the days dissolve me, i watch the life around me, birds, insects, flowers and animals approach me in my st.francis moments. from a soldier to a hip priest, from a lover to a fighter. well i guess thats how the dice falls old mission. time for the new mission, although i will never recover from this, part of me just died in the loss. my enthusiasm, that little tigger inside my heart just retreats now at the thought of anything. what's the point i think, what's the fucking point. 
the point is now to get healthy, fighting fit and beat the defeated blues. fortunately i have some very interesting events to keep me focused and maybe do something constructive in this period. 
the covid 19 virus means isolation, it means restriction and distancing, it means russian roulette in the game of life and death, no matter race, age, religion and who you vote for everyone is in the same boat. so, don't panic, it's easy to navigate this period, all the things we think mean something mean little, the idea of being right, materialism, the acquisition of wealth, power and jewels, the pursuit of ambition, attachments to constructs, we have to let them go. the only thing that matters is love, hold on to that. it's the only thing that matters. you may never see your loved one alive again, make it count. god bless you all.

the frontline dispatches.

everything happens fast, each day a new challenge as we are confronted by a very high-risk environment and clients that have no conceptual understanding of events outside their routines and the predictable safety they have known for a few years. 
last week i tried to explain the situation using graphics but i'm not sure how much info gets through. not much on the virus and the social implications. they have no idea why they are in quarantine and after a few days, behaviors begin to escalate. 
i think about the mental health issues that are going to cause untold problems, not just to the clients but to the wider community. the only way forwards is to let it all go, this is the real front line, let of everything. money won't fucking help, attainment of ambitions won't help, being wrong or right won't help. art won't help, writing blogs won't help. only help will help. sure we ascend but everyone worth anything knows that to be there for another is to the greatest gift. so i'm here being there. 
i am not in a position to take time off work now, we are very short-staffed and considered an essential service. i get a special pass that allows me to drive around in case i'm stopped by authorities, i had no idea the public are not allowed to drive unless it's for groceries or emergencies or to an essential service like a hospital. two people maximum in a car!
fines are being implemented by the cops. it's surreal, although i like the roads empty, makes for fast driving. i like the clear skies, look up at the stars. there's a lot happening, strange objects.
we have our temperature read every day and infection control in the work environment is very high, masks and gloves disinfectant sprays handwashing every 30 mins etc. it's like working for the cdc. the authorities that run our service are doing their best to protect us but i guess if you are frontline staff you have a responsibility to be professional and turn up, enact the procedures as best you can and keep yourself and clients safe. most staff are taking leave and abandoning their posts, some have families and loved ones they want to be with so i understand. if one of us goes down, we all do. there's a lot of responsibility in that.

circumstances are extreme and it's nice to watch people re-prioritize what's important in the face of chance against a virus that does not care about your race, age, religion or political stance. me. i'm getting healthier every day although i miss ms. mission more than ever.