Saturday, March 27, 2021

big day, up at 5am for a drive north in the rental car, it's a beautiful car to drive, these toyotas are very good. i notice my head hurts more today than yesterday, but i make to to the bay where i spend the morning. then a drive all the way to sydney, two hours on the freeway. 

at 11pm i drive home but have to pull over for a conversation with my boss, i walk in at 1am. shower and then at 3 wake up to a text from a friend. i spend a few hours texting, we fall asleep and and then it's now. 

things to do - do get coffee, sleep or at least lay down then back to work. my poor head is a bit confused. so much to do, so little time. 

Thursday, March 25, 2021

reality - this morning i wake up with the sun, go down get a coffee before the traffic gets really bad. i pick up my almond latte and drive home in the new hybrid when suddenly on my right i see this white car travelling straight to me almost on top of my car. he crashes into my rear right side full whack and my car spins around, my head smashes against the side window. 
we pull over at the side of the road and swap details, he's just a kid, a p plater. nervous and shaken. i go easy on him as he fesses up to being responsible which is cool. 
my wheel is really badly damaged. so is my head. 
i spend hours on the phone dealing with insurance and drag myself to doctors while organising a hire car and phoning work to cancel shifts. i spilled my coffee in the crash. 

 

Wednesday, March 24, 2021

dream - the plane just falls out the sky after a minor explosion, i watch the white and red fuselage hit the ground, not far away from me. it's a loud noise, flames rising and black smoke, but just before it hit the ground the jet on the right wing tears itself away and twirls through the air towards me. 
i'm calculating if it will hit me, the mainframe of the aircraft has already hit the ground but the jet engine is moving at a different speed. i watch as i estimate it will hit about 200 yards away, which it does, and then unexpectedly bounces right over my head, over a high fence and crashes out of sight. 
i run towards the fuselage where the flames are dying out, the twisted metal exposing the rows of seats and dead bodies. some people are wandering around.
i know i can save lives. i race towards the wreckage, smoke and dust thick, black and heavy against the contrast of green grass and blue skies.

Tuesday, March 16, 2021

once in a previous incarnation when i sojourned the world as a sex god seeking out pleasure and pursuing hedonistic impulses i met my match in an amazing woman called shelly. 
shelly was a part punk, gothic mix of lesbian fetish and industrial culture, she was the high priestess of flesh and cerebral counter culture. a living orgasm machine who dripped sensuality like a snail leaves a slime trail, she turned the heads of all and parted crowds like a prophet parting the red sea. for some reason she attached herself to me. 
at the time i was aloof, wandering post divorce liminal world, numbed out on strange drugs and lost in a landscape of creatures of the night like a cynical vampyre. 
sydney was wild, a zoo without cages, we slipped from midnight clubs to exotic bars and slid from bed to bed, and in my madness i made the worst decision and split up with shelly to chase another girl. the wrong one. it's my fault but the ecstasy didn't help, the strange energy that connected me to one split me from the other. and it's a regret i had because when i told shelly she was beautiful. she took me out for dinner, bought me a beautiful piece of lapis jewelry and blessed me.
a week later i knew i had made a bad choice but shelly had gone, vanished into the night. she had given me a book, which i love called 'modern primitives' and fed my mind while she sated my need.
that was in 1996. 
yesterday we connected again. the universe just spat her out at my feet like it does.
not only is she stunning but she is the same gracious heart and sexual energy, much more powerful now. 
we exchanged a few stories, i was able to tell her how much i loved her but at the time was so emotionally fucked up i couldn't love her. it was only in the post years did i realise how much she meant to me. so i was finally able to tell her, and fill her in on my story.
she says she has some pics of us, and she remembers me fondly which is kinda nice as i probably wasn't really nice at that time.
i hope we can catch up for dinner soon, i really want to.
it's funny how life works out, it was a chance encounter, a strange random event and yet i knew it would happen. it was like i was expecting it.  


Monday, March 15, 2021

the covid year has been hard for people but on a personal note for me it has been a year of thriving growth and success. sure there's luck and chance involved in this but i accept my blessing and just want to be grateful for what has occurred. 

a few mornings ago at 0530 i shut my front door behind me and walked towards my car where i saw in the darkness a long thick black thing which i figured may have been a branch that had made its way under my car and was sticking out about 2 meters. it was no branch. it was a snake, possibly about 3 meters long, as i watched it. i had an appointment i could not be late for so using my capacity to embrace all living creatures except bush turkeys and moths, i negotiated my way inside the passengers door and clambered into the drivers seat. as i reversed the snake made it's getaway somewhere into my front garden, which is an oasis of tropical plants and wildlife.
there it has remained for a few days, in the garden of eden.

