, no need for the small talk, judgements and petty shit, friends are friends. i want to help them both but all i can really do is offer my limited understanding of how to deal with this awful condition. one lives in new zealand and has adopted a very healthy and positive attitude, she has had a double mastectomy and basically loves her cancer. she sustains herself with all the right nutrients and has a very positive outlook, in fact she wants to visit me in march.

my other friend just needs a little shift in lifestyle, i know she can beat this if she can self discipline, she's like me in that way, we both succumb easily to hedonistic escapist strategies and the path of least resistance but my friend has had a very challenging few years, has limited resources and lives a fairly isolated life. i think i would be devastated if anything happened to either of them, so every day i send them energy and healing.