we smoked hash known in certain circles as 'nepalese temple' it came in spheres as big as a grown mans fist. we played a vinyl record on a beaten up turntable, some dubby trance type beat rattled out from ancient speakers. i rolled a large joint with four rizzla papers while we talked about something literate, i can't recall the details, maybe a new book, maybe a new theory in physics. a white skinned woman in a sari made us tea and brought us biscuits on a silver tray. she sat on the arm of my chair and i could smell her perfume wafting in my direction. i passed her the joint and offered a light. she inhaled deeply and passed it back.
the thing with 'temple' is it's so strong once you have a hit, you can't really move for a few hours, so i sat there on the chair with this girl stroking my hair as my body fell numb and my eyes sunk into their sockets. i was loosing myself in the pattern on the sari. the music started to throb, my eyes closed and open at the same time, lost in a haze of smoke i sunk into some sort of dream.

it was hot, i may have been standing in a desert or on a beach. i was wearing my bathing suit, a nice turquoise pair of shorts. i was wearing a very expensive pair of sunglasses, in my hands was a smoking gun and about 50 yards in front of me was a dead body laying sprawled across the sand. i looked around, yeah there was the water, i was on a beach, no one else in sight, a couple of birds. i walked over to the body, looking around nervously.
the man was wearing a suit, he looked in his 40's wealthy by the cut of his suit, his shirt was covered in blood, i'd hit him in the chest, just above the heart. i reached into his pocket and my hand found a wallet. it took me a few seconds o find his id. his name was captain mission, he was dead. i closed his eyes as a gesture of respect, his lids felt warm. they opened. i fell backwards, he had my foot with his hand, while his other wrapped itself around my throat. it was squeezing tight, i looked for something to defend myself with then i realized i held the gun. i saw a glint of metal as i directed it his hands were getting tighter, i could not breath, my lungs started to burn. for some strange reason i couldn't instruct my finger to pull the trigger.

i'm back in the room with the nice smelling girl in the sari, she's moaning next to me, her hand is massaging my head, her eyes are closed and she looks lost in some ecstatic trance. the music is still pumping out the speakers, weird base lines snake their way down the corridors. i can hear a trumpet. my eyes can't seem to open, but i can see. i can see the past sprawled out like a surgeons blade, i can see the present a forever now, and the future. the future is nepalese.

i'm hacking my way through a jungle, it's tropical hot, a cross between a sauna and a dense overgrown foliage, the plant life is huge, strange bright flowers and massive tree trunks, my machete gleams with the clear precision of death. i drop it, disgusted at these weapons i find myself with. immediately a vine wraps itself around my neck, my fingers prey it loose and then i'm pulled down on my knees as vines grab my legs, one winds it way around my wrist and i find my self stretched out, each limb pulled apart by these strange flora and fauna. a bright yellow and purple flower reveals itself and i can see it opening, it's petals revealing a long stamen and pods of what could be pollen. it is huge, the size of my head. it starts to release a strange sweet smelling odor and i loose all sense of my body, submerged by it's subtle anesthetic. the girl with the sari smiles at me, her lips pout as she kisses mine. the scenes merge, blending, she is a flower, radiant and narcotic offering bliss and something else.

the temple stands before me, a golden structure not built by any human architecture, not built by hand. i walk up its path towards the vast entrance, two golden gates. i pass them convinced im being watched, i'm sure i can hear mandolins, maybe a harp. sweet sounds. angels maybe.
inside the temple i i am told by a voice i can have any answer to any question and i should consider my question wisely. i don't know where the voice came from, it's blended into the music, blended into the walls, mixed up with the angels. above me golden light, no ceilings, no walls, just a bath of light, a fire that does mot burn.
the question is the same one you would ask.
the answer comes clear and unambiguously, 'to reunite.'
i consider this, the universe is the reflection of god, a god separated from itself. perhaps gods partner exists in all living things and that they can only be united by acts of love.
this is the meaning of life. beyond ideology, to love and life lovingly. it's strangely simple and perfect for that longing, that need, that pain and anger the terrible sadness is separation.

i'm awake, returned from my journeys, kissing the beautiful girl in the sari, the music has stopped but i hear her breathing, and i feel her breath on my face, she smells of flowers and nature, we kiss and she tastes of life.