Wednesday, March 03, 2021

new car, very sexy sophisticated machine. more akin to a space ship than a car, it's silent therefore when i play music it's like being immersed in the sound. the car has technology that makes it drive itself, it steers itself to safety while i override the zone and keep control. it's magnificent if you like that sort of thing, plus being hybrid it is cheap to run and easy to charge.

the vibe at mission control is changing now, the bathroom is fantastic, the balcony is unreal as is my new furniture and space. once the garage is converted i will be living in the perfect environment.





Tuesday, February 16, 2021

fuck walt disney, what a bunch of nasty hypocrites cancelling gina carano for her social media post. it was not racist it was smart and intelligent, suggesting hate and division effects the way people understand one another. it was a warning suggesting that the current age of cancellation, vilifying people who think differently or have an alternative view can result in totalitarian society where children grow up hating the other, be it hindu, muslim, christian or in this case jew. the left proves time after time it is misogynistic because it went after gina and not her co star whom did the same thing but he is a man. disney prove they are racist hypocrites because they bend over backwards to thank the chinese communist party for mulan, yet that party actually has a million muslims in camps, they sterilize the women and organ harvest the rest. pretty close to the nazi camps when you think about it without the gas. so disney cosies up to those bastards but cancels a woman for saying, 'be nice.' perhaps the fucking idiots need to wake up to themselves, because left wing cancel morons, disney himself was a anti semitic nazi whom exploited his talent and stole their ideas. 

the problem is people are so invested in being, 'woke' or 'left' they are frightened about speaking the truth. companies now trawl through social media looking for a reason to fire people especially if you are not a left wing zombie. i am getting older now and although i started out with socialist humanist ideals, the more time i spend in the world the more i can't stand the left. they turned out to be the fascist right and they are winning, because anyone whom disagrees is cancelled. it's absurd and will end in tears. 

i don't mind being cancelled, in fact i rather be with the cancelled than the cancellers. they cancelled me in china, this blog is banned so i am already in good company

Sunday, February 14, 2021

the great unveiling today, a new bathroom, wow it looks amazing, i've moved some plants in there over the bathing area to give it a jungle like feel, some scented candles and aroma theraphy stuff, float tank bliss.
yesterday was a rain soaked wash out, the garden grows even wilder, jungle within, jungle without let it happen, green goddesses, silver plumed birds, red flowers and sprawling ferns. bromeliads and rubber flame trees, huge palms and banana trees and an elephant ears plant competing against them all. i may transplant that baby, keep it indoors. 
my grass is like corn, it forms a new crop circle design as it collapses inwards. intricate lines cut across the circle and when i look from above the design is an old formula i recognise for a pentagram.  interesting.
birds chirp at dawn, busy they come to the resting place, as do the water dragons and the young native that likes to attack it's reflection. mm that reminds me of someone.
then there's the sun streaming this morning, a new day, valentines day as sunlight filters through the trees, through the fronds and plumes, through the tall grass and bamboo. 
i am rising, i am awake.

Friday, February 12, 2021

new point

ancient light

new light

ancient point

my dream

i was surprised, as i had come to the end of the road

there we were, holding hands

it was the climax

you were in the mouth of a bottomless well

and i clasped you tight and then remembered your words

so i let you go

and upon your face

you wore the look of horror

as the blackness ate you

ancient point

new light

ancient light

new point


Thursday, January 21, 2021

with a week off i arrange the builders to finish off the bathroom, they have a few days and i'm looking at completion for saturday but we will see. tradesman are notoriously unreliable and when a plumber is involved it's anyone's guess but i'm so looking forwards to my float tank. the whole set up is perfect. my drive way is a mess of rubble as is most of my entrance and the house is a shambles as i have had to move everything around chaotically. i'm looking forwards to things going back to simple. 
then my next project will be to update my car, i'm thinking a new one but not sure what to get. money is not an issue so i may get something new but the main factor is i want something that drives along the freeway with ease and speed, something that has a great sound and economy re: petrol, some sort of hybrid. anyway there is no rush my xv has served me well and i'm attached to it but, hell, let's embrace the new seeing as though i am on a roll.
i'm in the second draft of a novel, it's going to be interesting as it  will challenge you and the ending is so outrageous i think you may need to hold on tight.
as usual it's the details that perplex me, i'm an ideas man, a concept generator whereas details are for the patient and meticulous. 
i'm like vishnu, inventing realities, ideas, dreaming up beautiful tales and terrifying journeys that reveal something about. 


