Took myself to the movies and saw Jarhead, which is quite beautifully shot but as far as story goes needed a few more ingredients. I feel that these anti war films suffer because the characters in them are always dumber than the directors, writers and editors. For example the best anti war films are ones where the characters are more than meat heads with guns, thin red line, apocalypse now and birdy, catch 22, all pass the litmus test because they portray their protagonists as being intelligent philosophical people.
I guess its a catch 22 in the first place as only fools would enlist in the army, unless conscripted.
I did think my fave bit in Jarhead was the scene with the horse, it was surreal and moving.
War what is it good for?
Money, Land and TV, i guess.

I spent an few hours with a friend talking about divorce. It's such a strange process, i mean in an enlightened society you should just be able to leave a marriage with what you came into it with at least. Anyway my advice was let anything go, it can be replaced but don't loose your integrity. Once that's gone, it's hard to live, i know i've lost mine a few times. But onwards we go.

So yeah people's try to murder me and then I seemed to awaken into a new life, it was pretty much the same as the old one except it was nothing like it, i finally looked at myself and saw a frightened human being, riddled with insecurity, desires, a man halfway through the best years of their life, feeling unfulfilled and half alive. So I set myself the challenge of reinvention.
I understood I was alone in the universe, yes a social being connected to a web of life but really alone. I had always been a loner, even at school, but I embraced it now, i learnt to live with myself without that feeling of missing out, i started to fill my days with a structure based around creativity, discipline and learning new stuff, challenging myself. For the next few months i started to take on things that i never felt were possible, meditation, yoga, breathing exersises, new skills like being a cocktail waiter, an actor, jumping off cliffs, fire twirling and a slow introduction into the idea of personality being a tool. It was not until i fully became aware of memes much later than i began to see this as a fully formed science.
However one new years night i took it upon myself to cast a little ritual, this was to face all my fears in one large challenge. I used the usual Magickians ritual, gnosis, sigilized intent, charged and let it go.
By this time I was working with sydneys homeless youth making a name for myself amongst various agencies and gaining the respect of my peers and clients. This balanced with my new found confidence beating set challenges and facing my fears I was feeling quite revitalized and dare i say it, reborn. I had built up a new network of friends, i managed to find myself a reasonable place to life and i was beginning to see more of my son. Then the power of my invoccaion came back to claim me.