like everyone who is honest i look for love, i'm a romantic at heart, that's an incredibly sad place to be for a single guy who's heart has been broken once to many times, but that's the sad truth. relationships have eluded me, i have had many and they have left me disappointed, mostly in myself. ayahuscia indicates i am incredibly loved, more loved than any other experience i have ever experienced, parental love, romantic love, true love, smart love, dumb love, i felt that love lift me.
but what's missing is the partner to share it with, my observations, my reckonings, my perspective and hers. that strange common ground, where my failings are loved equally as my strengths. it's evaded me. i am truly a hard man to live with, i don't have electric lights, i don't wanna watch tv when i can read, i keep everything clean and tidy except my mess. i have an extremely critical mind when it comes to people, unforgiving in some ways, i need to loosen up perhaps but the reality is i am pretty freaking loose, im to loose, i am loose wolf looking for a woman to run with.
my friend lilly said, i will only marry a man who has read that book.'
i told her i had read it as well as a lot of other feminist lit.