all my writing is about this one theme, yet it comes in many different forms, it's a vast subject. how does a human being become liberated in the world of responsibility, chaos and maya. i have the answers but it's a complex path to walk, a path where you can easily deceive yourself and be deceived. a path where at the end of the road waits the devil and she seeks only your corruption to match her own. 
however my battle was with something corrupted and intrinsically 'evil' i could never win only exit. that's what the experience was, an exit from the part of me that i do not ever want to become. 
her. 
twin flame. 


Monday, January 18, 2021

 i have to prepare again for cosmic war, the lines have been drawn and i know my place. unfortunately i have to do it all alone as usual but i guess i can't have anyone undermine me again.  i'm not always right but i'm very rarely wrong.  

down at mission control i live amongst chaos as the building work continues, plumbers came in and fixed up the taps, and soon the huge therapeutic bath will be installed, a float tank situation for i will require a safe place from which to conduct myself. there will also be a new cabinet and mirror, lighting and new tiling and a brand new toilet. 
then i can begin the massive clean up and put things back, rearranging them, then the balcony room will be worked upon and then the garage converted. plus i need a new car. so a lot of stuff happening. by feburary i should be finished and by march i will be ready for battle. that's the timeline i am on. 

Friday, January 15, 2021


 

surrealism infiltration of the arcane novice, the impulsion to order, reality salad. she's disturbingly attractive in her compulsion drive, like a whale to a plankton. i tune in to the signal avoid the noise, the satellites orbit our heads just above the stratosphere but are obscured from ground radar due to deflecting devices installed. these devices were made in a chinese laboratory, annexed to a factory where children of political prisoners are enslaved. they usually last until adolescence then their brain cells are harvested for nefarious experiments with old men in uniforms looking for immortality. some are 100's of years old, others 1000's. 
dr. wu is at least 10000 years old and assisted in the rise of pottery, animal husbandry and mastery of bone flute. it is true that today he still plays the bone flute, more for meditation than artistic pursuits. he is also a master of chi energy and proficient in acupuncture and the human meridian system. 
the impenetrable satellite system sends out a low frequency subsonic noise that blocks the pineal glands from building up dmt. it keeps evolution in check and humanity at a smart monkey level. fluoride was ineffective as so many people turned to fresh uncontaminated water. tv became to obvious and media propaganda just cause division. what the immortals wanted more than anything was herd mentality. mass control. 
dr. wu had consulted the i ching this morning, his boney hands and long extended fingers drew the six sticks and with his ink calligraphy pen he drew the lines. 
hexagram 59
dissolving
progressing
the king grants there be a temple
life is an all or nothing equation
he sips tea from a small cup, his diet is a handful of berries and seeds now, not much point in eating food he has mastered light. 
below his citadel the slaves do their labour, they squabble amongst themselves about petty divisions and whom has the better idea. all sides think they are correct, as they split into fundamentalism. often murders are committed. tension is kept high and the mass functions in a state of fear, mistrust and suspicion all the time. dr. wu likes it like this, stops them getting anywhere. fear is the ultimate weapon, and it's so easy to use. occasionally one individual comes along and rises from the mass, a man or woman who does not follow the herd. an individual who knows there is a greater picture beyond the fear. they are sometimes elevated to a position of meaningless authority until they are undermined or assassinated or an opposing argument comes along. sometimes it's stolen, the hordes are often far to stupefied to know.
dr. wu laughs to himself as he watches people squabbling and fight over ideas and thoughts they have. he laughs so hard sometimes it hurts.
the satellite weapon calcifies the pineal gland so effectively most of the global population are like ants now, immune from independant thoughts and action. 'on your knees,' dr. wu whispers, as his narrow lips blow a soft plume across the surface of his cup.
the irony is you don't have to be on your knees to be on your knees. 
the useful idiot is a good analogy, dr. wu often seeds them with ideology and idealism they can use to disrupt natures evolutionary plan. his position calls upon it, to subvert nature is the ultimate evil, to use those who defend nature to subvert nature on his behalf is just elementary tactics. it's the art of war and when it comes to manipulation dr. wu is amongst a small few who are not only masters but ippissimus.
