yesterdays catastrophic energy bleeds into today, the bird seed fiasco attracted a horrible stick insect, the gigantic type who just decided to sit outside my front door and pretend he's a stick, imagine my shock as i tried to put him in the garden bin. i leapt up with surprise and ran to the garage where my two afghan builders were painting. 
'jesus christ, i don't really like those stick insects and there's one at my door.'
the boys don't have stick insects in afghanistan so they were curious, 'no they say, it's just a stick.'
they move in to pick it up.

yep, when it moves they to are shocked. one grabs a shovel, 'no, please don't kill it.' 

they look at me as if i am nuts, 'i don't like killing things.'

one of them carefully removes it with a long grabber tool, placing it on the grass opposite my house. 

as he walks back in he says, 'you would never make it in mujahideen.'

i had to laugh, he's right. 

earlier jake had rung me, my dad was unwell and it was quite a big drama, everyone felt helpless and scared. i was reassuring but even i was feeling it. then a friend rang me with her emergency, and then the builders said the type of wood i wanted would not work which threw me into a short lived spasm of broken dreams. the one thing we fish people had is a vision in our minds that can't be actualised, although this could be fixed by thinking outside the box. i need to think outside my box and come up with a solution.

today, a new day i hear from a friend who has been living in tokyo for the last 10 years, we rave on about hawkwind, the state of the world, the northern beaches where we met, the ageing process and the general decline of civilisation as it is overrun by zombies. we disagree on a number of issues but can speak about them respectfully, the sign of a good friendship.

today the builders disappoint me by not turning up, the afghans have a weird attitude when it comes to reliability, communication and commitment but i like them, they are intelligent and we have good conversations. one is now assisting a professor at university, and i am sure in time he will become one himself. he's very knowledgeable about history, very smart. 

so today means i need a plan b.