intermittent sleep, lots of stuff going through my mind, the past catching up with the future, the crossfire trigger of now, the combination of synapses all sending signals through my cerebellum, i have infinite energy and spend most of the night reading. 

i started reading a grimore called 'the grimorium verum,' a sort of mish mash of codex's and previous grimores, some of it is based around christianity and some demonology, it's a strange collection of energies and the writer insists the entities are real as opposed to psychological claiming he witnessed one, 'asmodeus' appear before him without conjuring anything. the entity, he claims piqued his interest and thus he pursued a life of a magickian. i guess my experiences are somewhat different as i have not seen these incarnate in the traditional since, but they do incarnate in experiences, psychological manifestations, dreams and people that come into my life. so in the true spirit, anything is possible. 

the verum is far to convoluted for me, but the writer does offer a new way of casting, and this seems to be very effective and i may attempt it in time. i don't think his way is the official way that the verum articulates, but it is an alternative the writer has tested. however the magickal path is unique for every practitioner.

to be honest i am not a ritual magickian, the idea seems counter intuitive to my nature and the type of magick i have adapted to, however i want to explore these energies so i have a comparison. the traditional energies all look bizarre and childish, however i must adopt a certain respect. i believe they are expressions drawn by predecessors whom could not articulate what they were experiencing in any exact way, therefore the images are possibly representations of what they felt, how they experienced and what they understood. as all this stuff goes back thousands of years the architecture of the brain has evolved since then, and the mind along with it. what once we described in classical values can now be transcribed in more definitive ones. my own magickal framework has a quantum theoretical framework, in practice it's less ritualized, more instant. i can use scientific terminology to understate the theory more than the ancients could so while they perceive these beings as solid  with defined shape and forms, i may comprehend them as energy or manifestations from my own psychology. 

however there are various versions of the many grimores out these days, and it would be foolish to research only one translation. this was just an entry point, however if i wanted to be scientific i guess the lesser keys would be a good starting point. this type of magick starts with solomon so i may have to investigate a few translations. i tend not to like the academic ones like steve skinner and joseph peterson, and then again there are far to many new age takes upon the subject. however i have to push myself into new territory as see what sticks. i will let my intuition guide me, so far it's been true leading me to where i have to be. each experience opens a new door, a new realm.