he sips his tea, looks down at his old feet, notices the long veins stick out, it reminds him of the years amongst the water people, a small tribal community who lived on the shoreline of a tropical island. that man he met captain mission, a strange figure from his ancient history. 
what was that place called, libeteria? libertasia? mmm, it had an annoying name. 
was he french or english, most definitely a mix of europian and some exotic blend. that long black ravens hair, his library of philosophy, poetry and esoteric texts. and his people. mmm, dr. wu reminisce at how he was shipwrecked there, washed up on the shore and given safe haven amongst the community. they were unlike any group of people he had encountered, progressive thinkers, free individuals, in flow with nature and the divine. definitely understood their place within the universe, almost guardians. but they were also pyrates, wanted by the french navy, the spanish the english and the portuguese. they were known for liberation. not just of the flesh but of the spirit. they were dangerous. yet he found their community peaceful. he read many rare books there, he walked barefeet for many years, he even sailed with them once on a mission. 
they intercepted a vessel from england sailing to the americas, it held coin for a treasury and a two political prisoners whom had attempted to write a treatise that empowered children. educators they called themselves. 
we raided the vessel, sneaking up in the evening, stealth like, captain missions tactics were non violent, his men just put sleeping potion in their rum.
that night we liberated the prisoners, the gold and the ships library. we also left the food and water as the island was abundant. sometimes they took the crew.
captain mission divided the spoils up equally and gave each man a book, keeping the rest for his library. he was adamant that all his people be literate and show great respect for all cultures, valuing the arts and differences. everyman was free to join him, or they would be released at the nearest island to rejoin their nations when rescued. 
as we returned to libertaria i began to understand why i was shipwrecked here, why i should be exposed to such enlightened behaviour. i would have to kill this man and all his people. 
it was not difficult, the community kept all their weapons in one place but were encouraged to carry knives. the captain had a sleek black blade made from obsidian. 
it was not difficult to kill them, this was far before i had learnt subversion and subtle arts so i relied upon brute force. the women fought bravely but without the men their conclusion was inevitable.
i slaughtered all. 
captain mission was the last, he was forced to watch while i did my work. i left him hanging while his feet were balanced upon the small cross. 
his eyes bore down upon me as i came for him, kicking the cross away, smiling as his body contorted and twitched but those eyes, those eyes penetrated my very soul.
now as i look back i recall what happened, i still feel his eyes burning into my depths from the past.
now in my present, my plan is come to fruition, the seeds sown long ago germinate into their conditions. limited stunted and de evolved. it is reverse engineering, i am a god.
but shadows have familiarity, ghosts linger, the past is haunting me, he haunts me. 
i watched him die, his eyes gazed deeper into my soul than was rational, those dark eyes, black as space held me prisoner and penetrated space and time for now they are there looking at me.  is there no escape, not now!
i watched his breath leave his body, the spasm in his leg, the tongue rolling out, i saw it happen. death. from which there is no return.
yet here he is. returned.
i look away at the hexagram
dissolving, i am dissolving as he sees me. 
progressing, he is resurrected.
the king grants there be a temple
he wears the crown of light above his head now fully forming, along with his body, a crown of white light and wings, wings, he is no longer human. he has wings and a crown of white light, a crown. he is king!
and i have disappeared.
life is an all or nothing equation




Monday, January 04, 2021

polly incubus

she's got the unicorn guru, surrealist voodoo, cosmological outlook,  chariot magick, she makes a difference the only girl i know who can be in two places at once.
she's got the writers fever, everyone needs her, she's got the world springing on a head of a pin, she's got the avocado tango, a fine art form, she's the only girl i know whom can be in two places at once.
she's got a venus tornado, a great big flavor, she has the mutual vibration, and a credit card voodoo, she's tunes in to tomorrow, tuned out of sorrow, it's only dancing into the bright white light two places at once.
she's got the manchurian antidote and the dominion hack vote, she has mesmerising  music, a tuned down guru a secret, you can use it. 
ah polly incubus come on babe, come on babe, be here and now, be when and how, two places, two faces, two places at once.