i do loathe this time of year, it never fails to depress me because i am so alone. even with jake here, about one and a half hours away i am alone, and have been since about 1992. that's okay it will pass and xmas will never retain it's value other than a commercial exercise in tension, money and loneliness and a desperation for life to just get back to normal where expectations are low. 
i worked a few hours xmas day, then travelled to kograh to visit val and olga for a hash cookie and catch up. i have not seen them for ages and spent boxing day with them. they took me to the infamous cronulla and i went for a surf with val, later into newtown for a movie and some drinks, dinner and goodbye. it's always good to see them. 
back home i fell into a deep sleep.
this morning i took myself to the beach at dawn and caught some great waves, the water was amazing, refreshing and nurturing and whatever tension and residual anger / bitterness washed away. that energy is deep inside my bones but every day it seems easier to carry, divorce is hell when children are involved. dad's always lose out, that's the way it is i guess. what can you do but surf away the blues, maybe learn the harmonica.
it's hot, sun burns through the day like an avenging angels sword. the birds come for assistance, water, food, even my fish are chilling under their bridge. me i swan around in my sarong, not really knowing what to do with myself.