those days where disappointment leaks in with the rain, sydney streets all awash with tears and bad memories, i wander through newtown with a disillusioned face and a schizophrenic friend, better read than dead pushing its agenda any opportunity it can get, elizebeths always has the good stuff, tucked away, i flick through a book on marijuana cultivation, i got big plans down my time line, i flick through seven pillars of wisdom, a really old volume, parchment papers and the smell of time leaking off with the rain. i eat some vegan food, it's amazing, how i wish i could commit, i drink some coffee, it's to weak but it gets me moving as i leave behind my slug nature.
the faces move past, the king street look, inner city living, it's not my thing anymore, i need the birds, the trees, water. the city feels depleting, sucking the life force from my bones, i don't know, even book shops seem pointless, everything cheaper on amazon. 
my seasonal affective disorder kicks in big time, i find a slice of blue sky. hang on mission, hang on to that!
everything could just slip away in this day, it's a drowning day, a day ships go down, should have stayed home, should have just hunkered down for the day, written a song, looked out the window at the trees, watched my fish.
on the train i read my book, its the satisfying space opera, middle book of a trilogy, a super organism on venus has been used as a chemical weapon by a rogue element of the un. the super organism has melded with human dna and uses the raw materials to construct itself, it's agenda seems to be unknown, it appears some super corporation is running it's own tests on turning the thing into a biological weapon, the story reaches a dramatic climax as the protagonists reach the end of the line and the resulting in a confrontation of diplomatic dealings, all out war thwarted. i do like a happy ending but in this novel the protagonist is suddenly unexpectedly confronted by a ghost.
the train pulls up, the sun sets, pastel grey sky, soft washed out evening, cloudy and perfect for ghosts.