fathers day, what a strange idea that is, i mean why does everything have a day, why just leave it all alone. 
but fathers day is a pretty good day for me to tell you about my dad, a war child, living alone with a rat for a friend in a bombed out building in east london, the biggest slum in europe at the time. 
he still lives in london but upgraded to the posh suburbs, an aspirant of the good life, the middle classes motivated by the biggest influence upon him, my mother. 
dads a strange aquarian, very mechanical and practical, he always attempted to teach me these skills but i was useless, never interested in cars, hanging wallpaper, building and engineering, whereas there was different side to my father that came out when he was never with my mum, it was the side that i listened to.
he told me stories, about adventures, ghosts, magick, mysteries, mystics and the strange idea that our family origin is in atlantis, we are the lost tribe he would say.
those things stuck in my head, being a poetical child i guess they inspired my dreams and that's when i felt closest to my father. 
unfortunately my mother being the narcissistic overwhelming control freak drove that side of my dad further away from me, and i guess himself. yeah he achieved a lot in the material world, had good jobs, cars and homes, but as a family we are separated by time and geography, i was always running away. 
occasionally dad will ring up, never mum, and we will chat about politics and the state of humanity, he's trying to make sense of it all and it draws him closer to religion and god, away from society and people. 
dad's a righteous man, he reminds me of clint eastwood whom my father loves and i think in a way he is a bit of a clint character, quietly confident, perplexed, unreachable and somewhat remote, yet with the capacity to do the right thing when it's time to count. it's my mother that drove a wedge into my relationship with him, but now we are good, better really from a distance, out of her reach. i wish i could be there, making him his favourite dinner, chatting with him about the upcoming conflicts in the world, talking about kabbalah and god, watching 'million dollar baby' or walking through the small town he lives in as he points out various flowers and trees. 
i'm close to my dad through his family now, each one of them know me better than my own, and we are close, very close, nothing can take that away. 
my son lives in london and i know my father is close with him, despite his grumpy old attitude which he fakes to avoid my mothers ongoing quest to manipulate and control, i've seen his face light up when jake walks in, but that's how jake is, he's a brilliant human being, radiates intelligence and love, he always has from the day he was born. i'm glad he's there to visit my father today, he sent me a photo of them out in the sunshine, my dads stoic expression never changes. i'm glad jake is there getting a little glimpse into my father, seeing a little of his history and the difference a generation makes, he probably understands me a little better. i miss them both heaps.