technicians of space ship earth, this is your captain speaking, your captain is dead!
Monday, June 14, 2021
Tuesday, June 01, 2021
Monday, May 31, 2021
expectations shattered immediately. she lay there on a small sleeping bag on a crowded street with a hand written sign that states simply, 'don't hurt me' but looked immaculate, quite stunningly beautiful, even in her poverty she maintained her dignity.
i scanned her on several dimensions, firstly as i mentioned her appearance was incredible, not only well dressed and stylish but her teeth were perfectly cosmetic. it was an anomaly.
she also wore no jewellery, which seemed contradictory to a young girl her age, not even an ear ring, no visible tattoo's. her footwear was a pair of designer angle length baseball boots and they were clean, as if brand new.
she sat upon her sleeping bag in some sort of yoga pose, her hair cut short and her nose looked noble and elegant, slightly turned upwards as though she were to good for this world.
i couldn't see her eyes clearly and as i walked passed her i felt a compulsion to ask if she was okay. it was a strange indecisive moment as my own processing was in conflict over the decision. if i spoke to her i may regret it and yet i was curiously drawn to find out more.
i can't describe the processing speed of my thinking, it was quantum, yet like a slow moving ping pong match where all arguments manifested as moves within my mind, and the game that took an hour took a micro second as the arguments for, cut through the ones against, in wonderfully precise aces.
i was standing before her before i knew it.
'are you okay? can i buy you a coffee?'
she looked up at me, she gazed into my eyes making me feel awkward and vulnerable, self conscious as i looked upon her
slightly asian face, a hint of japanese i think.
she smiled the mona lisa smile and bided me to join her at a level i would find uncomfortable and she would find non threatening. i crouched down and awkwardly placed myself upon her blankets, next to her.
i realised she may be mute, her mouth opened but no sounds emitted, just a strange tangled drone, as though she were trying to say something but became stuck upon the first syllable.
i grabbed my note book and a pen, passed it to her and she immediately began scribbling. not words but an intricate doodle, a fine line of black upon the white page, scrawled around in circular patterns and strange shapes.
then in a elegant twist of her had she held the page towards me so i could look at it. it was a complex twirl of patterns, some circles, some triangles and some strange squares. the first thing that struck me as i looked upon this pattern was how similar it was to a crop circle.
Friday, May 28, 2021
Tuesday, May 18, 2021
Thursday, May 13, 2021
Wednesday, May 12, 2021
'mission what's the sine off...blah blah blah,' mr locket said, in his usual sarcastic and prematurely triumphant tones as he awaited my pathetic attempt.
immediately i gave an answer, it was something like 8.674329.
his face looked down upon the tables in his hand as his eyes followed the lines and then a look crossed his face, it was disbelief crossed with defeat and then instead of acknowledging i had the correct answer he moved on to someone else.
the scientist starts flirting with me, as if impressed yet i confess i have no mathematical ability entrusting the satori to divinity.
i ask her if it's all numbers, she says yes.
i ask her if we live in a simulation, she says, 'so what if we do?'
i suggest hack it.
Monday, May 10, 2021
Friday, May 07, 2021
Tuesday, May 04, 2021
faith.
Thursday, April 15, 2021
these days are melting away all negative energy, i bask in sun, lay on my new chaise, smoke a joint and catch up on sleep. my dreams are very vivid, rich and filled with adventures, people faces, exotic landscapes, rich colours and environments. there's an optimism in the air, i can feel it in my blood. i go for early morning surfs, drink coffee at dawn, complete my cleaning and things shift and morph as i clear out mental junk.
this morning the sun beat down upon my shoulders, it felt like my skin was heating up, absorbing it's energy in photosynthesis like procedures, light eating. i watched the energy dancing upon the water, waves came in, washed at my feet, kissing and blessing me. it feels good to be alive.
Wednesday, April 14, 2021
Monday, April 05, 2021
almost finished the book, 'william burroughs and the cult off rock and roll,' which is better than i thought it would be, the writer has done his research and knows his subject, there's a little new information in there for me to enjoy and a lot of stuff i had forgotten about, particularly the patti smith stuff and jerry garcia bits, i had no ideas jerry was a smack fiend. excellent look at the way william burroughs effected the musicians of the 20th century, from rock to rap.
Wednesday, March 31, 2021
the weekend was pleasing, i enjoyed making a new friend although later was surprised she didn't really connect with me in the way i thought she did. i always said i was hard to connect with. i'm so divisive, expectations are often met by disappointment, some people expect something from me and then get some facet of mine which is equally not me as much as it is, i always have to tell people i'm a multitude. i guess only the magickal mind can perceive the magickal mind.
however i was somewhat dejected as i thought this may have possibilities. however i am always quick to remount and ride the unicorn again.
finally i sleep through a night, i program my dreams now, they seem to morph into their own archetypes and my lucidity is mutable, like the rest of me. i'm pushing boundaries in dreamscapes, pushing into the life i want to create. i've come a long way. money is no longer an issue, the universe bestows in the strangest ways, however i need to be frugal, i need to consider the fact things are never as they appear.
writing- i'm tweaking a few things, they are far from perfect but the over riding need is to get these things out. i have to push, push harder.
Saturday, March 27, 2021
big day, up at 5am for a drive north in the rental car, it's a beautiful car to drive, these toyotas are very good. i notice my head hurts more today than yesterday, but i make to to the bay where i spend the morning. then a drive all the way to sydney, two hours on the freeway.
at 11pm i drive home but have to pull over for a conversation with my boss, i walk in at 1am. shower and then at 3 wake up to a text from a friend. i spend a few hours texting, we fall asleep and and then it's now.
things to do - do get coffee, sleep or at least lay down then back to work. my poor head is a bit confused. so much to do, so little time.
Thursday, March 25, 2021
we pull over at the side of the road and swap details, he's just a kid, a p plater. nervous and shaken. i go easy on him as he fesses up to being responsible which is cool.
Wednesday, March 24, 2021
i'm calculating if it will hit me, the mainframe of the aircraft has already hit the ground but the jet engine is moving at a different speed. i watch as i estimate it will hit about 200 yards away, which it does, and then unexpectedly bounces right over my head, over a high fence and crashes out of sight.



